


livin' just to find emotion

by pettigrace



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Asexual Raphael Santiago, Asian Character(s), Bisexual Male Character, Book References, Character of Faith, Dancing, Dancing and Singing, Depression, Español | Spanish, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gay Raphael Santiago, Glee AU, Jace Being an Asshole, Jewish Character, Karaoke, Latino Character, Lesbian Character, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pansexual Simon Lewis, Partying, Pop Culture, Pre-Relationship, Raphael speaking Spanish, Rivalry, Simon gets the love he deserves, Simon may have a tiny crush on Magnus, Simon speaking Spanish, Singing, Slow Burn, Songfic, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-07 11:01:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 43,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8798317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pettigrace/pseuds/pettigrace
Summary: When Simon has to transfer to another school - the DuMort Academy -, the only thing that could save him from going mad would be to join the school's Glee club. Of course, life is not as easy as it could be, and he is denied to join just yet. He somehow manages to persuade the club's leader, Raphael, to prepare him so he can join in the next semester.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> You may be looking at this fic and going "Oh, yas, why did you title this piece of writing after Journey's _Don't Stop Believing_ aka _THE_ song known to represent FOX's hit show Glee?"  
>  Well, the answer is that I'm finally bringing the fic that we've all been waiting for: **A Saphael Glee AU**!  
>  I figured who could do it better than the person who's wasted the past 5 years of their life shipping two Glee characters who have never even met? So here it is!
> 
> Note that a lot of dancing and singing is happening in this, of course. I'm no expert on either of those and most of my knowledge about backgrounds or methods comes from Wikipedia. **You will find a list of the songs featured or referenced in the end notes of each chapter.**
> 
> Also, there's a lot of Spanish speaking going on in this, but I figured since the majority of people here doesn't speak it, I'm gonna do us all a favour and avoid massive chunks of Spanish text. Instead, it'll be English written in italics with hints about the fact that this is actually in another language. However, smaller parts like nicknames or short phrases will be written out in Spanish. **You'll find translations in the end notes of each chapter.**  
>  Since I'm neither a native in English nor Spanish, please feel free to point out mistakes to me!
> 
> As always, here's a reminder that I do not live in America, so I barely have any knowledge about how anything school related works there. Funny enough, I got everything I know from Glee itself, such as being able/having to transfer when you live in another district (I think Jesse mentioned something like that in s1 when he transferred?), so if anything is deadly wrong, shout about it at Ryan Murphy.
> 
> Also, seeing how this was originally planned as a Oneshot, parting it into chapters is pretty hard. Therefore, some chapters will be really short and others will be really long. I'm sorry.
> 
> For now, I hope you enjoy!

Does every new school feel like it's as big as the freaking moon? Simon wouldn't know because he's never had to transfer before, but he's sure the DuMort Academy just wants to show off to its multiple rich students by being _so huge_. And not only that, they can't even give their rooms proper numbers. Simon’s learned in the past two days that all room numbers above 300 are supposed to be in the south of the buildings, but apparently number B02/711 is in the _north_? This school is fucking confusing and if it had a consciousness, it would probably be smug about that.

The whole search has caused Simon to wander around in the wrong part of the building for half an hour until he's found _someone_ to ask for help. The girl had been nice, actually, but as confused about why that room would be in the north as he is. Nonetheless, she knew at least where he'd have to go.

When he finally arrives at the room in question, though, he's already 45 minutes late and the whole thing inside has started already. To his surprise, the door is actually _locked_ from the inside. If he hadn't heard the numb sound of a conversation, he'd have guessed nobody’d be there.

He knocks on the door, hoping that it's audible - at the Institute, you wouldn't have been able to make out someone shouting over the noise that they'd always produced. But the DuMort kids seem way more sophisticated so maybe that'd include the skill of being able to hear well, too. Who knows.

Okay, now _he_ knows. Because the door gets opened and a rather small Japanese girl peeks her head out of it, looking at him with a frown. There's not a single noise coming from inside.

“Wrong room, mate.”, she says coldly and backs away again, motioning to close the door.

“Really? Is it?”, Simon groans. “Listen, I've been looking for almost an hour by now, so could you maybe point to the room where the Glee club’s practicing?”

The girl looks even more irritated now. “Auditions have been _two months_ ago.”

Simon blinks at her. So he _is_ at the right room. One win at least. “Auditions?”, he repeats. Back at the Institute, just about anyone could join their glee club. Naturally, because barely anyone _wanted_ to join it, but they’d have taken anyone who did want to sing and/or dance with them.

“Yeah,” the girl says, crossing her arms. “If you wanna participate in a meeting, you'd have had to go to an audition first. And those have been over for ages now.”

“Well,” Simon starts, “I've only just transferred here so I, uh, I didn't really have the chance, did I?”

“Come back next semester.”, she offers with a shrug.

“ _What_?”, Simon gasps. If there's one thing that could make him actually _survive_ this new school, it'd be doing what he loves: singing. He can't wait multiple _months_ for that. “No! Can I talk to your teacher?”

She glares at him.

“Your _teacher_.”, he repeats, “The one who's in charge over glee?”

He's not sure if the smirk she gives him at that indicated that she understood at last, but before he can ask she nods and goes back into the room, closing the door behind herself as if the meeting were the most top secret thing ever.

It takes a few seconds until it opens again. Simon can barely suppress a groan when, instead of a teacher, a boy around his age comes out. How difficult can it be to just tell your teacher that someone is waiting for them outside?

Somehow, the guy looks familiar to him. He's got a darker complexion, Simon would guess he's Latino, too, with the honey-coloured skin and dark eyes that he has. Currently, they're narrowed as they look up at him. He doesn't look too happy to see Simon stand there.

“What?”, he barks.

“Jesus,” Simon mumbles to himself before adding, more loudly, “I wanted to talk to the glee club’s teacher?”

“We don't have one.”, the guy states, crossing his arms.

“What do you mean?”

In response, the other sighs. “We don't have a teacher but are led by a council of members. I am the head of it. So what do you want?”

Simon stares at him. Sure, he knows that there are some clubs that are led by members, but to be honest, he was expecting someone more… intimidating if he was ever faced with the leader of a club. This guy may look really pissed and intimidating, but he’s also _smaller_ than Simon, which doesn’t do good to his whole appearance. It makes him look like an angry cat. A cute angry cat.

“I, uh. I’d like to become a member.”

“Auditions have been over for two months.”, the guy remarks.

“Yeah, I’ve been informed.”, Simon says, scratching the back of his head. “But see, I wasn’t here back then, so I missed the deadline.”

“Well, that sucks for you.”

“Are you seriously telling me you can’t have me audition _now_ ? Literally why?”, Simon says - _whines_.

“We’ve had some problems with members last year, so now we’ve reduced ourselves to the ones who audition at the beginning of the semester rather than random people.”, the guy states, sounding all business-like.

“And you’re not going to make an exception?”

“ _Dios_ ,” the guy sighs.

Suddenly, Simon knows from where he recognizes him: He’s in his Advanced Spanish class. He’s made a particular impression on Simon when he kept fighting with the teacher about the true meaning of _La Cucaracha_ without ever breaking off speaking Spanish. Simon had barely been able to catch up on what he was saying and, as it has appeared, so did the teacher because she just resumed to sinking back into her seat with a loud and broken sigh. So yeah, Simon is not really sure if he wants to start a fight with him.

“Look, I can’t just go and bend our new rules for you, no matter how much you want this.”, the guy continues. “You can try next semester. I hope you have a good time at the DuMort.”

And with those words, he steps back inside the room and closes the door in front of Simon’s face. If he weren’t so choked up, Simon would’ve knocked on the door again, but right now he feels like he’d just break into crying if he were to talk.

So instead, he stalks out of the hall, out of the building, towards his car and then just _home_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
>  _Dios_ \- God
> 
>  **Referenced songs:**  
>  _La Cucaracha_ which is a folk song of the Spanish language and mostly associated with Mexico. It doesn't have fixed lyrics, but those that are the most popular (from the Mexican Revolution) refers to a Mexican president who had several addictions and wasn't very liked by the people.  
>  (That scene is actually in reference to an episode of Glee, where the same discussion happened.)


	2. Chapter 2

Simon’s played his guitar for almost the whole time since he got home yesterday. He’s been pretty devastated at the confrontation with the fact that he may not be able to join Glee club, so he’s gone to do the one thing that can always distract him: music. It’s pretty ironic, because that very coping mechanism of his is the  _ reason _ for the sad feeling in his chest. But still, somehow it helps to know that he’ll be able to play on the weekend at least.

His mum has ignored him for the first few hours, actually, but she’s gotten pretty mad when he still strummed on his guitar when it got close to midnight. He’s barely managed to eat what she’s brought him, too distracted by the different songs he’s decided to play. There’s old ones, new ones, original songs, little melodies stuck in his head - he plays everything and nothing, just getting lost in the sound. A couple of times he’d softly sing along.

He doesn’t look up when his room’s door is opened but continues to play. He supposes he could look at his mum while playing, but every so often getting lost in the music also means staring into nothingness.

That’s why he recognizes Clary only when she joins his singing.

 

_ Words fall through me and always fool me _

_ And I can't react _

 

Now, Simon may not be as much of a professional as he’d like to be, but he knows to carry on a song when someone joins. He would’ve stopped if Clary’d indicated that he should, but her having started singing along means it’d be rude to suddenly stop. So instead, he continues playing and they divide the lyrics according to the original.

 

_ Take this sinking boat and point it home _

_ We've still got time _

_ Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice _

_ You've made it known _

 

Clary walks over to where he’s sitting on the bed without missing a beat, sitting down next to him and extending her legs to sit more comfortably. She looks like a model this way, relaxed in a familiar environment and smiling softly at him when their eyes lock.

Once upon a time, that sight would have made Simon’s heart flutter and make him feel nervous, but nowadays it does nothing but make him happy. Of course, he still thinks that she’s absolutely beautiful, but now he can just  _ enjoy _ her presence without panicking or trying to get her to  _ notice _ him.

He’s glad that he’s over his crush and can spend time with his friends without getting jealous about Clary and Izzy’s relationship (though, funny as it is, they only even got to meet one another because  _ Simon _ had tried to hit on Isabelle). 

 

_ Falling slowly sing your melody _

_ I'll sing along _

 

_ I paid the cost too late _

_ Now you're gone _

 

They stay silent for a moment when they’re finished singing, smiling softly at one another. It doesn’t actually surprise Simon that Clary’s here. He’s pretty much ignored his phone for the whole day and usually the two of them barely go a few hours without texting or talking to each other. He’d feel bad about making her worry but to his defense, he did have a reason to feel down and seek isolation.

As if she’d read his mind, Clary speaks up. “You alright?”

Simon huffs and lets her take his hand off his guitar to put it into her own. Her thumb strokes over the back of it softly. 

“Did anything happen at the DuMort? You wanted to look for the Glee club, right?”

Simon feels a twist in his stomach at those words. He knows that, technically, being told he couldn’t try out for a  _ club _ shouldn’t have such an effect on him but then again, he’s never been one for normal reactions. It’s felt like a punch in the gut, probably even worse, because he’d thought it would make him feel less lost at his new school and now that silver lining is gone. He knows it's kind of ridiculous, but it's what he feels right now and he can't help it. 

“Uh, yeah…”, he says slowly. “They won't take me.”

Clary drops his hand at that. “What? Why? If they think you aren't  _ good enough _ \-- you are!  _ They _ aren't! They don't deserve you!”, she rants immediately. 

“Clary,” Simon actually chuckles a bit at her outburst and takes her hand again, “they didn't even let me  _ try _ .”

“What?  _ Why _ ?”

“Apparently they only have auditions at the beginning of the semester.”, Simon tells her. When he sees her expression, he adds, “I  _ did _ say I only just transferred but…  _ nada _ .”

“This is insane. That’s the  _ next school year _ !”, Clary decides. “Can they even do that? We should ask Luke--”

“How about we don’t do that?”, Simon suggests. “Like, Luke’s actually got nothing to do with that school, right? And if that’s the rules--”

“Don’t you dare finish with ‘that’s the rules’.”, Clary says, raising her index finger. “It’s really awful that they won’t let you join--”

“Yeah, but what kinda image will I have if I make a  _ parent _ \-- a  _ teacher _ persuade them to let me join?”, Simon asks. “Like, I love Luke, you know, but I’m not up for that.”

“Yeah, I get what you mean.”, Clary agrees. “Ugh, I hate that that happens to you.”

“Thank you.”, Simon mutters. He’s glad that Clary is here because she’s the one he can talk to about just everything. She just  _ knows _ what’s up and is there, even if she can’t do anything to make him fix things. He still feels slightly better.

“Hey, let’s hang up some posters!”, Clary suddenly announces, jumping up from her seat. 

Simon actually lets his eyes wander through the room. He’s still unused to it, every angle is different and everything’s standing in the wrong place because the  _ right _ place is back in  _ Brooklyn _ \- he doesn’t like it. At least not yet. There’s still boxes lying around everywhere, his wardrobe and bookshelves still empty, and like Clary has pointed out, so are the walls. Maybe he would feel more at home if he had his movie and comic posters visible.

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Featured Songs:**   
>  [Once Soundtrack - Falling Slowly](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkFB8f8bzbY)


	3. Chapter 3

Simon doesn't know why his life hates him so much. But it's a fact that it does. 

Not only did he have to move into a new district after their old landlord died and the new decided to destroy the building their apartment is in, no, he’s denied entering the glee club of the new school. And then, of course, there are classes.

When he walks into his Spanish class on Monday morning, he's late because he still hasn't understood how the parking lot system of this school works. Plus, he's still a little confused about the locations of the classrooms. But he's slowly figuring it out, he thinks. 

With being late comes, of course, that almost every seat is already taken. His Spanish class is pretty crowded, so there's literally only one free table in the middle of the room - and next to the guy whom Simon came to call  _ Infamous Head of The Clan _ . He doesn't even know if the guy actually is infamous but he's decided to call him that anyway. 

He halfway expects him to shoot him an annoyed glance when he sits down, but actually Clan Leader keeps looking down on the paper he's writing on. Simon can't recall that they've had homework, so he raises an eyebrow at the sheet before deciding that  _ staring _ certainly isn't polite. 

So instead, he takes out his notebook and pencil case and waits for the teacher to continue. Every now and then his eyes slip and look over to Clan Leader, but he doesn't say anything at least, so Simon considers that a win against his awkwardness. 

He learns this lesson that Clan Leader is called Raphael, that he can argue about just anything, and that he does  _ Math _ homework during class but is still able to concentrate on everything that's being said. 

He actually looks up once when Simon’s name is being called but Simon does his best to ignore him. He already stumbles enough over words without having a guy who's probably been fed Spanish vocabulary in the womb judge him. 

He actually manages quite well. He halfway forgets what he was even saying in the middle of his answer, but caught himself quickly so that nobody starts laughing at him. It's actually a nice feeling to have the teacher nod at him in appreciation once he's finished. 

His teacher at the Institute wasn't really too fond of him and has started chuckling whenever Simon’s messed up  _ somehow, _ so for some time he hadn't really been sure about his Spanish. He's known that he's probably been one of the best in his class, but ever since their teacher had learnt of his Cuban descent, he's grown cold. Simon guesses that nobody has told him that he's only started learning as a child and that he's stopped when his father died. 

He hadn’t actually considered that maybe now he’ll be judged for how well he  _ can _ speak rather than how well he  _ should _ speak, completely free from any prejudices. 

Out of the corner of his eye he can see that Raphael only look back at his homework once he’s finished speaking. From what he’s seen of the other, Simon would’ve guessed he wouldn’t miss an opportunity to call out someone because their Spanish isn’t as perfect as his, but apparently the guy isn’t what he seems like. Or maybe just not today, who knows.

But Simon decides that he definitely could work in this Spanish class.

 

-

 

Of course, just because he doesn’t go to the Institute anymore doesn’t mean that Simon’s just abandoned all contact to his friends. Naturally, he and Clary have never been easy to separate, no matter what. And since he and Clary’s girlfriend, Isabelle, perfectly get along as well, it’s perfectly normal for him to text with her throughout the day. 

She’s been eager to learn about how the new school is (though Simon has no doubt that Clary has already updated her) and he’s deliberately shared it with her. He’s always been good at complaining and Izzy is good at getting angry on other people’s behalf.

He knows that Isabelle likes to gossip, so it doesn’t surprise him that she’d talk to the rest of their friend group about what he texts her. He’s halfway expected her to tell them anyway. What is surprising, though, is that in the middle of a conversation, a text of hers just says, “ _ m knows this raphael dude!” _

Magnus is pretty popular at school despite (or probably because of) his rebellious nature. Not that he destroys anything or unnecessarily talks back to teachers or anything, but already with how he dresses and carries himself. Everyone knows him and he knows everyone, apparently. But still, they’re talking about someone who goes to  _ another _ school. And from what Simon knows, it’s not one that Magnus has gone to before he came to the Institute - if it is Simon would be pissed because Magnus could’ve given him tips on how to deal with, well,  _ anything _ -, so the chances are small that he knows someone here.

 

**To Isabelle:** What?

 

Logically thinking, Simon knows that pretty much all of his friends can embarrass him with a single story of what he's done in the past. So he's rather clumsy and socially awkward, sue him. 

But the thing is, Magnus would be one of the few who'd talk about something awkward that Simon has done without even realising that it's not necessarily something to share. He doesn't mean to cause harm and sometimes he even realises it once it's left his mouth (Clary for example  _ never _ notices) but then the damage is done already. 

So, essentially, if Magnus knows the guy whom Simon is trying to impress in order to get into The Clan, he's doomed to fail - that is, he already is because Raphael seems to hate his guts, but now even more. Which is great. 

 

**From Isabelle:** yeah clary n i talked bout u n mentioned ur glee probs and m spoke up

**To Isabelle:** HOW DO THEY KNOW EACH OTHER? 

**From Isabelle:** hang on 

**From Isabelle:** he said its non of our business. Like he used his srs voice. Didnt wanna argue

**To Isabelle:** UGH

 

He knows that while Magnus is pretty out-going, there’s a lot none of them knows about him. Simon’s pretty sure that even Alec, Magnus’ boyfriend and Izzy’s brother, has yet to figure out most parts of him. 

But still, it bugs him that Magnus would have a connection to Raphael - not just because of the embarrassment thing but because  _ maybe _ it could help him. Maybe Raphael would be nicer if he knew they have a common friend (assuming that he and Magnus  _ are _ friends) or maybe he could get to blackmail Raphael into getting him into the glee club.

But then again, he doesn’t want to  _ force _ his way into the group. No, if he does eventually become a member of The Clan, he’ll do it in the old-fashioned way: with talent. Sure, he may not be the most talented guy out there, but he can play and sing fairly well and if there’s one thing he’s got, it’s passion.

Thinking about it, it’s probably really none of his business how and why Magnus and Raphael have gotten to know one another. He’s no friends with Raphael and not exactly close to Magnus, so it wouldn’t probably affect him anyway. Who even says that  _ he’d _ be a topic in their conversations?

The ring of the bell makes him shove away his phone and grab his things - he’s been late to almost every class since he transferred here, but it’s especially awful when he’s had a break right before it. After all, that should mean he’d think and plan to have enough spare time to find the room. But of course, he’s had to get distracted by his phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you celebrate any of the holidays taking place this week, I hope you enjoy them! If you don't, have a great time anyways! :)


	4. Chapter 4

Say about Simon what you want, but if there's one thing he is, it's innovative. Since music is pretty much his most effective escape mechanism, he'll be damned if he didn't get to it _anyhow_ . He's decided to look if the music room is open during his lunch break - and if it isn't, he'll just ask a teacher to open it for him and lie about having forgotten his jacket or whatever. This will pretty much be the only chance he'll have on playing _something_ because the school days at the DuMort are way too long to give him the opportunity to play at home - it's always too late, according to his mother, plus she insists he spends the evening with doing homework. It's horrible, really.

When he comes to the choir room, the door is closed but when he presses down the handle, it opens. With the insight of the room come soft notes played on the piano.

Simon doesn't even have time to take in what the room looks like because his eyes find the piano - and a familiar figure sitting in front of it.

He moves ever so slightly as his fingers rush over the keys, playing smoothly and _fantastic_. But then, _holy shit_ , Raphael is _singing_.

 

_Luna quieres ser madre_

_y no encuentras querer_

_que te haga mujer._

_Dime luna de plata,_

_¿Qué pretendes hacer_

_con un niño de piel?_

 

Simon knows the song, of course, but he's only ever heard women sing it. He doesn't know if any man who covers it could be as good as Raphael is, but somehow he doubts it. He's got _goosebumps_ from the combination of Raphael’s voice and the soft way he's playing the piano.

 

_y en las noches que haya luna llena_

_será porque el niño esté de buenas_

_y si el niño llora_

_menguará la luna_

_para hacerle una cuna_

_y si el niño llora_

_menguará la luna_

_para hacerle una cuna._

 

When he's finished the song, Raphael keeps sitting like he was before. Simon sees nothing but his back, so he doesn't know why he does it - is he reviewing his own work? Is he thinking about what to do next? - so he takes a deep breath and goes, “That was beautiful.”

Raphael almost jumps from the bench, turning around to look at Simon. There's surprise, maybe even anger, in his eyes but something else, too, that Simon can't quite name.

“I mean! You can sing, _obviously_ , and it's been really nice and you're good with the piano!”, Simon tries saving himself.

“What are you doing here?”

“I, uh, I didn’t mean to spy on you, I swear! I think, actually, we both had the same idea. I-- I wanted to play some music.”, Simon quickly says, backing away a bit when Raphael gets up. “I didn’t know you were here, I didn’t want to barge in, so I… I’ll just go.”

“Simon,” Raphael says, his voice somehow both soft and firm, “it’s okay, I was just… I was finished anyway.”

“You were?”, Simon asks, starting to play with the end of his sleeves.

“ _Dios_ , yes, otherwise I wouldn’t have said it. Stop doing that, it’s annoying.”, Raphael orders with a look at his hands. “The room is yours.”, he adds as he walks past Simon.

When he’s gone, Simon stays where he is, eyes fixed on the piano. He’s always admired people who can play it so well - he thinks it’s amazing how they can hit keys that are several inches apart with fingers of the same hand. If he were to try it, he’d probably break a few bones. It actually stings that he and Raphael don’t get along, because he’d _love_ to make music with him before next semester when he can audition for the club.

For now, though, he can just stim a few songs on the guitar in the corner of the room for the rest of the hour by himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Featured songs:**  
>  Mecano - Hijo de la Luna (however, here is an [awesome male cover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0I6ORbPK-kc)!)


	5. Chapter 5

Simon shouldn't be surprised that Clary told Luke about his struggles with glee at the DuMort, and yet he is. Of course, it almost feels like he's not only Clary’s (almost legally) step-dad, but his own, too. And yet, he'd thought that for once in her life, Clary would listen to him and not share his personal struggles with someone else. He probably would've come around to tell Luke on his own, yes, but he didn't want to  _ yet _ . 

“If it helps, Clary told me as her parent, not as her teacher.”, Luke offers. He's always been good at reading other people’s expressions. Simon remembers trying to lie to him once and being busted immediately - back then he had figured that, in another life, Luke must be a policeman. 

Clary and Jocelyn are actually not at the table right now. They've left it a few minutes ago, claiming that they been hit by some inspiration for the picture that the two of them are working on together. Somehow Simon doubts that it's true because soon he's found himself alone with Luke, who's mentioned him not being in glee club. 

“You know, it-- uh, it's actually better.”, Simon says and puts down his bagel. “I mean, I'm still not in the club but I get to make music during lunch break-- actually, only half of it, but it's better than nothing, right?”

Luke nods. “Why only half, though?”

“Raphael - the club’s leader? - spends his break there usually, apparently. We haven't actually talked about it, but we kinda came to this arrangement?”

Luke huffs softly at that. “So that Raphael is the reason why you can't join?”

“Uh, no. I mean,  _ not just _ him?”, Simon blinks. Raphael had said that they have a  _ group _ of leaders, right? And that he's only the head of it? So making decisions probably isn't just  _ his _ job. Plus, he hadn't been as rude as that girl he first met about him not being able to join. “No, Raphael's actually… nice is not the right word… civil?”

Luke raises an eyebrow, indicating Simon to explain further, as he takes a sip of his coffee. 

“Well, he hasn't thrown me out of the room, right? And, like, we're in the same Spanish class and we even say hello to each other!”, Simon tells him. The fact that he's kind of excited about that says a lot about him, he thinks. 

“Hm, that's good.”, Luke decides. “I'm glad you get to play  _ some _ music at least. Those rules sound stupid but--”

“--they are the rules.”, Simon finishes and rolls his eyes. It's quite a teacher thing to say and he's heard it a lot ever since he started going to the Institute. You could almost think that this line is the codex of the school or something. 

Luke drops interrogating Simon after that, which he's thankful for. Instead, he starts talking about what topics he should give to the Glee club and shares the latest gossip with him - no matter whether it's about students or teachers. 

Simon feels like Luke’s telling him even more than usually and finds himself wondering whether it's because he's not  _ at _ the school anymore or if Luke just wants to distract him. If it's the latter, he has to say that it works. 

 

-

 

So, Simon really does appreciate that he and Raphael don’t just ignore one another. They probably could because, technically, they don’t have anything to do with each other except for running into each other twice a day - and, like, Simon doesn’t say hello to  _ everyone _ whose path he crosses - but they do nod at each other at least. 

And yet, he can’t help but feel weird that they don’t ever talk and that Raphael practically  _ flees _ from the choir room when Simon appears. He tries to make himself think that it probably doesn’t mean that Raphael is fleeing from  _ him _ but that he wants to give him the room before the break is over.

Today, his subconscious must’ve decided to act up on that because when he stands in the room’s door, he suddenly stops Raphael softly. “Wanna jam?”

Raphael gives him a puzzled look, raising an eyebrow. His mouth stands open a little and Simon can’t help but smile at the surprise written on Raphael’s face.

“What?”

“Uh,” Simon starts, now feeling unsure all of sudden. He shoots a look into the room - at the piano only because Raphael must’ve put all the other instruments away at the beginning of the break - before directing his gaze back at the smaller boy. “Wanna make music together?”

Raphael actually looks like he  _ considers _ it. Like, not just thinking about it for a short moment but as if he were listing up pro and cons about Simon’s offer. It makes him feel unsure about having stepped over any boundaries but then Raphael breaks into a smirk and shrugs.

“Yeah, why not?”

Now it's Simon’s turn to shoot him a look of surprise. Either Raphael ignores it or he doesn't see it because he turns on his heels and struts back to the piano. He doesn't even want for Simon to properly enter the room before he starts playing a few notes. They sound vaguely familiar to him, and Raphael actually helps him figure out why. 

“Do you know Sam Tsui?”

“Do I spent ridiculous amounts of time trying to catch up with the  _ old _ X-men comics?”, Simon answers and walks to the cupboards with the instruments. “ _ Duh _ .”

He turns and sees Raphael stare at him. It's mostly a neutral face, his eyebrows only slightly drawn together. He doesn't stop playing, though. 

“That was a yes.”, Simon clarifies and earns a nod. Now that Raphael’s told him the interpret of the song, he actually does recognize it. He walks over to where the guitars are stores and takes one - he remembers that there’s one in the song and even when he’s never actually played the song, he could probably sturm a few chords.

Raphael starts singing in the meantime. Simon’s still fazed by how nice his voice is so that he almost drops the guitar.

 

_ Measuring days in the spaces between our goodbyes _

_ Learning to wait through the endless parade _

_ Of our same old see-you-next-time's _

_ But when I close my eyes, the miles melt away _

_ Like you're here in my arms at the end of the day _

 

Simon starts playing along in the middle of the verse, earning a small smile from Raphael at that. He’s fighting with how to play best to fit to Raphael’s piano, but he’s managing well enough to join him in the chorus. And strangely enough, their voices actually fit together. It’s ridiculous - Simon knows he can sing, but he’d consider himself more on the average side whereas Raphael’s just… wow. But here they are, their voices joining and to Simon’s ears it sounds nice.

Simon hadn’t thought that he’d actually know the words, but when Raphael nods at him to indicate that the next stanza is his, they just come out.

 

_ Swear I don't know if the days are as slow as they seem _

_ Wondering when you'll be with me again and this _

_ Finally can be more than just a dream _

_ But when I close my eyes, I want only to stay _

_ Where the farthest you are is a heartbeat away _

 

And singing with Raphael is  _ fun _ . Simon can’t help but smile as he plays along, singing the words he thinks is accurate and seeing the same delight on Raphael’s face. It’s the first time that he seems to be free of wearing any mask and truly shows what he’s feeling. It’s good look and Simon thinks that if he has the chance, he’d do anything to make him look like that more often. If he hadn’t already wanted to join the Glee club, seeing Raphael like this would do the trick. 

He feels reminded of the club back at the Institute, how they’ve all just been there to do what they love. Their practice has consisted of nothing but jamming, pretty much what he and Raphael are doing right now - Simon’s heard that the Clan is actually participating in competitions, so he had already figured that there won’t be much jamming, but maybe it could be possible after all.

Their voices join once more for the last chorus.

 

_ So bring me the night, send out the stars _

_ Cause when I'm dreaming we don't seem so far _

_ Darken the sky, and light up the moon _

_ So that somehow you'll be here with me soon _

 

Simon’s still grinning when the end the song and when Raphael moves his head to face him again, he puts down the guitar. “That was, uh, nice.”

At that, Raphael turns on the bench, having the piano keys in the back. He nods. “You have a good voice. You definitely should try out for the club next year.”

“That’s the goal.”, Simon says. “So, uh, you usually spend your breaks here? Sorry for robbing the place.”

“Like I’ve said, if it’d bother me, I’d say so.”, Raphael says with a wave of his hand. “Besides, I still have practice. If you want, you can have the whole break.”

“I-- really? That’s really generous.”, Simon says quickly. “But, we, you don’t have to. It’s fine-- with half the break, I mean.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, totally! Maybe we can play together more often?”, Simon offers. “I mean, I’m not an expert but it did sound nice, didn’t it? Which is no surprise since your voice is awesome and you play really well but, like--”

“You ramble.”, Raphael says dryly.

“Oh, yeah. I have that habit. Sorry.”

Raphael sighs heavily. “Well, yes, we could play together sometimes.”, he shrugs softly. “But I have something to do now, if you’ll excuse me.”

“Uh, sure, yeah.”, Simon says, looking after him when he gets up. “See you in class?”

Raphael neither says anything nor does he turns around as he leaves the room. But actually, Simon has to admit he’s more friendly than he would’ve expected. Sure, he’s only exchanged five sentences with him at most, but he’s always been pretty grumpy and cut short when he replied.  _ If _ he even replied. 

But now he’s agreed to singing with Simon and even told him that he  _ could _ and  _ should _ join the club next semester and he’s offered him the room. That’s really nice, even if he’s said it more in a casual than happy voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Featured songs** :  
> [Sam Tsui & Kina Grannis - Bring Me the Night](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ihOCgdarFg)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all have a good start into 2017! May this year be better than the last - I mean, the bar is low enough.

“ _I want you to practice with me._ ”, Simon proposes the next morning in the middle of their Spanish class. At least, they are allowed to work in pairs so nobody will yell at him, hopefully.

“ _Spanish, you mean? I_ know _. Your pronunciation is off sometimes and your vocabulary consists of nothing._ ”, Raphael snarls without even looking up from his notes.

Truth be told, this works better than Simon had imagined. When he's played through this scenario last night, Raphael had shut him down without even listening. If he played his cards well, he might succeed.

“ _No_ ,” he says and tries his best puppy eyes - Raphael still doesn't look at him but Simon likes to believe they work nonetheless, “ _I meant with_ Glee _._ ”

At that, Raphael sighs and does look up at him. “ _'ve told you, you can't join this semester_.”

“ _I know. But I figured you guys have high standards, right? So I better be ready._ ”

“You want me to _train_ you for next semester.”, Raphael blinks, slipping into English.

“ _Sí_.”, Simon nods.

“ _You really want this._ ”, Raphael states.

“I wouldn't keep bothering you if I didn't.”

“Something tells me that you definitely _would_.”

Simon just shrugs, giving him a small smile.

Raphael’s gaze is firm on him, as if he were testing how determined Simon is. With all the talking Simon has done about how Glee club made him the happiest during his High School career so far and how much he loves music, he doesn't know what else to say to persuade Raphael to give him a chance. He keeps staring back to show him that he truly means it and won't back off.

“ _We're supposed to work on this task._ ”, Raphael points his pen at his paper.

“We can, once you've given me an answer.”

“Dios _, I can't believe you're making me do this._ ”, Raphael mumbles and massages the bridge of his nose. “Fine, I'll do it.”

“Really?”, Simon gasps, a little too loud.

“ _Sí, Simon, estoy serio._ Now shut up, I only have half an hour to list all the reasons why Columbus sucks more than a gay man with an oral fixation.”

“Maybe he was one,” Simon mumbles. “¿ _Quién sabe_?”

And to his surprise, Raphael lets out a barking laugh, making everyone - including their teacher - turn their heads towards them.

Actually, this could be good. Not just bothering Raphael about the club, but actually hanging out with him. He may be a little grumpy, but as it appears he has a _great_ sense of humour.

 

-

 

“So,” Simon starts as he, Clary and Isabelle sink down on their seats at Java Jones. One of Simon's classes was cancelled, so he's had more time than usually, giving him the opportunity to drive over to Brooklyn without having to hurry. “I'm still not in the club _but_ I've talked Raphael into practicing with me.”

Izzy raises an eyebrow at that. “Really? From what Magnus said, he doesn't sound like the guy to just _help_ people.”

“Yeah,” Clary nods. “What have you promised him for that?”

Actually, now that they say it, Simon realises how egoistic that agreement has been. He hasn't even offered Raphael anything in return for spending his lunch breaks with him! _God_ , he needs to think of something soon.

“Uh,” he grins shyly, “My talents and puns in the next school year?”

“Wow,” Izzy whistles through her teeth. “He must like you if _this_ is what he's accepted.”

Simon sticks his tongue out at her but feels his cheeks heat up at the same time. Of course, a part of him must've realised that Raphael doesn't _hate_ him, but the word ‘like’ indicates so much more. So, to distract them, he asks, “How's the club? Did Luke give you any awkward tasks?”

The girls snicker at that, throwing knowing glances at one another. Simon suppresses a sigh. Only a month ago, he would have been along their laughter - now he needs to wait for them to calm down so he'll know what's so funny.

“Luke basically didn't do anything other than usually.”, Clary says.

“Oh, but _Jace_ …”, Izzy continues, still grinning. “Oh my, Clary, just show him.”

Still giggling, Clary takes out her phone and opens something. Both her and Izzy move closer so that Simon is in their middle and they can all look at the video at the same time.

It's unfocused at first before it zooms in on Jace’s blonde head. The video must've started in the middle of a song.

 

_You're beautiful, you're beautiful_

_You're beautiful, it's true_

_I saw your face in a crowded place_

_And I don't know what to do_

_'Cause I'll never be with you_

 

“Oh my God, _what_.”, Simon gasps, not even able to phrase it as a question.

“Wait for it.”, Clary chuckles.

For a split second Simon thinks that maybe Jace’s serenade has gone wrong and he's embarrassed himself in front of the whole school. But while that'd be a first, Simon knows that neither Clary nor Izzy would laugh at him if it were the case. So either, Meliorn, the guy whom Jace has been insisting on walking to every class for the past months, has jumped on the train waggon or he's told him off gently, when everything was over.

Simon watches as Jace continues.

 

_But it's time to face the truth_

_I will maybe be with you?_

 

When he's finished, Jace steps closer to the table he's been looking at the whole time, his chest heaving. Simon finds himself grinning as he realizes that Jace must’ve changed the original lyrics of the song to make it fit to his situation.

“So, what do you say?”, he asks someone off screen.

A second later, the picture zooms out and Simon can see Meliorn’s beautiful profile, a soft smile on his lips. “Your voice is superb.”, he states.

“Thank you.”, Jace nods and Simon could swear he's able to see a faint blush on his cheeks. “I… would you like to go out with me? ”

In response, Meliorn throws back his head in laughter, leaving Jace to look really unsure for a moment. But then he looks at him again, “You wouldn't even have had to do all this,” Meliorn says and gestures around, “Although it's been very good. ”

Jace just stares at him.

“Yes, Jace Lightwood, I'd like to go out with you.”, Meliorn tells him.

It's visible on Jace’s face how relieved he is and Simon can't help but grin along with him when the video slowly fades out.

“Well, that,” Simon starts as the girls leave him more room to breathe again and go back to their original seats, “was a _statement_.”

Isabelle nods eagerly. “I can't wait for this week’s school paper!”

“Jace would love being on front page. Plus, nobody dares to laugh at him because he _would_ punch them with his lacrosse stick.”, Clary agrees.

Simon keeps on grinning, enjoying the chatter about and with his friends.

Of course, Jace’s reputation has had a shift when he's joined glee. At first everyone at the Institute had just assumed that he's joined because of Izzy since she's been a founding member, but when it became apparent that he _enjoyed_ it, lots and lots of rumours were spread. Of course, Jace has only scoffed at being called gay because _hello_ , yes, he _is_ not straight, but still, being mocked by his _peers_ must've been hard on him even if he'd never admit it.

It's both a pretty Jace-like and Jace-unlike thing to serenade someone in public, Simon reckons. Because Jace loves attention and having everyone stare at you as you sing must be his personal wet dream, but then, singing _at_ someone means you're also directing attention at _them_ and not only on yourself. He guesses Jace really must like Meliorn to do that. Which is strange because until Jace has taken it upon himself to walk the other everywhere, Simon hadn't even known they knew each other.

Being sung to must be nice, probably. Simon remembers how his dad always sung for him and Becky and how they enjoyed it, but he guesses that that's entirely different. You probably can’t - or rather _shouldn’t_ \- compare a romantic seduction to a lullaby that your dad sings to you.

“So, did this date already happen?”, he asks.

Clary looks at Izzy in question.

“It’s gonna be tomorrow, actually. The classic Saturday-evening-movie-and-then-cheap-dinner thing.”, Izzy shrugs. “Surprisingly, Jace didn’t come to me for fashion advice yet, but I probably won’t get to sleep in tomorrow, knowing him.”

She actually looks annoyed for a split second, but then she smiles again. Simon knows that she likes to sleep in late because often she gets hung up on a book or an article that she meant to read shortly before going to bed until it’s the middle of the night. But at the same time she’s never one to turn down an opportunity to show off her fashionista side or help one of her brothers, so she should be fine.

“Aw, babe, but he’ll probably give you something in return.”, Clary says. “Which means, he’ll ask me what he could get for you.”

“You know, I _could_ use a new scarf.”, Izzy nods thoughtfully. “Maybe something blue?”

Clary grins. “I’ll let him know.”

Simon coughs after a while that they’ve spent making heart eyes at each other, indicating that he’s still there. He loves them both dearly, but it’s annoying how they sometimes forget that he exists when they have one of their moments.

“Sorry, Si.”, Clary says, her cheeks a little pink. “So, when will your special training start?”

“Monday.”, Simon answers and takes a sip of his drink. “That’ll give me almost the whole semester to prepare for next year.”

“Wow, remember when we wanted to build the Glee club for fun.”, Izzy mutters. “Are you sure you’ll even enjoy it?”

Simon doesn’t even have to think about his answer. “It’s music, isn’t it? I’m certain I’ll love it.”

In return, both girls smile at him in mixture of concern and something close to love. He knows it’s ridiculous how dependent he is on music, but it’s nothing he can help. And yet, it’s reassuring to know that they’ll have his back if something goes wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations** :  
>  _Sí, Simon, estoy serio._ \- Yes, Simon, I'm serious.  
>  _¿Quién sabe?_ \- Who knows?
> 
> **Featured songs:**  
> [James Blunt - You're Beautiful](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oofSnsGkops)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway, I hope y'all enjoy both this chapter and the new episode!

Simon's figured it'd be best to be actually punctual for his meeting with Raphael. The other doesn't seem like he'd appreciate having his time wasted and frankly, Simon wouldn't be happy about that either. In his last class, American History 101, he'd chosen the table closest to the door and hasn't even taken out all of the things he usually has on his table but only a pen and his notebook just so he could _sprint_ out of the room as fast as possible.

He still has problems finding the room, though, so that's probably how in God’s name Raphael manages to be there before him.

He's sitting on one of the chairs, a piece of papers in his hands that's occupied his whole attention. Simon notices that his dress shirt is open and reveals a white muscle shirt underneath, the v-neck so low he can see a necklace go down into it. He can't see what the chain is, but somehow he finds himself appreciating that Raphael wears jewellery.

“Uh, hi?”, Simon makes softly, stepping into the room.

As an answer, Raphael just holds up a hand, indicating that he shall shut up, and keeps his eyes fixed on the paper.

Simon watches him and notices only now that his hair is free of any product. It's still slicked back, though, because it's so wet that it even leaves drops running down his neck.

To distract himself from this sight, Simon starts to let his eyes wander through the room. It's actually not as tidy as it's been the last time that he's been here - today it looks like there's actually been _people_ here to throw things around. It feels good to know that despite its reputation, the DuMort’s students are actually humans. The instruments are put into a pile in one corner of the room, a messy one, and the open cupboards indicate that the ukuleles, tambourine and castanets actually belong into them rather than the floor. Weirdly enough, it makes Simon smile.

“I didn't get around to clean up just yet.”, he hears Raphael say.

His eye snap back to him and he sees that he's still holding the paper, but his eyes are on the pile, too.

“ _You_ clean up here?”

“Well, not really. Just… when I come here. The Middle Schoolers have a class before break and they never put things away. I just don't enjoy chaos around me.”, Raphael says, giving Simon a long look that makes him look down to the floor.

Was Raphael attacking him? Simon knows that he's not the most collected person, and stumbling into Raphael’s life and demanding things probably intrudes his daily schedule. He could understand if he were.

“I'm gonna finish this real quick,” Raphael motions with the paper, “You can warm up in the meantime.”

“Warm up?”, Simon repeats. “I thought we were _singing_.”

At that, Raphael lets out an exhausted sigh and puts his paper down at last. “Are you telling me you don't do warm-ups?”

“I'm guessing this is a thing you do when you participate in contests?”

Raphael’s favourite thing to say (at least when Simon is around) seems to be “ _Dios_ …”, Simon notices. But he also adds, “It’s like I’m talking to a _bebé_.”

Simon suppresses a groan at the other's apparent disbelief because _hey_ , the glee club at the Institute was _only_ for getting together to sing and dance and nothing more. They've never meant to become professionals and whatnot, so they didn't learn anything to achieve that. The only reason that Luke even started giving them assignments was because they run out of songs to sing otherwise.

He tells Raphael as much and gets a puzzled look in reply. “I thought you went to St. Francis Xavier.”

For a moment Simon frowns but then he realises that, of course, Raphael wouldn't know about the inside jokes they have at the Institute. “Oh, uh, yeah! I did! It's just, like, a thing to call it Institute. Dunno who started it, but it's been like this for ages. Kind of a tradition, you know?”

To his surprise, Raphael starts smirking. “Okay, fine. You know why you need warm-ups? You're voice isn't as croaky and your endurance is better. You can sing for longer and louder.”

He gets up from his seat and walks over to where Simon is still standing. When he stops, he’s close to invading Simon’s private space, but he doesn’t really do it.

“Do you know breathing techniques at least?”

“Uh, I know how to breathe…?”, Simon offers, feeling incredibly stupid. He guesses that it _is_ a bit dumb of him not to know about any of this when his big dream is to form a band and become successful with it, but then again it’s just a distant thing, something that will never happen anyways. And yet, he probably should have looked further into this.

It’s no surprise that he earns The Glare™ for that answer. Raphael sighs again before ordering, “Take a deep breath.”

Simon does as he’s told.

“No, deeper. Into your abdomen.”

Well, Simon _tries_ to do as he’s told.

“Good. Hold it. And then,  _lentamente_ , breathe out. As if you were breathing through a straw.”

It’s actually weird, to blow out some air as Raphael watches him, but Simon does his best to keep it steady. He has no idea what this should even do - like, sure, being able to breathe properly is probably good for singing, yes. But it’s not like he has asthma? So, yeah, he _can_ breathe.

“And repeat.”

Simon closes his eyes as he takes another breath. Somehow he has the feeling that he won’t get to sing today.

 

-

 

“Did you know that sitting while you sing is contra-productive?”, Simon asks and takes a sip of his coffee. It's perfect, has just the right amount of caramel in it to still count as a coffee - in his defense, it simply substitutes the usual sugar. Somehow, Jace manages to do it perfectly _every time_ and Simon has once spent his free period on a Friday morning repeatedly telling Jace that he must marry him so he can always have good coffee.

Of course, Jace hadn't really appreciated that offer.

It's quite a good thing that Jace works at the coffee shop whenever he can, because it means he's there almost every time that Simon is. It hasn't been as much for him lately, seeing how he lives in Spanish Harlem now and Java Jones is located in Brooklyn, but here he is on a Saturday evening.

“You know, when I asked what's up, it was more of a polite thing rather than interest.”, Jace says dryly but grins when Simon sticks out his tongue.

“And here I thought you were _missing_ me.”, Simon says.

Jace sighs in return, which Simon counts as a win. He and Jace clash every so often, but Simon likes to think of them as friends anyway. Jace is probably _dying_ without being able to glare at Simon for stupid comments. Thinking of that, so is Alec probably.

“No, but seriously, like, Raphael's been going on and on about how you should keep your body while singing and _boy_ , we've done it wrong all along. Plus, breathing-techniques? Freaking helpful, I tell you.”

Jace looks at him with a sleepy expression. “Who was Raphael again?”

“The Glee club’s leader?”

“You're in the Glee club?”

Simon blinks at him. “Jesus, one would think that you _talk_ to your sister. Izzy knows everything!”

“Well, see,” Jace shrugs, “I do talk to Iz, but as soon as your name is dropped, I just hear _blah blah blah_. And, like, not even the _Totally Fucked_ melody.”

“Wow, thank you so much.”

“So, you are in the club? From what I've heard, they're, like, actual _performers_ , right? How’re you keeping up with _that_?”, Jace wants to know.

“No, I’m not in it. Yet.”

Jace grimaces at that. “Geez, that sucks. So why is this Raphael teaching you breathing-techniques? Are you having sex with him to get _into_ the club?”

“Jace!”, Simon exclaims. He can’t stop his cheeks from heating up, though. “ _I'm not_. He’s helping me step up my game.”

“At sex.”, Jace nods with a smirk.

“He does _not_!”, Simon says and buries his head in his hands. “ _God_ , why are you like this?”

“People love me like this.”

“Speaking of,” Simon lifts his head, “How’s Meliorn?”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Jace makes, “Of course they’d show you.”

“Yeah, of course they would.”, Simon sing-songs. “That was a lovely performance, I gotta say.”

“Oh, screw you.”, Jace says and shows him The Finger. “I have some tables to wait.”

Simon just laughs as he stalks off. It’s good to have something against _Jace_ for once. Usually he’s the one who’s above everything and is never flustered. So yeah, it’s fun to see him hiding.

 _Man_ , Simon would give everything to be back at the Institute while Jace is still embarrassed about his crush on Meliorn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
>  _bebé_ \- baby  
>  _lentamente_ \- slowly
> 
> **Referenced songs:**  
> [Spring Awakening OBC - Totally Fucked](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ms8EZbGDt1Q)


	8. Chapter 8

“Can we maybe, like, actually play some music today?”, Simon asks when Raphael’s put down his paper. It’s become quite a ritual for him to wait until Raphael’s finished his homework for later that day (Simon’s learnt that the other barely ever does homework at home - although he still doesn’t know the reason for that because it doesn’t seem like Raphael has the time in between classes) in the few days that they’ve taken up on this arrangement.

“Depends on how well you warm up.”, Raphael tells him.

They’ve gone from breathing techniques to warm-ups that actually require Simon making a sound, so he’d figured it can’t take too long to have him sing at last. At first it’s only been low notes to see how long he could hold them, then he’s gradually gotten louder and quiet again, going through entire octaves. Simon’s still felt stupid by doing so, but he’s slowly realized that it does help. Not that he’s really _sung_ anything in the week since they started this, but he feels like he could probably do even better now.

Raphael walks him through everything they’ve practiced so far once again, nodding and smiling softly as an encouragement for him. He actually says, “Well done”, when he’s finished.

Simon feels his cheeks heat up a little but tries to suppress it. “Uh, by the way!”, he says to distract both himself and Raphael, “I’d, er, thought about, you know… How I didn’t offer you anything for helping me? So, uh, whatever you-- I could help you with classes! Are you-- Are you even bad at anything?”

“Did you know that talking strains your vocal chords more than singing?”, Raphael replies in a bored tone. “You should shut up, Simon.”

“No, but I mean it! I’m taking up your _lunch break_ , for God’s sake. I should repay you somehow.”

“It’s fine,” Raphael snarls. “I have Home Ec after the break, so I wouldn’t eat anything now anyways, alright? You’re not robbing me off anything.”

Simon blinks at him. Sure, he probably should’ve considered that, seeing how Raphael’s seemed to spend his break here when Simon first wanted to do the same, he probably wouldn’t mind being here _now_. He’s got an explanation for Raphael not needing to eat - for Simon it’s simply a free period that he has later - but that means he still has no clue how to thank him for helping him.

“No, but seriously, dude, I could, like, help you with school? I’ve seen you do Math class during Spanish. You need help with that? I’m good at Math.”

“I don’t need _help_.” Raphael spats. “I’m good at Math, too--”

“Well, I’m good at more things!?”, Simon yelps, eager to finally find something to do in return. “Really, my worst subject is Spanish!”

“ _What_?”, Raphael makes and looks at him with big eyes. It’s actually the most surprised that Simon’s ever seen him. “Then you must be a genius at the other subjects, hm?”

“Ah, no. I mean, I get As and Bs, but it’s not like it’s natural or anything--”

“But you must get As at Spanish, too.”

“Nah, not really.”, Simon shrugs. At Raphael’s disbelieving look (which actually makes him feel pretty good about himself, having Raphael say that his Spanish is good) he tells him about his old teacher at the Institute.

Raphael frowns at that before huffing. “Well, you can be happy then, that you’re at the DuMort now.”, he decides with a soft smirk.

Simon doesn’t know what he should answer. On one hand, he’s still missing the Institute so much that it tugs at his heart to just think about it - he’s missing the familiar hallways, he’s missing his friends, the food in the cafeteria - but on the other, he’s found himself enjoying the classes way more here, it is true. Maybe it’s because the teachers can’t base their opinions regarding him on how he may have behaved years ago. Maybe it’s because the lessons are actually better. He doesn’t know. He’s also slowly developing kind of a rhythm for his days here. Maybe he’s just needing more time to truly get used to this school.

“And now, let me hear your _singing_ voice for once.”, Raphael closes.  “Just sing… _You are My Sunshine._ ”

Simon glares at him. “ _You are My Sunshine_.”, he repeats.

“ _Yes_ , it’s a very common song and it’s not too difficult despite showing both high and low notes at the same time.”, Raphael says. He actually sounds like a teacher right now. “I guess that you do know it, don’t you?”

“Yeah, well, of course I know it!”, Simon says. Truth be told, he’s rather shocked that _Raphael_ knows it because for some reason, Raphael doesn’t seem like the guy to know any children’s songs. Or like the guy who’s ever been a child.

“Well then.”, Raphael nods and starts playing on the piano.

Simon, who’s still a bit overwhelmed by all those topics that they’ve pretty much just run through, takes a deep breath and straightens his back, waiting for the time to start singing. It’s actually quite soothing to watch Raphael move his fingers over the keys smoothly, so once Simon opens his mouth to sing, that feeling of being overwhelmed is almost completely gone.

 

 _The other night dear, as I lay sleeping_  
_I dreamed I held you in my arms_  
_But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken_ _  
So I hung my head and I cried._

 

Raphael looks at him every now and then while he plays. He cringes (in a low-key way because apparently Raphael is not too much of an asshole) when Simon’s voice creaks at a higher note - okay, well, so maybe he _is_ still nervous, but you can’t blame him because this is the first time he sings _on his own_ in Raphael’s presence - and looks quite content when Simon doesn’t fuck up.

 

 _You Are My Sunshine, my only sunshine_  
_You make me happy when skies are gray_  
_You'll never know dear, how much I love you_ _  
Please don't take my sunshine away._

Raphael raises his eyebrows as he finishes playing and looks up at Simon. “Well,” he starts in a voice that doesn’t help Simon with his worries at all, “there’s room for improvement, but _por lo menos, no tenía salir de la sala_.”

“That’d have been pretty rude,” Simon points out.

“You singing badly after all of this would’ve been rude, too.”, Raphael answers. “ _But_ gladly you have a nice voice and once you get used to proper singing, it’ll be more than durable.”

Simon stares at him and can barely keep his mouth from falling open. If he wasn’t mistaken, Raphael has just _complimented_ him. In a twisted way, sure, but still. He feels his cheeks heat up and shoots a look down quickly, mumbling a _thanks_.

“We’ll try this again tomorrow.”, Raphael decides and takes a look at his phone. “Break’s over in a few minutes, so doing more _now_ would be pointless.”

“Huh, right.”, Simon adjusts his glasses. “Well, then…? See you tomorrow!”, he adds and collects his bag from the floor.

“ _Hasta mañana_.”, Raphael echoes and watches him leave the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
>  _por lo menos, no tenía salir de la sala._ \- At least I didn't have to leave the room.  
>  _Hasta mañana._ \- See you tomorrow.
> 
>  **Referenced songs:**  
>  _You Are My Sunshine_ , originally a country song that is nowadays used as a love song or lullaby most of the time.


	9. Chapter 9

“Honey, can you explain to me why I’m missing an entire loaf of bread? I only bought one two days ago!”

Although his mother doesn’t sound angry per se, only slightly irritated and mostly confused, Simon flinches on his seat. He takes the pencil he was chewing on out of his mouth and makes his way towards the kitchen. 

It’s nice what his mum has done with it, the bright purple walls making the room look even bigger - as if it weren’t already enough that it’s, like, twice as big as their old one. There’s still a few boxes lying around that belong into other rooms, but they can easily be avoided while working in the kitchen.

“Oh, uh, I’ve packed lunch packets.”, Simon explains once he’s standing in the doorway.

“What for?”

“For me?”, Simon offers. With how much his mum has been nagging him about doing good in school, he doesn’t really think she’d appreciate how much he’s doing for a club he’s not even in yet - she’s already been concerned about him having Glee practice once a week at the Institute. “I’ve been meaning to save the lunch money.”

“Well, that’s certainly a good idea,” his mum nods. “Only that I’m paying your lunch money right to the school.”

Simon’s face falls. Sometimes he really is an idiot. “Ah.”, is all he makes at that, hesitantly.

See, Elaine Lewis is not really an intimidating person. Sure, she has the don’t-play-tricks-on-me look perfected while raising her two kids, but that doesn’t mean that he’s scared of her. Well, usually he isn’t. But now that he’s tried to lie to her…. Oh well.

“I, uh, I don’t go to the cafeteria during the break.”, Simon explains.

“Why? I’ve only heard good things about the food. They even have a good vegan menu!”

Simon can’t hide a small pout at that. He hadn’t even thought about that any more - of course, his mum respects his food choices, but she only knows about three different meals. At school he could’ve discovered more, probably. But well, he’s got  bigger goals than food. 

“Oh, I’ve actually only tried it a couple of times. I-- actually, I’m studying during the break.”

“Studying?”, his mother repeats, an eyebrow raised. “But you’re already studying so much at home.”

“Well, I wish we’d put up a calendar already because then I could mark this day.”, Simon says. At his mum’s puzzled expression, he adds, “Oh, come on! You saying I study  _ too much _ ? I should tell Becky about this.”

“What  _ exactly _ are you studying during the break?”

Simon could probably try again to tell her something he’s made up - but that hasn’t worked only a few moments ago, though, so why should it now? He doesn’t know if he’s such a bad liar or if his mum is so good at finding out he’s not telling the truth, but he certainly doesn’t doesn’t want to deal with her wrath.

“... Music?”

At that, his mum just sighs, finally taking her hand off her hips. “Well, that was inevitable.”

Now it’s Simon’s turn to look surprised.

His mum clicks her tongue. “Honey, I do want you to do your best at school, but I can’t deny you to do what you love, can I? Besides, you being all sulky about not doing music probably wouldn’t help your motivation.”

“That… is right.”, Simon nods. “I’m actually, uh, practicing to join the Glee club.”

“The DuMort has one, too?”

“Yeah. They’re way more serious than our club, though, so I gotta be good.”, Simon tells her. “But once I’m in the club I will reduce those extra-activities to the few hours of practice.”

“You don’t  _ have _ to,” she groans. “I want you to do be good, of course, but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to do  _ anything _ . Jeez, you’re making me look like a control-freak.”

Simon refrains from telling her that sometimes this very description would be fitting. But she’s right, she gives him a lot of rules and tips, but it’s never like she really plans his life for him. He’s still got more freedom than he probably even should have, so it’s not really his place to complain. And yes, after all, she doesn’t forbid him to do anything he really likes. So instead, he just mumbles, “Sorry.”

“So, you’re  _ practicing _ ?”, she wants to know. “What exactly does that entail?”

Simon smiles at her, thankful for her interest. “Uh, so far I’ve learnt breathing techniques? For warming up and what to do while singing to boost up my lungs’ volume.”

“You’re working with a teacher?”

“No.”, Simon says, “It’s, um, the leader of the club. He’s in my Spanish class.”

“Nice of him to offer that to you.”, his mum nods.

“Yeah, I know?”, Simon quickly says before he tells her that Raphael hadn’t really volunteered to do it. “It’s really helpful. I’ll only be able to get into the club next school year, though. They have auditions every semester.”

“Oh, that’s sad. I know how much you liked the club at St. Francis.”, she says.

She actually looks sad for him, which upsets Simon a little. He’s not content with them having had to move or that he’s had to switch schools, yes, but there’s no way that he’d blame her for that. After all, it’s not like she’s killed their old landlord. And the DuMort is a good school - he could be happy about getting to do the last bits of his High School care there. 

“It’s not like either of us could change anything about it.”, he sighs. “It’s fine, really.”

“I’m glad you get to do it, though.”, his mum says, “And I’m also glad that you told me because now I can stop paying money for nothing.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.”, Simon gives her his best apologetic smile. “Uh, I’ll continue this Geography homework?”

“You’re a coward, Simon Lewis!”, his mum laughs but waves him off.

“Well, you have raised me,” Simon shoots back, laughing equally as hard. He stumbles back into his room, like he’s said. 

Truth be told, he doesn’t even know why he hasn’t brought the Glee club problems up to his mum before. Sure, they’re not as close like Clary and her parents, who just discuss about everything, but it’s not like he tries to keep his mum out of his life. He guesses that a small part of him must’ve been convinced that she disapproves of his interest in music (which is actually nonsense, considering she’s encouraged him to pick up his guitar again after his dad had died) - it doesn’t make sense, but that’s how his brain works sometimes. 

But now he’s glad that she knows.


	10. Chapter 10

Simon’s just scrolling through the music on his phone when a loud voice echoes through the room.

Raphael has reckoned that it would better for Simon to practice his singing with songs he actually likes and _can_ sing. “For doing back-ups, you're already good enough.”, he's said and Simon has decided to look upon it as a compliment.

It isn't rare that Raphael praises him, but when he does it's always connected with a  reminder or hidden behind something you could understand as an insult. He doesn't know why Raphael is incapable of just saying he's done good, but he's learnt to accept it with a smile. Sometimes he even gets one on return, which is nice.

So today, Raphael has told him to choose a song he likes and stated that he'd be able to pick up the melody soon enough to have him sing without playback. He hasn't said it to show off, probably - actually, almost everything that leaves Raphael's mouth could _be_ material to show off -, but just stated it because apparently that's how things are. Where Simon needs a week and sheets of music to learn a song, Raphael can do it by hearing.

“Raphael! I was wondering if you--”, the rest of the words die as the girl uttering them steps into the room and sees Simon.

Simon recognises her, too, as the girl he'd first met when he wanted to join the glee club, and frowns at her irritated expression. There isn't a rule in their club that says Raphael couldn't play music with someone who wasn't in it, is there?

“Lily,” Raphael starts. He doesn’t change anything about his posture - not that he’s, like, slouching in his seat or anything, but he doesn’t move at all so that he’s still mostly facing Simon. “What’s up?”

“I, uh, I didn’t know you were-- whatever you're doing.”, Lily answers.

Simon thinks that she probably doesn’t remember him. Not that he can blame her, she’s only spent a few moments glaring at him some time ago and from what he knows, they don’t share a single class.

“I’m helping Simon to get ready for the Clan next year.”, Raphael tells her. “He'll join us then.”

Simon’s about to shoot him a thankful smile because it sounds like the second compliment in an hour, but then he sees Lily drawing her eyebrows together as she looks at him. Ah, so now she recognizes him.

“Since when do you--”, she starts, looking at Raphael, but suddenly shakes her head softly. “Okay, whatever. I meant to talk to you. Mind if I steal him for a moment?”, she adds, addressing Simon.

“Uh, no, sure.”, Simon says quickly. He lifts his phone and adds, “Then I can continue looking in _peace_.”

“I was _just_ saying that most punk songs aren’t suitable for the piano - at least not this fast.”, Raphael sighs as he gets up.

Lily _chuckles_ at that. Simon can’t see the look that Raphael gives her because he’s only facing the other’s back but she puts her hand in front of her mouth to hide her laughter.

Simon sits back when the door is closed and wonders whether he should try to listen in. He shoots away that thought quickly, though, because he doesn’t even have a clue what they’re _discussing_ \- he doesn’t even know how close they are. Next thing he knows, they’re planning a date or talk about something _really_ intimate. No, that’s nothing he really wants to eavesdrop on.

Instead, he decides to just continue looking for a song. Raphael would probably appreciate if he came back and they could finally continue practicing.

But now he needs to find the ideal song. Sorting things by genre is garbage on his phone because illegal downloads don’t have all the accurate information about data saved, so it’d get messed up anyway. He flicks through the list of interprets instead and hopes he does find something at last.

Since punk is out of the race, he guesses that Alternative Rock is, too, and that he can cut _Fall Out Boy, Billy Talent, Green Day_ and _My Chemical Romance_. Of course, not all of their songs are incompatible with pianos, but it’d probably make things easier if he just excluded them at the start before having to skip through dozens of songs for each.

It doesn’t take him too long to narrow it down to one band, so he’s left without a task while Raphael is out of the room. To spend the time waiting, he decides to pick up those breathing-techniques Raphael’s taught him - after all, he hasn’t sung for about half an hour and he doesn’t know how long it takes for them to wear off.

He’d do the singing, too, but it’d probably be weird for Raphael (and maybe Lily, too) to enter to him belting out random noises.

He’s breathed in and out six times until the door opens again and Raphael steps inside. Lily is gone, apparently, so Simon is positive they can continue their session. There’s probably only ten minutes left until the next period starts.

“Did you find something?”, Raphael asks as he steps back to the piano, pulling up the sleeves of his shirt. Needless to say, Simon hates him for it.

“Uh, yeah,” Simon says, holding up his phone, “D’you know _A Great Big World_?”

“Can’t say that that name rings a bell.”, Raphael shrugs and sits down. “ _¿Ponlo?_ ”

Simon nods and presses the play button, turning up the volume. Raphael doesn’t show any sign of recognition as the piano starts playing, but during the first stanza he walks back to his own and tries to play along. He’s missing a few keys here and there or hits the wrong one at times, but all in all he _manages_. Simon can only try so hard to hide his amazement.

After the second play-through, Raphael only misses two notes as a whole.

“Okay, let’s try it.”, he says when the song ends, waving Simon step closer. “You’re still warmed-up?”

Simon shrugs, “Yeah, I went through it again while you were outside.” Raphael gives him a surprised look, so he adds, “I had to keep myself busy, hadn’t I?”

“Huh,” Raphael makes, breaking into a small smile. “Good thinking. … Ready?”

Simon nods and then Raphael starts to play again.

 

_There's a girl in the backyard bangin' on her drum_   
_Sittin' in a junk pile laughing at the sun_   
_Singin', "Ah ha ha, I just wanna be a rockstar."_

Simon’s halfway expecting him to sing the second stanza - after all, it’s pretty much a duet in the original, too, and Raphael seems to enjoy singing just as much as playing. But this is Simon’s training, so it makes sense to have him sing the whole song. And also, he doubts that Raphael could have memorized the words and accords at the same time, so he continues singing.

Naturally, they’re missing the drums for the next parts, but Raphael makes it sound more aggressive at the right parts to fix that issue.

 

_If there's a meaning can you show me a sign?_   
_The more I look it just gets harder to find_   
_The world is spinnin' and I wanna know why_

_And maybe we will never figure it out_   
_I got a feelin' that's what life's all about_   
_I'm learning anything is possible now_

 

Raphael’s playing gets softer again at the last verses of the song, gracefully moving his hands closer together again. The way they do it, the song’s ending would probably be way too abrupt, seeing how it usually has a guitar solo at the end, but Raphael improvises enough to make it sound appropriately.

“So?”, Simon asks when they’re finished, his breathing a little bit faster.

“You’re better.”, Raphael states. “You can hold notes longer without getting all squeaky, even though you didn’t perfectly nail it.”

That’s something that Raphael has already told him as much when they’ve gone through _You Are My Sunshine_ countless times and Simon’s failed less and less times. But it’s good to know that his improvement is not just limited to a children’s song.

“The break’s over in a few minutes, so I’d call it a day.”, Raphael proposes and closes the piano lid loudly.

“Yeah, uh, sure!”, Simon says quickly, snapping out of his thoughts. “Thank you?”

Raphael gives him a look that could be interpreted as either _Literally Don’t Mention It_ or _What For?_ so Simon hurries over to his bag to avoid having his head ripped off. For some reason, Raphael really doesn’t appreciate Simon thanking him - and at the same time, Simon can’t stop because he has no other way of appreciating what Raphael does since he won’t let him repay him.

He hears an audible sigh when Raphael gets up, slinging his own bag over one shoulder. As he walks to the door with firm steps, he calls over his shoulder, “See you tomorrow, Simon.”

And Simon can’t help but smile - Raphael rarely ever utters his name without a tone of annoyance, so this is unfamiliar. But it’s good, he decides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
>  _¿Ponlo?_ \- Play it?
> 
>  
> 
> **Featured songs:**  
> [A Great Big World - Rockstar](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtROijZqCb8)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not to be that person but _boy_ was that scene in the latest ep my kink.

“Can you dance?”, Raphael wants to know.

It's their lunch break again and they're seated in the choir room, Raphael on his usual place at the piano and Simon on one of the chairs. With Raphael saying that he'll eat in Home Ec later, his initial worries about keeping him from that are gone.

Simon shrugs. “Depends on the style.”, he answers. “I mean, I took some lessons on classic dances and I've tried to teach myself some breakdance…”

“Which classics?”

“Uh, the Waltz for starters?”

“Good.”, Raphael nods and turns to face the keys. Almost immediately he begins to play a tune that sounds vaguely familiar to Simon. “Show me.”

Simon stares at him. His classes have been some time ago and apart from Clary, who'd been his partner, nobody has ever seen him try to make sense out of it. He knows that The Clan (he still doesn't understand why the club’s called like that but when he's asked, Raphael’s just told him to “accept it, Simon, it's called a tradition”. He guesses Raphael doesn't know either.) focuses on participating in tournaments, but somehow he hadn't figured that this also includes _dancing_.

Instead of saying that, though, because Raphael would probably just roll his eyes at his stupidity, he says, “Alone? Don't you need a partner for that?”

Raphael sighs in response and stops playing. Simon feels disappointed for a moment because it was such a nice sound, but then Raphael pulls out his phone and starts playing the same song. He places it on the piano before standing up and walking up to Simon, holding up his arms. “Here.”, he sighs.

Simon stares at him.

“ _Dios_ , don't be such an idiot, _bebé_.”, Raphael hisses and does roll his eyes now. He reaches out for Simon’s hands and places the right one on his back before taking the other one firmly into his own. “Now, _a ver._ ”

Truth be told, it feels weird to be that close to Raphael. Sure, there's still enough space between them to fit an other person, but it's a fact that _he's touching Raphael_ and that _Raphael’s hand is placed on his arm_. He feels panic for a second but then he sees the almost disinterested look on the other's face and decided to roll with it.

He remembers the steps, of course, considering the Waltz isn't actually that complicated. He takes a step forward, but somehow Raphael doesn't do his part and Simon almost steps on his toes.

When he looks up at him, Raphael’s facial expression hasn't changed, so he tries it another time. Again, the same thing.

“Oh, _come on_ , you gotta work with me here.”, Simon whines.

“ _Voy a trabajar contigo cuando realmente haces algo_.”, Raphael says quietly.

“I _am_ doing something!”, Simon protests. “ _You_ keep standing there!”

“That's because you don't _lead_.”, Raphael explains. “You just expect me to know what to do. But, actually, that's also the leader’s part, for most of it.”

If you asked him, Simon would call bullshit on that. He's had classes, for God's sake, and he's never been told that _he_ had to lead Clary. After all, she's known the steps, too, and every so often, he was pulled with her. He'd thought that dancing was, well, a dance where there's an exchange of skill and power.

Raphael lets out a noise that's somewhere between a sigh and a groan. He lifts his hand and takes Simon’s off his back, instead leading it up to rest on his arm, just above the elbow. The next second, his own is placed on Simon’s shoulder blade. “ _Mira esto._ ”

Okay, so, while dancing, Raphael’s pulled him a bit closer instead of just placing his hand there. When he takes a step forward, he pushes his other hand and thus Simon’s entire left half into the same direction (or, in Simon’s case backwards), making him follow the step without having him think about it. Raphael’s movements are gentle and yet they have the wished effect.

Simon's eyes widen at the realisation and he can see a smug smirk appear on Raphael’s face.

“Well, that only works because I know the steps.”, Simon tries to rescue the rest of his dignity.

“ _Oh_?”, Raphael asks, raising an eyebrow. “Hang on.”

He lets go off Simon and steps back to the piano. The next song he chooses is faster and Simon has no clue how you dance to it.

This time Raphael’s grip is firmer, his arm basically draped around Simon’s back. Their bodies are actually touching right now and Simon can feel the cross of Raphael’s necklace press against his chest.

Simon barely notices how he takes small steps equal to Raphael’s and how they turn as they dance, instead he's concentrated on how Raphael’s eyes capture the music, somehow, without moving an inch. Raphael’s holding his gaze and Simon can see faint wrinkles at the corner of his eyes as his smirk grows wider.

They dance for the whole song this time, the Spanish lyrics filling the silence between them.

Once it ends, they part and Simon can see that Raphael’s breathing has gotten faster, too, even if it's only barely in contrast to his own.

“What was that?”, Simon breathes as he sits back onto a chair. There's only a bit of his drink left in the bottle and he looks at it in dismay before downing it.

“Dancing, you should give it a try.”, Raphael answers and sits down again, too.

“Haha.”

“That was a Quickstep. It actually counts to one of the standard dances, too.”, Raphael tells him and picks up his own bottle. When he's closed it, he throws it towards Simon who catches it thankfully.

Simon takes a sip of the water before gasping for more air. “Where'd you learn that?”

Raphael shrugs. “I used to go to a studio. Friends of mine own it now, so I avoid it as much as possible.”, he adds with a small grin.

It's a good look for Raphael, actually. Cheeks a little red from the dance and an honest expression on his face for once. Simon hopes to see more of it.

The phone has played on with another song as they've sat down, a slightly slower song in English this time, and now Raphael gets up to turn it off.

“Break’s almost over.”, he announces. “We'll continue with the dancing tomorrow. Your singing is okay enough for the club, but the fact that _you can't move_ \--”

“I _can_ move!”, Simon protests.

“Well, then show me tomorrow.”, Raphael orders. He nods at the bottle in Simon’s hand, “Keep that. You look like you could still use it.”

Simon nods at him in thanks and wishes him a nice rest of the day. In return, Raphael tells him to practice more and not forget about their Spanish homework, even though it's not even a partner task.

 

-

 

Simon rings up Magnus’ number before he's even home. During his last period, he came to think that if there's one person who could help him, it'd be him.

“Sherman,” Magnus greets and from the sound of it, he must be talking via speakerphone. “How are you?”

Now, Simon is not exactly a drama queen but he knows that, if there's one thing that makes Magnus pay proper attention to you, it's exaggerations. “ _Miserable_.”, he tells him with a long sigh.

“Oh, honey, we all miss you, too.”, Magnus tells him warmly. “In fact, I hope you're free this weekend because I was thinking about planning a little get-together at mine.”

‘Get-together’ in Magnus’ case means a party more often than it doesn't - Simon can't blame him because when you're a _High Schooler_ who lives on his own, that's bound to happen. In the year that they've known one another, Simon hasn't found out why he doesn't live with his parents, but it must be something pretty ugly or else he'd talk about it. The only other thing that Simon knows is that he's got held back a year, but that's it.

“Oh, that sounds cool! I'm in.”, Simon says quickly. “But actually, I'm calling about something else.”

“Huh?”

“I, uh, can you teach me some dance moves?”

“ _Dance moves_?”, Magnus repeats. “I thought you weren't in the Glee club yet? Are you joining the cheerleaders? Let me tell you, as a man it's not as much fun as it sounds.”

“Have _you_ been a cheerleader?”

Magnus snorts. “What haven't I been? But don't change the topic. I could have time on Friday--”

“Actually, uh, today would be best.”, Simon tells him.

“Today?”, Magnus says and Simon can almost see the raise of his eyebrow in front of his eyes. “Why that?”

Simon sighs before telling him about the fact that Raphael is pretty much training him so he can become a member of the club. He also says that, maybe, he's thought wrong about his own abilities but that he doesn't want to look stupid in front of Raphael now. He already does that enough as it is.

“I can't just teach you in a day.”, Magnus says. “Which style do you even want?”

“Whatever is the easiest.”, Simon responds. Right now, he just needs _something_ that he can show off.

“You owe me for this.”, Magnus tells him firmly.

“Yeah, of course. Whatever you want.”, Simon replies and before Magnus answers, he quickly adds, “Except my _Cable_ comics.”

“You're no fun.”

“Magnus, _please_ .”, Simon begs. “I've heard that you know how Raphael is. Which reminds me, I'd like to hear _that_ story--”

“Yeah, whatever.”, Magnus decides. “Come to my place after school.”

“You're the best!”

“Tell me something I don't already know, Sherrington.”

 

-

 

Simon’s been at Magnus’ place a couple of times before and every time, he is wondering how a High Schooler can have such a huge apartment to himself. A small one-room flat he could've understood but the huge living room with a kitchen included plus extra bedroom just doesn't make sense. But he's decided not to ask, because at first it would have been weird since he barely knew Magnus and nowadays he knows that Magnus would just shut down. There's things you can talk to him about but the fact why and how he lives alone is none of them.

When Magnus opens his door, Simon’s greeted by a welcoming smile and a gesture that tells him to come in. Magnus must've made use of his time waiting for him because all the furniture is shoved against the walls to make enough space in the middle.

“I wanted a little change anyways.”, Magnus tells him cheerfully. “You'll help me with that later.”

“Uh, yeah, of course.”, Simon replies with a nod. He props his bag as close to the wall as possible. “So, what are we doing?”

“First of all, you need to get out of those pants.”, Magnus replies, pointedly looking down at him. “Not an innuendo. I'll get some sweatpants for you.”

Simon frowns as he watches him hurry through the room towards his bedroom and keeps standing where he is. He wonders what the hell Magnus has chosen to teach him because as far a he knows, the other knows his way around every dance style.

When Magnus comes back, he notices that he's also changed into sweatpants. Simon’s never gotten to see _that_ before but, of course, Magnus looks great even in training clothes.

Simon accepts the pair of sweatpants that Magnus hands him and gets to the bathroom to get changed as quickly as he can so that they don't waste more time than absolutely  necessary. If he wants to learn _anything_ today, they have to hurry up.

Magnus has already put on some music when Simon comes back. He recognizes it as a new song by _The Weeknd_ and, truth be told, he’s not really sure if _this_ would be something to impress Raphael.

His scepticism must have been visible because Magnus looks at him sternly, saying, “You wanted something moderately easy until _tomorrow_ , so you better be okay with this.”

Simon sighs. Actually, yes, Magnus is right: he has no right to complain. If Magnus says he’d be best at getting to know this song, he’ll be damned if he doesn’t try.

He motions for Magnus to start showing and regrets it almost immediately. It probably really isn't as complicated as Simon’s head makes it seem, but the fact that Magnus moves _his whole_ body at the same time makes it difficult to find out what to concentrate on.

He knows how Magnus dances, of course, but he's never had to try to _understand_ it. All he's ever done is sit and stare at him in awe. Now, though, he can’t just get lost as he watches but has to look for every bit. He’s sure that Magnus will show him in slow-mo later on, but it’s probably best if he remembers as much as possible.

It actually isn’t the most impressive thing Magnus has ever danced - he must’ve tuned down a little to make it easier for Simon, and yet Simon’s pretty sure he won’t ever be able to pull it off as smoothly. Sure, he won’t break any bones, probably, but he’ll definitely look ridiculous.

Magnus is moving his body swiftly to the music, leaving out the moves he’d usually do like handstands, somersaults or bridges, and simply does things that a normal human should be able to copy. Simon’s not surprised that he’s not even breathing any heavier than usually, but it gives him reason to relax nonetheless. Maybe he’ll survive this.

“That’s just a suggestion,” Magnus tells him. “We can change things, if you want. What’d you say?”

“Let’s do this.”, Simon decides with a nods and gets up from where he’s sat down.

For the rest of the evening, they keep going over each step, each movement of an arm, and reorganizing the routine until Simon gets it more or less. At times Magnus lets out a sigh and says that Simon’s body’s just not made for certain moves ( _yet_ \- apparently he could fix that with training?) and they try to figure out what to do so that he won’t die of embarrassment tomorrow.

In the end, Magnus lets him go through the dance routine on his own, nodding approvingly when he only screws up a few times.

“Remember, you can always improvise when you forget. I trust your musicality enough to do that.”, Magnus tells him.

Simon can’t do anything but smile at him in thanks. Well, that is, if you don’t count the blush creeping up his face. It’s not his fault, really, it’s just that _Magnus_ praising and believing in him about dancing is a really good feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
>  _a ver_ \- let's see  
>  _Voy a trabajar contigo cuando realmente haces algo._ \- I will work with you once you actually do something.  
>  _Mira esto._ \- Watch this.
> 
>  **Referenced songs:**  
> [The Weeknd - Starboy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34Na4j8AVgA)  
>  (Here's the [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ova2_ENLXvI) I used for reference to the dancing, even though my description got rather short because my vocabulary is limited in that area.)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news, guys!  
> I actually finished writing this fic today so I will probably post a new chapter every day from now on (if I have the time to read over those again).

Simon breathes heavily when the song slowly tunes out. He hadn't actually thought he'd manage to do the whole song, but he's actually remembered most of the steps he's learned only yesterday. A couple of times he's seen Raphael look at him with an intense glare while nodding his head to the rhythm. He wonders if Magnus knew Raphael would like the song.

He’d thought yesterday that he’d manage the steps easily but he hadn’t considered then that he’d have to remember them almost a whole day later - he hasn’t even been able to practice them once he got home because his mother hadn’t been too pleased with his disappearance. He’d been glad that Magnus has agreed to drive him home because if he’d had to go by subway, he’d have been even later and then his mum would have grounded him. Now, she’d just taken away his phone and his laptop (AKA the only things he would’ve had to play the song with).

 _And_ he hadn’t considered how it would be to dance under Raphael’s watch. While Simon danced, Raphael has kept his eyes focussed on Simon, showing nothing in them. Not that _Simon_ has been able to watch _him_ as closely, but if Raphael had been _severely_ disappointed, he would’ve been able to tell, probably.

Raphael’s actually the master of pokerfaces, as it seems. When he’s done, Simon can't read in his expression whether he's done well or not.

But then, as he hands him a bottle of water, Raphael finally decides, “Magnus taught you well.”

“What? Who says Magnus taught me!?”, Simon yelps. The whole point of his drive to Magnus’ place yesterday was so that Raphael would think _Simon_ could dance! Has Magnus told Raphael that he’s helped him?

“I know how Magnus dances.”, Raphael tells him. He doesn’t seem to know that Magnus taught him _only yesterday_. “You see, of course, most hip-hop dancers use every part of their body in a performance. But Magnus has always been fond of letting his hands take the lead. And that's what he showed you.”

“... How do you know that?”

Raphael rolls his eyes. “We used to go to the same dance studio.”

“The one you mentioned before?”, Simon recalls. Apparently, the teachers at that studios must have been Gods of Dance or something, considering how good Magnus is _at every style_ and how good Raphael seemed to be at classics.

“Yeah,” Raphael nods, “It closed down, but as I said, some people who learnt there opened their own. Maybe I should take you there.”

“Oh, that-- uh, that’d be very nice!”, Simon says quickly. “I guess I do need all the help I could get, huh?”

“Well, one half song is not really impressive.”, Raphael nods.

“So, er, not everyone uses their hands as much as Magnus does?”

“No,” Raphael says. “Some shuffle much more.”

“But that doesn’t fit to every song, does it?”, Simon wants to know. From what he knows, shuffling looks cool at times - when it’s done at, like, one point in a song. Otherwise it looks ridiculous.

“I don’t necessarily mean that one style where you stay in one spot. Sometimes it’s more like…”

Simon has barely got the time to direct his eyes down at Raphael’s feet as he moves. They move wider apart from each other, then close again, moving his whole body to the side and back - it looks like he must’ve gotten knots into his legs while moving so much within that short time. Seriously, it looks like he doesn’t even have bones! Simon can’t help but gape at him.

“Like that,” Raphael closes. He sounds casual, but there’s a smile tugging at his lips.

“ _Fanfarrón_.”, Simon snorts.

“I’ve been taught to not sell myself short.”

Simon considers to make a joke about his height, but decides that that probably wouldn’t be his wisest decision. After all, he still needs Raphael to get better at… well, everything. Also, generally speaking, he’d like it if Raphael neither killed nor hated him.

“Well, that’s a good advice.”, he says instead.

“You want to send my mother a _Thank You_ card?”, Raphael offers. “Anyway, for that advice to work, you’d need _skills_. Maybe you should try to get some.”

“I thought that was what-- Oh, alright I get it. So, considering I just almost died, showing you I can dance, what will we do today?”

Raphael smiles at him in approval, probably because he got the hint. He counts that as a win. “Sing.”

Simon would’ve never guessed he’d groan at the prospect of getting to sing, but well, this is a class after all, and Raphael is a really strict teacher. For all he knows, he’ll be doing warm-ups until the break is over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
>  _Fanfarrón._ \- Show-off.
> 
> Raphael's impromptu dance is something along the lines of the one David did [here](https://www.instagram.com/p/BMzBzUkDUW7/?taken-by=d.l.castro).


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is featuring a song by George Michael and _kind of_ makes fun of it. It's not meant in a harmful way, but if you can't stomach it, I advise that you leave it be for now.  
>  I've actually written it the very night before they announced his death :( Rest in Peace, George.

It almost feels like Simon’s never left the Institute. As he walks with Clary from her home to the subway station to get to Magnus’ place, they laugh and chatter just as much as they'd have done if they kept seeing each other all the time. The glee club hasn't done many parties, mostly so because they already started fighting during the assemblies often enough as it's been. 

It's actually cute of Magnus to organise something like this just because Simon's transferred. 

“So, is Meliorn in the club now?”,  Simon wants to know once they're settled in the subway. He's been wondering whether being serenaded in public makes you fond of glee club or not. 

“Uh, actually I don't know.”, Clary admits. “At this point he's pretty much like Alec, I guess - like, he’s at practice every time but doesn’t participate... but I  _ think _ he could dance if he wanted to?”

“He’s got that body.”, Simon agrees with a firm nod. He supposes that, technically, Alec should probably be able to dance, too, considering that he’s got that tall and lean body plus enough self-control to move it appropriately - much in contrast to Simon, for example. And yet, the most Alec’s ever done to actually do something during practice is to criticize their song choices. Most of the time, he’s just waiting for either Magnus or his siblings so that they can drive home together. If asked, he’ll just say he “doesn’t have time for that”, which is confusing when you consider they don’t even have to practice anything at home. He’s chilling around for the practice anyway, so why not join?

But well, it’s not like it’s ever been Simon’s part to judge anything Alec decides to do, so he lets it slide.

Right now, he can feel his smile grow wider the longer they stay in the subway. Usually the filled waggons and the smell of either mixtures of the weirdest foods or vomit would have bothered him, but right now it’s just making him feel like he’s home. 

Because after all, he’s still Brooklyn born and raised.

Not that Harlem is much cleaner of anything, but still, it’s  _ different _ . In Harlem, he doesn’t know the streets like he’s never done anything else in his life than walk through them. He doesn’t have memories of where he broke his arm for the first time, where Clary has done her first graffito, where the best place to hide is when jocks want to beat you up for no reason. All of that’s what he’s lived through in Brooklyn and he  _ misses _ it.

“I miss you,” Clary says all of sudden.

Simon looks up to see her smile at him with a soft expression in her eyes. She must have been watching him. “I miss you, too. I miss everything, actually, but most of all that we’re not around each other all the time any more.”

“Aw,” Clary makes and wraps her arm around his, placing her head on his shoulder. “It feels weird to not have you around… Empty.”

“Well, at least you have the others. It can’t be  _ that _ bad.”

As an answer, Simon earns a slap against the back of his head. “It’s still not  _ you _ .”, Clary tells him with - almost angry - sincerity. “But,  _ yes _ , I do have the others. You must feel terribly lonely--”

“It’s okay,” Simon tells her quickly. It’s not like he’s had many classes with her or the others, actually, and since he’s keeping himself busy, he barely notices. Sure, it’s still not the same and he’d like it better if he’d had his friends around, but he manages. “Raphael helps.”, he shrugs.

At that, Clary gets that look in her eyes. It’s almost like her eyes start to shine - and Simon knows that it means nothing but trouble. The last time she'd looked like that, Jocelyn had grounded them  _ both _ . Which is admirable, considering he doesn’t even live under her roof.

“Does he?”, she smiles - or rather, grins diabolically.

“Uh, yeah,” Simon answers, “I mean, I can  _ sing _ thanks to him. Keeps me busy.”

“Oh, I bet he does.”

He blinks at her, slowly realizing what she’s getting at. He considers whether to say it’s nothing like that, but then he’d lie once again and  _ well _ , Simon  _ really _ is a bad liar. And also, he blushes really easily. That wouldn’t work out. So instead, he hushes her. “Can we, like, not talk about this in a crowded subway?”

_ Crowded _ is hardly the right word since there’s enough place for everyone to stand comfortably, but Clary agrees anyway. “But you didn’t deny it.”, she notes.

“Ah, shut it.”, Simon tells her with a grin. “I’m an open book.”

“Yeah, you are.”

 

-

 

Simon’s not surprised when it’s Alec who opens the flat to Magnus’ door. Not just because the party’s already started and Magnus is probably busy with pleasing his guests, but simply because Alec must be there so often that one could think he lives there, too. Simon guesses he probably would if he could. 

“Hello,” Alec says politely, his face wearing a neutral expression. “Good to see you’re alive, Simon.”

“That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Simon points out before he can stop himself. To his surprise, a corner of Alec’s mouth twitches at that. 

He waves them inside and Simon has to note down that the crowd is not as big as he’d expected. He’d say it’s roughly twenty people, give or take a few, that are spread out in Magnus’ living room.

“Oh, very clever.”, Simon comments as he looks around. He supposes that a small part of him has already known that something was odd about that party, but some wishful thinking has persuaded him that it's actually been planned for him to spend some more time with his old friends. 

He only knows two members of The Clan - well, maybe some more sit in his classes but he wouldn't know  _ who's _ actually a member because they're  _ such _ a secret club that he's only certain about Raphael, of course, and Lily who'd he'd first seen. 

So, when he sees Lily discussing something with Izzy while sitting on Magnus’ couch, it's clear that  _ their _ glee club is not the only one to show up. Well, he guesses that this is the point where he learns who's in the DuMort’s club. 

“It's actually been Jace’s idea.”, Clary tells him. “He wouldn't admit it, but he wanted to check if you'll be in good hands.”

Simon can’t help but be touched by that. He could pretend to be angry about Jace, or well, probably them all, sticking their heads into something that’s none of their concern. But, actually, thinking about it, it is. They’re friends, after all, and friends make sure their friends aren’t gonna end up joining a club full of assholes.

“Well, then,” Simon nods and looks at her at last. He notices that Alec must’ve disappeared again right away. “Let’s get to know about that then, huh?”

He’s actually expected her to drag him towards Izzy, so he’s mentally prepared to properly talk to Lily for once, but to his relief they make their way to the kitchen at first. They meet Jace there, who’s just been getting a drink, and chat a little with him, filling their own cups until they suddenly hear some loud cheers from the living room.

“My money is on a fight.”, Jace smirks, an excited sparkle in his eyes.

Clary rolls her eyes at that and suggests that they go look which is actually what Simon’s intended to do anyway. Jace practically jumps out of the door at that.

When they almost walk into him because he stopped walking shortly after even  _ getting _ into the living room, he makes a disappointed noise. The couches (that Simon has spent hours to put into a place that Magnus had approved) have been shoved further towards the main entrance and a cluster of people is standing in front of it, facing the TV. 

Magnus is standing in front of it and making gestures to calm his guests down which works only moderately - some of them only cheer even louder.

Simon looks at Clary shortly, gaining a nod in return. It’s been a long time since they’ve needed words in situations like this. They just walk over to join the crowd and get a better look at what Magnus is doing, leaving Jace behind. He’s probably disappointed about there being no blood any way.

The screen behind Magnus is currently showing nothing but a bright purple colour, giving him some kind of freaky halo since he’s standing directly in front of it. He’s grinning widely and apparently enjoying the attention.

“Since we - that means, Glee club members! - are all gathered here, I would think it’d be appropriate if we were to sing a little karaoke!”, he announces. Since he’s already holding a microphone in his hands to be audible over everyone’s chatter, there’s no point in arguing with him. A few people even cheer at that. “And seeing that I’m this party’s host, I will start.”, he adds with a grin.

There’s a small laughter going through the party guests as he turns around to start a song. A few seconds later, he’s facing everyone again, his back illuminated by the screen which, apparently, he doesn’t need. 

Simon’s never really seen Magnus perform, as he notices now. Sure, the other is the star dancer of their Glee club, so he’s gotten to see him move  _ to _ music quite a lot, but never has he seen him hold a microphone like that and never has he heard him sing. And God, he’s - of course - never been able to deny that Magnus is hot, but  _ now _ it’s even  _ worse _ . 

Because the thing is: On top of being dressed so well and hit by the light just right and the way his hips swing to the music and whatnot, Magnus  _ can _ sing.

 

_ That's all I wanted _

_ Something special something sacred in your eyes _

_ For just one moment to be bold and naked at your side _

 

“Do you know that song?”, Clary mutters close to his ear.

Simon shakes his head curtly, unable to take his eyes off Magnus. The whole time he’d thought that Magnus was  _ merely _ a dancer (that is, if you could even say it like that) but now he sees that he’s got the whole package going down. He flirts with his audience at the same time, smiling and twirling to the music and just seeming to enjoy it the whole time.

 

_ I will be your father figure _

_ Put your tiny hand in mine _

_ I will be your preacher teacher _

_ Anything you have in mind _

 

Magnus singing is good, really, but the audience just loses it when he  _ winks _ at Alec during the chorus. 

“Does, uh-- Does Alec have a  _ daddy kink _ ?”, Simon shrieks, directed at Clary.

“Er, I mean, Magnus  _ is  _ older than him. But only, like, two years.”, she shrugs. Then her expression turns into a cringe. “ _ Anyway _ , there’s things I’d rather think about than which kinks my girlfriend’s brother may have.”

“Okay, understandable.”, Simon says. He decides then to continue enjoying Magnus’ performance without thinking about  _ anything _ \- not that Magnus keeps gesturing at Alec at the  _ worst _ times or that he looks really good in his skinny jeans. That would really be weird to think about because, well, Magnus is taken and way out of Simon’s range plus a friend, so yeah. Weird.

When the song’s over, Magnus bows to the applause and takes up the mic once more to announce, “You may fight for this machine now, I have elsewhere to be. Just don’t break anything.”

As it turns out,  _ elsewhere _ actually means Alec’s arms - or rather, his lips. Magnus’ barely made his way through everyone who was trying to tell him what a great performance it’s been when he pulls his boyfriend closer in a kiss. It’s actually a very heated one, so soon enough everyone looks away again to give them their space. It’s no surprise that both of them have disappeared only a few minutes later.

Simon doesn’t even register who claims the microphone next because someone touches his elbow lightly, making him turn. To his surprise it’s Raphael who grants him a small smile as his eyes wide.

“Hey,” he says in a way of greeting, “Somehow I should’ve figured you’d be here, huh?”

“Probably.”, Simon nods. Out of the corner of his eyes he can see that Clary’s raised an eyebrow at him. “Hey, uh, Raphael, meet Clary, my best friend.”, he says and nods into her direction.

And Raphael, being the way that he is, actually extends his hand to shake hers. “Pleasure to meet you.”

“You too! I’ve heard lots about you.”, she cheers at which Simon  _ really _ has to keep himself from facepalming right there. 

Raphael gives Simon a look that’s both asking and teasing and Simon quickly looks down to the floor which may not be his best choice because that means he can’t see what faces Clary may shoot at Raphael. 

He doesn’t know for how long he’s been staring at his shoes when someone clearing their throat makes him look up again. Raphael’s wearing a smirk when their eyes meet. 

“Clary’s gone to look for, uh, Iz?”, he offers when Simon frowns at his best friend’s absence. 

“Ah, yeah. That’s her girlfriend.”, Simon explains. He doesn’t know if he should be glad or pissed that she’s left him alone with Raphael. Well, as alone as you can be in a totally packed flat. 

“I see.”, Raphael nods. “Do you have any idea what this party is supposed to be? Because from what I can see, Magnus has invited pretty much the entire Clan.”

“Uh, well,” Simon starts and plays with the loose thread of his jacket. “It’s actually kinda because of me?”

Raphael raises an eyebrow. “Is it your birthday?”

“No.”

“ _ Explícalo _ ,” Raphael demands. “Please.”

“God, this is weird. I mean-- actually it’s kinda sweet? But, uh,  _ apparently _ , Jace - one of the guys from my old club? - has decided that it would be appropriate to check out you guys if I wanted to become a member of the Clan.”, Simon explains. “If you’re nice enough and stuff.”

“Really? That’s a bit extra but… sweet, indeed.”, Raphael agrees. “And what do they think so far?”

“I have no idea if they were even going to tell me,” Simon says. He could imagine that his friends would just try to talk him out of joining the Clan without giving any real reason if they did not approve - which would, of course, fail but they’d do it that way nonetheless. “But I haven’t even properly gotten to talk to anyone. Clary and I had kinda forgotten about the time earlier, so we’ve been late.”

“Hm,” Raphael makes, letting his eyes wander through the room. “I didn’t mean to keep you from your friends--”

“You aren’t!”, Simon quickly says, “Besides, we’re also-- we’re kind of friends, right?”

“I suppose.”, Raphael says. The wording of his answer could seem nonchalant, but he’s smiling as he says it - which makes Simon’s heart flutter slightly. “Do you even know any of the Clan members?”

“Uh, I’ve seen Lily a couple of times? And I think one or two share a class with me.”, Simon shrugs. 

“Well, I guess this will be the perfect opportunity for you to meet some of the guys.”, Raphael offers and grabs his wrist, pulling Simon with him. 

Logically speaking, this is not the closest that they’ve been.  _ Hell _ , it’s not even an intimate gesture or position to be in. And yet Simon feels his cheeks heat up as he hurries after Raphael. 

Seeing how there’s only the two Glee clubs present, one of them only consisting of about seven people, they wouldn’t have to  _ look _ for someone of the Clan. But apparently Raphael insists on him meeting the three people who’ve formed a group in the corner of the room - he recognizes Lily, who stands there with two other boys.

“Oh, Raphael, there you are!”, Lily smiles. It only falters slightly when she sees Simon, “Hello.”

“You remember Simon?”, Raphael says and raises the hand that’s still holding onto Simon’s arm. When he lets it sink again, he also lets go off him. 

Lily nods. “Yeah, good to see you.”

“You too.”

“Simon, those are Stan and Elliott.”, Raphael gestures at each of them as a way of introduction. “Stan’s the third head of the Clan and Elliott’s just… Elliott.”

The darker-skinned boy of the two pouts at that, raising his index finger at Raphael. “Okay, first of all,  _ rude _ . Second, who’s Simon?”, he adds, blinking at him.

“I, uh, I’m--”, Simon starts, unsure what to say. Would it be weird if he just told them he wants to become a member of their club? Could partying with the Heads be seen as manipulating his audition next year?

“He’s transferred to the DuMort recently. I thought it was time he got to meet a few people.”, Raphael saves him. 

“He your boyfriend?”, Stan wants to know and takes a sip of his drink.

Raphael lets out a small chuckle and Simon’s glad that it’s only that at least instead of him doing that barky laugh that he does when he thinks something is  _ really _ funny. “No, he isn’t. Also, he’s right here, so if you want to know anything, you could also ask him.”

“Right, sorry.”, Stan says, turning to Simon. “Are you Raphael’s boyfriend?”

Before Simon can even start to stumble over his words, the entire group just groans at him. This time it’s Simon’s part to chuckle - out of relief. And also, because he’s surprised about them being so, well, human. He hasn’t had many interactions with people from the DuMort and while he’s getting along with Raphael just fine, the other’s been pretty serious usually. So seeing him around friends is quite a sight.

“Okay,  _ fine _ ,” Stan sighs, “I’ll go grab some new drinks. Coke alright with everyone?” He doesn’t even wait for an answer before he vanishes into the direction of the kitchen.

“Ignore Stan,” Elliott tells Simon, “He’s just a dick sometimes.”

“Huh, alright.”, Simon makes, a bit confused as to what’s just happened.

“So,  _ Magnus Bane _ was in your old club?”, Lily wants to know. She must’ve guessed that, with Magnus’ saying they’re all Glee club members, and Simon not being in The Clan, that he’s belonging to the others in some way.

Simon’s a little puzzled at her reaction. The way she says Magnus’ name is in some kind of awe, but somehow also annoyance. It makes Simon be a little bitchy. “Nah,  _ he’s _ still in it.”

“Well, yeah, that’s what I meant.”

“I gotta say, I was surprised when Bane invited us. Thought after that whole thing… Guess he’s still friends with you, huh, Raphael?”, Elliott continues.

Raphael shrugs. “We talk every now and then. Hasn’t been that much recently, but that’s no surprise.”

“It really isn’t.”, Elliott nods.

“What-- What’s been up with Magnus and you guys?”

“Uh, well, it’s--”, Lily starts and looks at Raphael, a short look of uncertainty passing from her.

Raphael sighs and opens his mouth to answer but is cut off by a loud shout from the karaoke machine. 

“Chen! Santiago! You two better get your asses onto the floor!”, Stan’s voice hollers through the speakers that are spread across the room.

Simon raises an eyebrow. “How much exactly has he had to drink?”

“Not that much. He’s quite the dom by nature.”, Elliott says dryly before addressing his friends, “I suppose this screams for a performance.”

Neither Raphael or Lily seem to care about Stan keeping talking and shouting for them until the music starts playing. It’s a fast, steady rhythm and after the first few beats, Lily’s eyes go wide.

“Oh,” she makes, looking at Raphael. “He’s  _ awful _ .”

“There’s not enough space.”, Raphael simply says, nodding at the crowd.

“Why, they’ll make space once you start.”, Elliott says and places a hand on a shoulder of each of them. Simon has no clue what they’re even talking about until he adds, “It’s not like you two would ever miss a good Rock’n’Roll.”

At that, Simon shoots a surprised look at Raphael - sure, he’s learned by now that Raphael knows all kinds of dances, apparently, but  _ Rock’n’Roll _ ? That’s different from both Hip-Hop and Standards. 

He can’t voice his surprise, though, because in the next moment the two of them rush towards the crowd, making their way through it. Stan laughs when he sees them and tells the audience to move away before he finally starts to sing.

 

_ Hey baby won't you take a chance? _

_ Say that you'll let me have this dance _

 

Simon watches as Lily and Raphael, two people whom he’d have described as “having a stick up their asses” from what he’s known, twist each other around, jumping as they move their bodies closer and apart again. They laugh while they do so, never breaking eye contact as they move to the music.

They look like they’ve done this a thousand times before, completely lost in their laughter and dance. It’s nice to see them enjoy it so much, even though Simon can’t help but have an unnecessary thought come up to him.

“Hey,” he starts, making Elliott tear his eyes off the pair, “Are they together?”

Elliott laughs at that. “Oh, no. They aren’t. Believe me, they aren’t.”

“Ah, okay.”, Simon makes. “They’re good.”

“I know, right? It’s like they really sought and found each other.”, Elliott nods.

They continue to watch them dance to Stan’s singing - it’s not bad, of course, just different than the original. His voice is younger than the original and not in the manier of the 60s, but it sounds nice. 

They people who are watching along seem to be thinking the same, because a few of them start swaying in their place - seeing how there’s mostly people from the Clan, Simon guesses they are used to the sight and know better than to try to get onto the dancefloor as well. 

 

_ But let's dance, well let's dance _

_ We'll do the twist, the stomp, the mashed potato too, _

_ Any old dance that you wanna do _

_ But let's dance, well let's dance _

 

As the song tunes out, their dancing gets slower until they stop completely, standing in the middle of the empty spot and panting heavily. They’re next to each other, hands joined as they actually  _ bow _ to the applause of the crowd. Simon wishes he could roll his eyes at that, but Raphael is grinning widely, a happy one that Simon’s never seen him wear before and he decides to cherish that sight.

“You're show-offs, every single one of you!”, Elliott says when the pair and Stan get back to them. He's grinning, though, so Simon knows it's meant more as teasing than anything else. 

Lily sticks out her tongue at him before breaking into a laughter. 

When Raphael stops walking in front of him, Simon says, “You know, I might just take up your offer about checking out that studio.”

Raphael huffs. “You definitely  _ should _ . Hm, since Stan never made it to the kitchen, I'll go grab some drinks.  _ Ayúdame a llevar _ .”

“Uh, yeah, of course.”, Simon says but Raphael’s already turned around to make his way through the crowd again. In the kitchen there's a couple making out but they quickly leave when Raphael tells them to. Simon guesses that they know better than to argue with the scowl that he's been using. They hurry out of the room and Raphael leans against the counter, sighing heavily. 

“You okay?”, Simon asks, worried when he sees how tired Raphael looks. 

“Yeah, sure.”, Raphael says, opening his eyes again. “I can't wait to get home, though.”

“Not a fan of parties?”, Simon wants to know and takes fives cups out of the cupboard. 

“It's okay when you know people.”, Raphael says. “It's just-- I've come here after work, so I barely had a moment to myself today.”

“Hm,” Simon makes. He hadn't even known that Raphael  _ had _ work. He supposes it can't be that much of a difficult job, seeing how he's a High Schooler, but still - work is work. He must be exhausted. “I could leave.”

“Don't be daft. If I wanted to be alone, I wouldn't have told you to come with.”, Raphael says firmly. “I think I'll go home soon.”

“That's probably a good idea. Like, not that I  _ want _ you to leave but if you're tired and--”

“How do you like the others?”

Simon blinks at him. “Uh, well, I've only shortly talked to them, but they seem nice?” He considers adding that they seem cheerful, too cheerful actually to be friends with Raphael, but he supposes that they must've drunk something already. Maybe they're usually more put together. 

Raphael nods, a thoughtful expression on his face. “That's good. You should get along with all of the group, of course, when you get into the club, but it can't hurt to be on the Heads’ good side.”

Simon can't exactly argue with that. He still doesn't know how exactly the club’s organisation works, but it's never done any harm to have contacts to someone at the top of something. So instead of saying anything, he hums in agreement. 

He looks up from the drinks he'd been preparing when Raphael grabs his arm. 

“No shot for me.”, Raphael tells him and Simon puts the bottle of vodka down. 

“Don't drink?”

Raphael nods. “Besides, Magnus would flip if he saw me with alcohol.”

“Because he's known you since you were a baby or something?”

“Since I was twelve, if you must know.”, Raphael rolls his eyes. Simon’s not sure if Raphael is older than him, but it would mean at least four years which… is a lot. Of course, it's nothing in contrast to him and Clary, but it is a long time nonetheless. “And yeah, it's one of the reasons.”

He doesn't seem to want to talk about the other reasons, so Simon drops it. Someone who doesn't drink doesn't need to justify their reasons anyway, so it would be unnecessary for him to keep asking. He hands Raphael his coke and one of the other cups, telling him again which of them is which and then they leave the kitchen.

Raphael stays for one more hour or so and Simon stays with him and his group for as long. He's said that Simon doesn't have to stay there just because he'd dragged him there earlier, but actually it's nice to talk to other people for once. Since he transferred, he's practically only talked to Raphael in school and maybe one or two of his old friends on the weekend. And while Lily, Stan, Elliott and Raphael seem to have quite a lot of inside jokes, they make sure to include Simon into their conversation so that he wouldn't just stand there and look stupid. They're nice and Simon guesses that if the rest of the club is only slightly similar to them, he could really enjoy his time there. 

If he ever gets in, that is. 

Raphael’s friends don't even try to get him to stay longer when he says he's heading home - Simon wonders if they're just decent as that or if they've had arguments about that, but it's nice to know they respect him enough to let him go. 

“Uh, see you on Monday.”, Simon says when Raphael's said his goodbye. “ _¿_ _ Descansa un poco _ ?”

Raphael rolls his eyes. “ _ Ese era el plan _ .”

“Good.”, Simon smiles. 

Then Raphael turns to look for Magnus to tell him he's leaving and Simon's left alone with three people he doesn't really know. 

Sure, they're nice and he's enjoyed talking to them, but now that his safety net (read: Raphael) is gone, he feels quite awkward to be standing there with them. He guesses that it wouldn't hurt if he were to look for  _ his _ friends, so he tells them as much and gets a few nods in return. 

He's glad when he finds Clary and Izzy seated on a couch and sinks down next to them despite them heavily making out. Even that is making him feel less awkward in his skin right now, simply because he's used to it. 

He watches as Magnus accompanies Raphael towards the door. They discussing something, as it seems, but it doesn't seem to be too serious since they just drop it when Raphael opens the door. To Simon's surprise, they actually hug. 

Neither Raphael nor Magnus have mentioned that they were particularly close and seeing how Raphael hadn't even hugged his co-Heads, Simon guesses that they must be. It throws him off a little but he decides that (at least for now)  it's none of his business. 

Instead, he curls deeper into the couch and starts looking at the people around him. He doesn't feel like talking to any of them, but sometimes you can get an opinion of people from their behaviour at parties. 

He also hopes that Clary doesn't want to stay until the end of the party. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
>  _Explícalo_ \- Explain  
>  _Ayúdame a llevar._ \- Help me carry.  
>  _¿Descansa un poco?_ \- Get some rest?  
>  _Ese era el plan._ \- That was the plan.
> 
>  
> 
> **Featured songs:**  
> [George Michael - Father Figure](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGpBUCjH950)  
> [Chris Montez - Let's Dance](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAveLaziBmQ)


	14. Chapter 14

“Hey, Mum,” Simon starts, setting down his fork and knife. “What would you say if I’d date a boy?”

His mother blinks at him, putting down her cutlery as well and folds her hands underneath her chin. After a few seconds she breaks into a small smile. “Honey, you did already come out to me, remember?”

Simon vividly remembers - it’s one of his most cherished memories. He’d been terrified of the idea of explaining his mother that he likes all genders (for which he’s had to explain her that there’s more than two, actually) because, you see, back then he’s been among the people who thought having strict parents equals them being close-minded. But, as it’s turned out, his mother had been more than accepting - it didn’t matter to her if he was to bring home a girl or a boy or someone else as long as he’d be happy and safe (her words).

“Yes, but that’s been all… theoretical. Like, in practice your reaction could be way different.”, Simon offers.

“That’s something that one show put into your head, isn’t it?”, his mum sighs. “I promise you, I wouldn’t mind. That is, as long as he’s nice.”

Okay, so, Simon has a very very small crush on Raphael - he’s come to the realisation during the first week of their training sessions already, if he's honest -, so he’s actually the person who’s prompted this question. Not that Simon even dares to imagine they could ever date, but it’s his first real crush on a boy - which makes his pansexuality act up for the first time (unless you count him thinking about how hot some people are but that’s something _everyone_ does). And if his mind immediately goes to think about whether his mother would consider Raphael as nice, you can’t blame him.

And the thing is, his mum would probably adore Raphael because he’d know how to talk to her. He just seems to have that skill - he may be grumpy, but he’s got charme.

“ _Is_ there a boy?”

Simon snaps out of his thoughts, shaking his head vehemently. If there’s one thing you don’t want to discuss with your mother, it’s you having a crush on a boy way out of your league. She’d make you start to believe that you have a chance and then you’d crash and burn. “Nah, I was just… generally speaking.”

“You’ve never been a good liar.”, Elaine points out, grinning at the blush that creeps up his cheeks at that. “Is it someone from the new school?”

“ _Mum_ , as much as I’d like talking boys with you… I’d actually rather not.”, Simon mumbles. “You’ve never done this to Becky, have you?”

“She’s voluntarily come to me,” she says. “You’ve always been asleep then so of course you wouldn’t know. You should at least tell me if I know the guy.”

“You don’t.”, Simon says curtly and starts eating again. If he keeps busy and finishes quickly, his mum won’t have to interrogate him more.

He’s pretty sure he’s talked to her about Raphael helping him with Glee, so he should probably never mention him again. Ever in his life. Because she’ll just assume that he’s the one (and rightly so) because he’s the only boy whom he would talk about nowadays whom she doesn’t know.

“Ah, that’s so cute.”, she comments and starts eating again, too.

Simon loves her for just leaving it be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The show that Elaine refers to is _The Real O'Neals._


	15. Chapter 15

Simon arrives a little late at Raphael’s home because, well, he still isn’t familiar with the streets thof Harlem _and_ his phone’s data is down so Google Maps wasn’t helpful at all.

He’d actually kind of expected to find Raphael waiting on the porch like a mum would do when her child comes home late - all with arms crossed and tapping his foot, but actually Raphael is nowhere in sight. He _is_ at the right house, though, he sees when he checks for the door bell.

So yes, he’s at the _Casa de Santiago_ and he should probably ring the bell before anyone sees him standing there and calls the cops, but somehow he just… doesn’t. It’s stupid, actually, for his social anxiety to act up now because Raphael has _said_ he should stop by and he _knows_ Raphael but the thing is: He actually doesn’t. Not really, at least. He doesn’t know anything about Raphael’s family, he didn’t even know if they had a whole house or an apartment, and it’s things like that that make him fear that he may go crazy.

But Raphael is expecting him, even if he doesn’t stand outside waiting for him (which makes sense, actually, considering the season), so he’ll probably be the one to open. And maybe they’ll leave right away, because he’s late, and Simon won’t have to meet anyone, who knows?

He takes a deep breath and presses the button. The sound of the bell is simple and audible even from outside, and so is Raphael’s shout.

“Got it!”

The next moment the door is opened and Simon is facing Raphael _who is wearing his hair loose_ . Simon’s actually imagined all kinds of things to find at Raphael’s home, but it’s not the boy with curly hair. Sure, he’s seen his hair without product but then it has been _wet_ and still looked as if it was styled. But now, oh, now it’s just _curls_. It makes him look younger and, frankly, even more like an angel. Simon likes and hates it at the same time.

“Uh, hi.”, Simon says, shooting a glance at Raphael’s face at last.

He must have caught him stare at his hair because Raphael is grimacing, but he doesn’t call him out on it. “You’re late.”, he states, and then he shouts over his shoulder, “It’s Simon!”

And Simon, awkward as he is, smirks. “Talked about me?”

Raphael rolls his eyes. “Hang on, I gotta grab my coat.”

Just like that, Simon is left alone again, facing the wooden door. But, as already established, it doesn’t really dam any sound plus Raphael hasn’t really closed it, so Simon can hear the conversation going on inside.

He guesses that Raphael is talking to his mother, because she’s got quite an accent and orders that he “picks up Franco from training!”

Simon would’ve never guessed that he’d live the day that he sees (or rather, _hears_ ) Raphael act like a real teenager, but he does. He actually starts grinning at that.

“I’m busy! Have Ricardo do it!”

“Ricardo is tutoring until 7.”, Raphael’s mum answers. She owns the same perfect mixture of calmness and annoyance as Raphael does, it’s amazing.

“I told you about this _days_ ago!”, Raphael claims. “I’m showing Simon Ragnor’s studio!”

“Well? Take Franco with you. _No le importara a ese chico tuyo_.”

At that, Raphael makes a really strange noise that sounds somehow like he’s choking and groaning at the same time. “Fine,” he agrees eventually, “See you tonight, _mamá_.”

He actually looks only slightly annoyed when he appears in the door again and fumbles with his keys rather than looking at Simon. “Change of plans,” he announces as he closes the door, “We have to pick up my brother first.”

Simon’s decides that it’s probably for the best to pretend that he didn’t hear anything. “Huh? Okay.”

Raphael starts walking and mumbles something under his breath. Simon’s not really sure what exactly he’s saying because he’s not only a few steps ahead of him but also speaking in rapid Spanish, which makes it quite difficult for Simon. He can guess, though, that he’s complaining about not being able to just go to that dance studio.

He barely catches up with Raphael but once they’re in talking distance, he asks, “So, where are we picking up your brother?”

“Soccer training.”, Raphael says. “Usually, he’d go alone because it isn’t very far, but it’s getting dark earlier nowadays, so my mum doesn’t really like him being on his own.”

“I can’t imagine he’d enjoy having to tag along with us after training.”

“No, he’ll love it.”, Raphael answers with a shrug. “Ragnor always treats him like a puppy.”

Simon has learnt that this Ragnor - the owner of the studio they’re going to - is an old friend of Raphael’s. Apparently they’ve known each other for years, but somehow Simon hadn’t figured that it would extend itself onto his family, too. Somehow it makes him feel like he’s intruding something.

After all, he’s only known Raphael for roughly two months and he’s _persuaded_ him to take him under his wing. He didn’t even do it because he wanted to. Hell, he doesn’t even know why Raphael doesn’t just let it be those lessons during break, why he has to take him to a _friend_. It doesn’t make sense and it throws him off.

But instead of voicing any of these thoughts, Simon asks, “So you have a brother?”

“Three, actually. All younger than me.”, Raphael says. “You?”

“An older sister.”

“Ah, and here I thought you were an only-child.”, Raphael says and for a split second, he smirks.

“Did you? Well, I could say the same thing about you.”

Raphael raises an eyebrow. “Really? Why?”

Simon could probably list a thousand reasons. For starters, Raphael doesn’t look like someone who has to fight about the bathroom with other people in the morning. He’s always looking perfectly put together, like he’s spending hours getting ready. He also doesn’t play the piano like someone who doesn’t have the full attention of his parents.

But then, thinking about it, he remembers how Raphael knows how to deal with someone who has no idea what he’s doing (namely Simon Lewis most of the time) and how patient he is despite easily getting annoyed. Also, it probably explains why Raphael barely manages to do homework at home.

So, actually, it makes sense if you pay attention, but for now Simon just shrugs. “I don’t know.”

Raphael lets it rest at that and they continue their walk to the soccer field mostly in silence. Simon would’ve never thought he’d ever be glad about shutting up, but he is.

 

-

 

“ _Franco_!”

The _scream_ is at Simon’s ear before the door’s even fully closed behind him. From the pitch in the voice, he’d thought it must be a woman shouting, but when he looks up, there’s a tall guy stalking up to them.

Simon would be intimidated - like, not only is the guy taller than him, but he has piercings just above his eyebrows that kinda make it look like he has horns? Maybe Simon’s imagination is running wild - but the way he grins and opens his arms for Raphael’s brother to run at him, hinders him from that.

“See? And _I_ am his friend.”, Raphael mumbles at Simon as they watch Ragnor pick up Franco.

Simon thinks it’s cute actually, Ragnor holding Franco against his side and listening to him as he tells a story with all seriousness. It's especially adorable considering that the jacket that Franco is wearing has ears and eyes to make him look like a dragon.

He’s learnt earlier that Franco is easily excited and talks with big gestures, very unlike his brother. He’d warmed up to Simon pretty easily and even took his hand as they entered the subway to get to the studio.

Ragnor’s attention stays fixed on Franco until he’s finished his story and only then does he look up. “Raph, my man!”, he says cheerfully and pats Raphael’s back shortly. “And who’s this?”

Raphael gives Simon a pointed look, indicating that he should introduce himself.

“Uh, I’m Simon. I-- eh, I go to school with Raphael.”, he says, holding out a hand.

Ragnor shakes it. “Part of the Clan, huh?”

“Er, no, I’m not.”

“Not yet.”, Raphael supplies. “He’ll join next semester. And until then, he really needs to step up his game.”

Simon can’t help but smile at him. It’s getting embarrassing, especially when Ragnor is shooting glances back and forth.

“Alright. What style? You see, me and my partner, we each have our specialties.”, Ragnor tells Simon.

“He’ll need a basis for everything, actually. He claims he’s had classes for standard dances, but it’s basically nothing. Magnus has showed him a few of his moves.”, Raphael states matter-of-factly.

Now, not that Simon doesn’t enjoy having all his flaws being pointed out by Raphael, but he’d appreciate it more if they didn’t act like he wasn’t around. He opens his mouth to remind them that he’s standing right _there_ , but Ragnor picks up his cue before Simon does.

“Magnus Bane? You know Magnus?”

“Yeah, I was in glee with him before I transferred.”, Simon nods.

“Nice,” Ragnor says, grinning widely. “Well, so what moves do you want to start with? Catarina is currently taking a break, if you’re interested in standard, but she’ll be here soon enough.”

Apparently, Franco knows this Catarina because his face lights up and he immediately asks Ragnor about her.

Simon takes the distraction to address Raphael. “I didn’t know this would be solo-training.”

“Well, it doesn’t have to. There are classes.”, Raphael says. “I just figured maybe you’d like to get a look before you make any big decisions.”

It’s actually thoughtful of him not to throw Simon head-first into something he’s unfamiliar with. Jesus, he really should find a way to thank Raphael for all of this.

“So, what is the most important for the club?”, Simon wants to know.

“Hm, free-style, actually. The few steps that would be standards in mash-ups or the like you’d probably figure out by yourself.”, Raphael tells him. “Not that that means you don’t need some education in that department.”

“Thanks a lot.”, Simon mutters but finds himself smiling yet again.

A cough makes him look away from Raphael and he finds Ragnor and Franco stare at them.

“Finished your little personal talk?”

“I was just asking what I should go for!”, Simon defends himself. “Which-- Free-style, I’ve heard.”

“Cool. Are you warmed up already?”

“Uh, actually, no.”, Simon admits.

“Come on, Franco, we’ll go and talk to Catarina, _qué te parece_?”, Raphael offers, probably picking up that having viewers when you’re about to embarrass yourself immensely is probably not the best thing.

Franco looks pretty pouty at first, claiming that he wanted to watch, but when Ragnor mentions that Catarina has donuts, he’s all set on getting to the room next door.

Simon lets out a sigh of relief when they’ve left. Not that he doesn’t like Franco - the little guy is just adorable - but he seems like the kind of kid who would laugh at his mishaps. Not on purpose and not meant in a bad way, of course, but still.

Ragnor shows him several things that he should do while warming up (a few of them he could’ve guessed himself but it’s still nice of him to explain) and strikes up a conversation while doing so. “So, you have no idea about free-style?”

“Uh, to be honest, Magnus has taught me one routine that I’ve mostly forgotten again by now.”, Simon shrugs.

“Lemme guess,” Ragnor says, “You didn’t want to look like a loser in front of Raph? Yeah, he has that effect.”

Simon snorts at that. Ragnor must be at least five years older than him, so it’s kind of funny that he’s intimidated by Raphael, especially considering their height difference. But yeah, Raphael can be scary if he wants to, Simon supposes.

It’s actually weird to have this solo training session with Ragnor because he’s not even bound to teach him a whole routine. Instead, he’s showing him different moves and explains how they work - repeatedly saying that no dance is ever truly fixed, apparently a whole lot comes from improvisation.

The basics actually aren’t that difficult - a kind of robotic arm moves here, a short drag of his foot over the floor there, then a twist - and Simon can see that with music, it’s probably easy to just line them up in any way.

He hadn’t even realized how often and therefore how long he’s been trying out the different movements until an egg timer on the window sill is going off.

“Well, that was our hour.”, Ragnor says and walks over to turn it off. “If you’re interested, you could stop by for regular training. It’s always more fun with more people and actual music.”

Simon accepts the flyer that he hands him. Truth be told he’d always been fascinated by Magnus’ dancing and wondered if he could learn it, too - but then he’d guessed that you would have had to start at an early age. Plus, he had always thought that trying to teach himself would go horribly wrong. But now, with that offer, he’s actually considering it. He should definitely asked his mum about the money for the lessons.

“I’m gonna go get the boys.”, Ragnor says. “Here are people who want to get home. Namely this guy here.”, he adds and points at himself.

Simon chuckles as he watches him enter the room that Raphael and Franco had disappeared into earlier. It’s really weird, he thinks, how he’d never have associated Raphael with friends who are that funny - which is ridiculous, really, if he considers the deadpan humour of the other. Raphael may seem really serious (and stubbornly so) but calling him boring would be a downright lie.

Franco’s complains are audible even before they’re back in the studio’s main room. “ _Oh_ , but if we go home, _mamá_ will make me do homework!”, he pouts as he’s shoved through the door by his brother.

“Well, if you’d done them before training--”

“I don’t want to do them _at all_!”

Raphael stops and sighs, grabbing Franco’s shoulder to make him turn around. “I know, but you got to. Most soccer players have finished High School while playing.”

“Really?”, Franco asks with honest surprise. “Even _El Tecatito_?”

“I suppose so.”, Raphael nods. “In some country it’s even a law that they have to finish school first - with really good grades.”

“Oh.”, Franco makes. “Then we better go. I’m gonna say goodbye to Ragnor properly.”

“Yeah, you do that.”, Raphael chuckles and pushes him gently back into the room.

“Is there really a law like that?”, Simon wants to know, stepping closer.

Raphael looks up at him with a small grin. “I have no idea. But it does the trick.”

Simon smiles, too, because Raphael seems to be so relaxed when he talks to his brother. It’s apparent that he loves him a lot, the way he talks to him and doesn’t ridicule his wishes are only a few proofs for that.

“How was your session?”, Raphael wants to know.

“Oh, it was nice. I guess I’ll come back here.”, Simon answers. “Thank you for arranging this.”

“Believe me, you really need it.”, Raphael answers dryly. He turns towards the door again and calls for Franco to finally get ready.

Simon notes that his voice is soft despite the volume, affection speaking out of it. If he didn’t already crush on Raphael, he certainly would now that he sees how much he cares for his brother.

This time it’s Ragnor who pushes Franco towards them, a bit more gentle than Raphael’d done earlier, and a laughter coming from him. Franco is eating a cupcake, which earns him a stern look from Raphael.

“So, -- Simon, right? -- if you do want to take lessons, just drop by to one of the beginner’s classes.”, Regnor says with a nod at the flyer. “I’m only here for hip-hop and such, but if you wanna check out standards, Catarina doesn’t bite.”

“Yeah, Catarina’s awesome!”, Franco agrees eagerly. “I wanted to marry her when I was a kid!”

Simon laughs at that. “And why not any more?”

“Now I wanna become a soccer player.”, Franco replies firmly as if it were the most reasonable thing.

“Ah, I see.”, Simon says, “I’m sure I’ll meet her soon enough. Now we need to get going, right, Raphael?”

When he looks back at Raphael, he can see that his expression change, but Simon can’t tell what he’s been looking like before. “Uh, yeah, we need to get home.”

“Then let’s go!”, Franco calls and grabs their hands, pulling them towards the entrance, “I need to do homework so I can become a soccer player!”

Ragnor raises an eyebrow at that but doesn’t ask any questions. “Alright, see you guys around. Rapha, I hope you’ll show up more often than once a year in the future!”

Raphael rolls his eyes as he lets himself be dragged to the door. “Yeah, whatever.”, he says and finally turns to get out of his brother’s grip. “Whatever stories he’s told you - they’re all lies.”, he mutters at Simon.

“We, uh, we didn’t even talk about you--?”, Simon offers. “We’ve actually been training.”

Raphael gives him a long look at that that actually makes Simon blush a little. He actually has no reason to other than the fact that Raphael’s eyes are fixed on him - he’s seen Raphael concentrate on something before, how his eyes get so dark that you can barely distinguish between the iris and pupil. If Simon were to look him in the yes right now, he’d melt right on the spot.

So instead, he directs his attention at Franco. “So, which position do you play?”

And Franco happily distracts both of them as he explains what exactly a midfielder has to do and how good he is at playing with the guy who shares his position. He doesn’t stop talking until they’re back at their home.

Raphael’s barely opened the door when he’s already hurrying inside, only yelling a “Goodbye, Simon!” over his shoulder.

“Wow, you really did the trick with that white lie.”, Simon whistles through his teeth.

“Let’s just hope he doesn’t find out any time soon.”, Raphael sighs. “Are you good to go home? My mum could drive--”

“Nah, it’s fine.”, Simon says. “I did walk here, it’s not that far. Uh, thank you again.”

“You’re welcome.”, Raphael replies. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, sure. Have a good night!”, Simon says as he turns to leave.

For some reason, there’s a funny feeling in his stomach for the whole time that he tries to get home. He’d forgotten that his Google Maps doesn’t work, but he doesn’t mind being left alone with his thoughts for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
>  _No le importara a ese chico tuyo._ \- That boy of yours won't mind.  
>  (Thanks at [fangirl6202](http://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl6202/pseuds/fangirl6202) for fixing my mistake!)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains the Q slur, but it's being reclaimed.

“Will we ever get up again?”, Simon wants to know.

Clary’s answer is almost inaudible, muffled by the fact that she’s burying her head in a pillow. It’s apparent that she, in fact, doesn’t want to continue filling his shelves any time soon. Okay, fine, they would probably have been finished by now for _several_ times if Simon had finally settled on an order for his books. They’ve put his books in alphabetical order at first, then sorted them by colours -- none of that has been a real aesthetic. Right now, half his comic books are in its shelf (DC and Marvel in two piles, sorted by which hero’s name they wear), the other half still in the box and _all_ of his books are spread across the room.

He’d feel bad about being so indecisive, but to his defense it’s the last thing to be done about his room and it _needs_ to be perfect. He’ll never manage to fill the shelves like they’ve been in his last room again, so he’s aiming for perfection at least. Not that easy.

Clary mumbles something else, causing Simon to throw the pillow that’s fallen down earlier and that he’s leaning against now at the back of her head. She tries to kick him in response, but seeing how she has no clue where he’s sunk down after she’s crashed with a loud groan, she misses him by far.

“Why haven’t you done this on your own?”, she sighs, turning so that she lies on her back now.

“I’ve been _busy_.”

“Busy, hm?”, she repeats. “With what? Thinking about a certain honey-skinned angel?”

“ _No_ ,” Simon scoffs and tries to hide his blush. It’s truly amazing how Clary can sense the smallest amount of interest that he has for another person - where has this ability been when he’s been head over heels (or at least, so he’d thought) for her years ago? “I’ve either been fighting off homework or at the studio. I haven’t even had the time to read the last two _Uncanny Avengers_ issues!”

“So you’re _actually_ learning to dance now?”, Clary asks and sits up more. Her expression is a perfect mixture of curiosity and disbelief.

He’s told Clary about his visit at Ragnor’s studio, of course. Like, _everything_. He’s probably talked half an hour about how adorable Raphael’s brother is. He’s described the studio to her in great detail. He’s mentioned that Ragnor knows Magnus (to which Clary’s said that it’s no surprise since Magnus seems to know everyone) and he’s said he’d consider going there regularly. It’d fit because it’s actually not that far from his home so he could go back and forth and still be home before the curfew that his mother has set.

But they haven’t really had the time to text and talk more than the general how-are-you-how-are-the-others-what’s-up-with-glee content, so he hasn’t gotten around to tell her that he’s actually been there a couple of times now.

“Yeah,” he shrugs. “Ragnor has this Beginner’s Hip-Hop class on Mondays and Thursdays, it’s actually pretty cool.”

“Aw, look at you becoming a star!”, Clary teases. “What’s it like?”

“It’s cool, actually. I mean, it’s an easy course, of course, so I’m managing pretty well? I think I’m getting better at _feeling_ the music, as Ragnor would put it.”, Simon tells her. “Which probably won’t save me from messing up in front of Raphael, though...”

“Which would be fatal.”, Clary decides with big eyes.

“Could you stop making fun of me? Like, how am I supposed to spend so much time with him and _not_ develope a crush on him? Like that wouldn’t happen to you.”

“Well, Si, I’m a lesbian.”, Clary grins. “But, aesthetically speaking, he and Iz are on the same range, so yeah, I get what you mean. Which brings me to the real question here: Why aren’t you asking him out?”

“Are you kidding me?”, Simon yelps. “First, he’d probably, like, bite off my head. Like, really, I’m not joking. He’s got that look. Second, he’s like… my mentor? So that’d be weird? Also, I, um, I’m not _really_ sure if he’s even interested in guys--”

“Wait. Not _really_ sure? That screams for more details.”

“He-- Uh, I asked if he’d be at Ragnor’s studio if I appeared there, which you know, was stupid because even _if_ he were, he wouldn’t be in a _beginner’s_ class-- _Anyway_ , he said he doesn’t have time because he’s at this meeting for queer kids of faith on Thursdays?”, Simon rubs his neck. “But, like, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he is one himself? He could just be some kind of supervisor or so…”

“Hm,” Clary frowns. “ _But_ you don’t know for sure.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying.”

“Yeah, I know, shhh.”, she makes. “But that means that maybe you could have a chance! You should just go for it.”

“I can’t possibly do that. If he rejects me, I’ll die of embarrassment. I’ll never get into the club then because _I wouldn’t even try anymore_ because it would be freaking _awkward_.”

“So what? You’ll just keep throwing longing glances after him?”, Clary raises an eyebrow. “He surely won’t notice that…”

“Leave me and my pining alone!”, Simon demands. “I’ve had to endure your crush on Izzy, too.”

“Yeah, for about two weeks because then _I made a move_.”

“If I remember correctly, she’s asked for your number.”

“ _Yes_ , but I _replied_. You probably wouldn’t.”

“Ooooh!”, Simon makes, pointing her finger at her. “I see what you’re doing. Nope, not happening. I’m not gonna agree to making a challenge out of this.”

“You’re no fun.”, Clary pouts.

“True,” Simon nods. “And to prove that, let’s continue the boring work here. If we finish it today, you’ll never have to do it again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is the "Well, Si, I'm a lesbian." line a reference to foggynelson's "[Fall For You](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8596981)"? Yes, it totally is. (Go read it!)


	17. Chapter 17

Simon continues going to Ragnor’s Beginner’s Class. It’s fun to actually be taught how to move to the music, even though he’s felt pretty awkward at first, seeing how he’s had to show up there on his own and that he’s, once again, the newbie. That means, of course, that he’s gained curious looks but he’d actually say that he’s managing to ignore them quite well.

The dance moves they’re studying are moderately easy - Ragnor has told him after the first real session that he’s been there that it’s not so much that specific dance routine but rather about them understanding the music.

Of course, Simon’s always had a feeling for music, so he easily figures out when he should move his arm, his leg and when a body roll would be best. He’d dare to say that he’s a natural, actually, he’s just needed to get a start.

Raphael seems to be content about his progress, too, when he wants Simon to show him what he’s learnt so far. But then, well, Simon’s just been practicing Freestyle for three weeks. He still messes up a couple of times, even falls onto his ass one time, but it doesn’t make Raphael furious or laugh at him - instead, he’s just offered him a hand. 

And at the Saturday of that week, Simon finds himself back in the studio for a training session with the Catarina that either Ragnor or Raphael have organized. Simon’s heard a lot about her in passing despite never having seen her, so he’s quite excited and nervous about finally meeting her.

He’s all alone when he enters the ballroom, but the door was opened, so he doesn’t think that there’s nobody there. 

“Hello?”, he calls, “Catarina?”

“Yes!”, comes a cheery voice from one of the rooms attached to the ballroom. “Hang on, I’ll be right there!”

As he waits, Simon puts down his bag in the corner of the room. Since he’s already wearing his training clothes - a pair of skinny sweatpants and a muscle shirt under his jacket -, there’s only a towel and a big bottle of water in it. It’s weird to be alone in this room, he notes. One of the walls is covered in a big mirror, just like you always see it on TV, showing you nothing but yourself. 

Though, actually, Simon’s gotta say that he looks better than ever. Actually doing a sport must do wonders to his body. He’s holding himself straighter than before and, if he can say so himself, looks more confident than before. He can’t help but think that it’s a good look for him.

“Ah, nothing better than a hot chocolate when it’s that cold outside, right?”, Catarina says as she comes inside. “Do you want one, too? The stove’s still hot.”

Simon turns around to get a look at her. Catarina’s small, though he doubts that she’s smaller than Clary, and very petite. She’s totally rocking the contrast of her white-dyed hair and dark skin. 

“Uh, no, but thank you.”, Simon replies with a smile. “I’m actually not that cold.”

Catarina shrugs and takes a sip of the mug in her hands. “You’re Simon, right? Raphael’s friend?”

“Yeah, that’s me.”, Simon nods. “Sorry for taking up your Saturday.”

“Ah, it’s fine.”, Catarina waves her hand. “If it were a problem, I wouldn’t have agreed. Besides, Raphael said you were a lost cause, so I figured I better keep him from exploding.”

“And I thought he was only insulting me when I was present.”, Simon sighs. At the same time, a part of him is kind of happy that  _ Raphael _ has organized this. 

“I see that you haven’t known him for that long.”, Catarina grins. “Or else you’d know he never leaves out an opportunity for being the snarky bastard that he is. You should’ve seen him pre-puberty.”

While Simon can’t imagine Raphael as a small boy, he does believe that he’s always been at least somewhat like he is nowadays, so he snickers along with her. He has the feeling that he and Catarina could become fast friends.

“So, you’re actually better than he makes it sound?”, Catarina asks when they’ve stopped laughing,

“I’m afraid not,” Simon admits. “I think Raphael’s got a better judgement than me in that area.”

“Well, you wouldn’t be the first tone-deaf person whom I turned into a graceful dancer.”, Catarina shrugs.

“Hey! I’m not  _ tone-deaf _ !”

“Then you can’t be all that bad.”, she grins and takes another big sip of her cocoa. “You can warm up while I finish this.”

Simon nods and steps back a little, waiting for her to leave again. When it’s apparent that she won’t, he sighs and gets in position for some knee bends. He almost falls over when Catarina scolds him right away.

“No, that’s wrong! Why’d you want to stress your muscles before getting them even a  _ little _ warm?”, she cites, “You need to  _ jog _ a bit. Either around the room or on the spot. Jesus, I thought you took classes with Ragnor!”

Simon stares at her, feeling like an idiot. Yes, he  _ is _ in Ragnor’s class and they actually run around for some time before they start flexing their joints, but for some reason he hadn’t thought he’d have to do that for standard dances. After all, they’re all pretty slow, aren't they?

Either he’s said that out loud or Catarina’s able to read mind because she continues, “We  _ will _ start with the Waltz, yes, but being warmed up is important even for slow dances. Also, there’s also faster Standards.”

“Oh, er, sorry, I guess.”, Simon mumbles.

“Maybe Raphael was right about you being a lost cause.”, Catarina says but there’s a teasing tone in her voice. 

Simon takes that as enough motivation to actually start  _ moving _ . He starts jogging on the spot, as Catarina has suggested, but quickly felt stupid while doing so - sooner or later, he won’t be able to stay where he is anyways, so he decided to screw it and just go for a jog through the room, circling Catarina until she tells him that it is enough. 

Catarina is actually helping him by saying what exercises he should do in between taking sips from her chocolate. Soon enough he’s bending his knees, swinging his arms, doing balance exercises and jumping up and down. He’s already sweating by the time that she’s finished her drink. 

She’s setting her mug down by the stereo that Simon’s gotten quite used to by now, thumbing through the CDs that they store there. She settles on one, puts it into the player and when a song starts, she turns around to him again. 

“Do you want to try the steps on your own first or with a partner right away?”, she wants to know.

“I-- uh, the Waltz, right?”, when she nods, he continues, “I’ve learnt the steps themselves already, some time ago. So, uh, I guess you won’t have to teach me again?”

“Great.”, Catarina says. “Then we can start right away.”

Her next movements remind him of Raphael - she's just holding out her arms and waiting for him to melt into his position. 

“Uh, this is probably the time where I should tell you that, apparently, I have problems with leading.”, Simon says and scratches the back of his head. 

“Well?”, Catarina says without taking down her arms. “We're here to fix that. I'll talk you through it.”

Simon nods and steps closer, letting her correct where he puts his arms. He already knows that it'll be different from when he danced with Clary because he's holding his entire body differently. 

“Okay, see, when you take a step forward, you have to move the whole side of your body.”, Catarina explains when he starts. “Don't just move your leg. Put a soft pressure against my arm. …Yeah, like that.”

Simon gathers that if anyone were here to watch them, it'd look ridiculous. He's trying to find the balance between shoving her backwards and leading her gently which causes him to change his movements every few milliseconds. 

She carefully explains and shows him what to do when you step backwards and lets him try it a couple of times, too. Simon’s still feeling weird to be so physically close to someone he's just met, but he pushes back the feeling in order to concentrate on what he's learning. 

In the end, they're dancing for a whole song so Simon can try out what he's practiced. Catarina corrects him a lot of times, but in contrast to Raphael she moves with him at least so that he wouldn't feel like a complete idiot. 

“You're not all that bad.”, she comments when Simon goes to grab something to drink. 

“Uh, thanks.”, Simon answers. “Can I get that written down so I can shove it into Raphael’s face?”

She chuckles at that but leaves it uncommented. Instead, she tells him, “I know that you're in Ragnor’s class and that you attend the  _ DuMort _ of all schools, so you won't be able to stop by for my class-- but maybe you wanna come back next week? Then we could test how much stuck with you and maybe do something faster.”

“Yeah, that's-- that's a good idea. Thank you?”

“Wouldn't have offered if it were a problem.”, Catarina shrugs. “Okay, let's try this once more and then you can go enjoy the rest of your Saturday.”

Simon can understand why Franco has wanted to marry Catarina - she's nice and pretty and fun to talk to. She's also a good teacher. While Raphael has just scolded him, Catarina explains what he has done wrong and tells him how to correct it. He's already feeling like he's improved a lot, despite having been here for barely an hour. He hopes that maybe during the holidays, when he has more time, he’ll be able to actually go to one of her classes regularly.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, my WiFi doesn't work. I'm uploading this via phone and hope nothing messes up :s

Simon can’t actually recall having given his number to Raphael. Sure, they’ve started to actually talk when they see each other (namely Spanish class and lunch break) and Simon  _ might _ have developed a tiny crush on the other, but still… it’s pretty much a business-like relationship that they have.

In fact, they’ve only seen each other twice outside of the DuMort, but now that he thinks about it, Simon guesses that Magnus has probably forwarded his number. Or, which is more likely when Simon sees the  _ order _ that Raphael has texted him, he must have  _ asked _ for him number.

For some reason, that thought makes him smile.

 

**From Unknown:** Be at the choir room tomorrow at 2. - Raphael

 

It puzzles him, actually, because tomorrow is Friday and glee practice takes place on Friday afternoon. But maybe it’s cancelled and Raphael wants to put good use to his new-won freedom.

Quite a mystery, actually, why a) Raphael hasn’t waited to tell him during class or break when they’d see each other anyways and b) why he wouldn’t go home earlier or, like, chill for some time. He’ll never make sense out of Raphael.

He saves Raphael’s number (he’s been contemplating whether to make a pun out of it - “Angel McSaint”, “Dark Leader”, “Fajita” being some of the better ones, but then he figured Raphael would kill him if he were to go for any of those) and tells him that he’ll be there. He could still ask what it’s about tomorrow.

He sets his phone down and directs his attention back to the calculus homework in front of him. His mum has been nagging him about putting so much effort into getting into the Glee club (honestly, they’ve had a huge fight when he wanted to go to the dance studio last weekend despite her earlier statements about how it's fine), so for now he’s decided to put some more work into his homework.

 

-

 

“Hey, Raph,” Simon says as he slides down on his seat in their Spanish class. He ignores Raphael’s mumble about how that’s not his name and continues, “What’s that about meeting after school?”

“I don’t have time during lunch.”, Raphael states without lifting his head. Simon doesn’t even have to look to know that he’s doing homework.

“What about your Glee practice? Is it cancelled?”, Simon wants to know.

“To be decided.”

Simon blinks at him. “I’m confused.”

“ _ No es sorprendente. _ ”, Raphael says dryly.

“Care to explain?”, Simon offers.

Raphael sighs and sets his paper down. He looks tired when he turns to face him. “Don’t freak out about this, alright? But you will be at practice today.”

“ _ What _ ?”, Simon yelps. “I thought I couldn’t! You said no matter how hard I’d--”

“ _ Yes _ , and this would still apply if we weren’t missing a member.”

“You’re what now?”

“Stan broke his leg a few days ago, meaning we’d only have 14 people to participate during Nationals, which is not enough.”, Raphael explains. “Rules say you need one more, so yeah, we need help. I wouldn’t ask  _ you _ if I didn’t have to.”

Simon, who’s started grinning during Raphael’s explanation - could it be considered a dick move when you’re glad about someone hurting himself? -, feels the need to hug him. Not only has Raphael taught him things to make him better, he’s actually helping him to  _ get into the club _ . It’s a sign that Raphael really thinks he’s good, so Simon says, “Nah, you would.”

“Maybe.”, Raphael replies with a small smile. “All of us heads have to bring someone who could replace Stan - and this afternoon we'll have auditions with them. And since you're pretty much the only person outside of The Clan of whom I know they can sing--”

“--you chose me? That's… oddly sweet…?”

“ _ No lo digas asi _ .”

“But still, uh, why didn't you text me that, too? Like, I could've  _ prepared _ .”, Simon says. 

He's excited about this, of course. Since he transferred here, he's been wanting to finally audition for the Glee club. That's what all this has been about. And yet, seeing how it's so soon and that he doesn't even have a clue what to sing, he can't help but feel a twist in his stomach. 

“You'll be fine,  _ bebé _ .”, Raphael says firmly. “Even if they don't choose you  _ today _ , it means nothing. Right now we just need the  _ very _ best.”

“Hm,” Simon makes and leans back into his chair. He doesn't know if there are others in the position as him - if they've gotten specific private training that's modified to make you a Clan member. But for some reason, the thought of that doesn't even really upset him.  _ Raphael _ has taught him after all, and he can't really imagine that there's anyone else in the club who's as determined and thorough. 

“You're not freaking out, are you? I didn't tell you before because I wanted to avoid that.”, Raphael says and for a second, Simon could swear he sees him wearing a gentle smile directed at him. 

It's the second time that Raphael has just decided for him. Simon knows he means well, of course, and he's thankful for that. But still, he says, “I don't know, man, maybe you should consult me first before deciding what's best for me.”

Raphael gives him a slightly puzzled expression at that before looking down for a short moment. “You're right. I'm sorry.”

Simon would've responded to say that he's not pissed and that he knows Raphael isn't mothering him, but suddenly their teacher comes into the room and everyone shuts up. Speaking now would make everyone be able to listen in, so Simon is only left with a faint feeling of guilt. 

 

-

 

Raphael’s told him after Spanish class that they should meet up before the Glee practice and go there together. Apparently, it’s important for appearances and since The Clan is so hyped about their traditions, Simon guesses he shouldn’t argue with that. 

So, Raphael picks him up at his algebra classroom and leads the way to the choir room. Simon would’ve found it on his own by now, seeing how he’s there  _ every day _ , so technically there’s no need for him to lead the way. Somehow Simon feels like Raphael would avoid him if possible and that’s the reason why he’s practically running away from him. It’s probably stupid of him to think that but he can’t help but add that to his pile of insecurities right now. 

There’s not many people there yet when they arrive, and when Raphael takes a seat in the front row of the chairs, Simon just sits down next to him. If they were alone, he would’ve probably stared at the way Raphael sits on a normal chair and does nothing for once. He seems tense from what Simon can tell, so he doesn’t bring it up. 

Instead, Simon takes his time to look at the people who are already present. There’s one or two he remembers from Magnus’ party, but apparently not all of them have been present back then because there’s also some he doesn’t recognize. They’re chatting happily, discussing various things, Simon can imagine, and he’s glad that at least someone isn’t anxious about this practice at least.

“You seriously brought your girlfriend?”, Raphael comments when Lily enters the room. To Simon’s surprise, he’s wearing a smirk as he looks at the dark-skinned girl that walks in behind Lily.

Lily scoffs as she walks up to them and takes a seat in the row behind them. “Well? You brought Simon.”

Whatever look Raphael gives her at that, Simon doesn’t see because he darts his eyes down to the ground to hide the blush creeping up on his cheeks. When he looks up again, however, Raphael’s gaze is still directed at Lily, who has now taken a seat in the row behind them. Apparently, they’re having a silent conversation about something.

Meanwhile, Simon’s caught up in his worries. Of course, he’s anxious about this entire situation right now, how he’ll handle this and  _ what _ will even happen. On top of that, the fact that Raphael hasn’t really talked to him since Spanish this morning. And now, he’s wondering if his crush on Raphael is  _ really _ so apparent that Lily would comment on it.

He’s feeling sick to his stomach and tries his best to focus on the fact that  _ he’ll have to sing _ \- he’ll need enough of his brain for that. He’s been wondering the whole day what he should sing. He’s pretty much only practiced two songs with Raphael but about those he knows at least that he  _ could _ possibly nail them. There’s of course more he’s pretty familiar with, so if they have, like, a motto or so he’ll have a few songs up his sleeve.

He sinks deeper into his chair and takes deep breaths. Raphael turns back around after a few moments and Simon can feel his gaze on him but ignores it in favour of calming down and staring at the wall.

 

-

 

Once the room is filled, Raphael rises from his seat and steps to the front to face the club. 

“As you're all aware, today is not a usual practice. With Stan’s injury, we're missing a member for the upcoming competition, and therefore today will be used to find someone to fill his footsteps.”, Raphael explains. “Each of us Heads has brought someone they consider a good fit. When I call your name, you may come up to stand next to me.”

There's a short whisper going through the room that Raphael silences with a single pointed look. 

“Maia, Lily’s newbie who's a Sophomore.”, he announces and the girl who'd entered with Lily jumps over to him. 

“Simon, Junior, my choice.”

Simon swallows and gets up. He feels everyone's eyes on him as he goes to stand next to Maia. 

“And, at last, Stan’s choice: Marco, who is a Senior.”

At that, the guy who’s been sitting next to Stan gets up, walking over to them in quite an unmotivated fashion. 

There's a short moment in which everyone is quiet and looks up to them, their expressions going from neutrality to concern. It doesn't make Simon feel any calmer. 

“Since this is about Stan’s replacement, he's the one to provide the rules of this audition.”, Raphael nods into Stan’s direction before sinking back on his seat. Simon, who’s now pretty much standing right in front of him, can see that now  _ he’s _ fidgeting with the ends of his shirt’s sleeves.  _ Great _ , even  _ Raphael _ is nervous.

Stan stays seated, which makes sense considering  _ he has a broken leg _ , but everyone’s attention is fixed on him anyway. “Each member of the club has written down a song on a piece of paper earlier. You will draw one of those pieces and this will be the song that you will perform for us. You will have the opportunity to listen to it once before performing it with playback. If you don’t know it at all, you will be getting another piece of paper.”, he announces loudly. “Your performances will happen in alphabetical order, and since I don’t know any of you guys’ last names, we’ll go by first name.”

Simon swallows. That’ll mean he’ll be the last one. Of course, with only two people before him, he won’t have to wait for too long, but it won’t help his anxiety at all. He catches Raphael’s eyes shortly and could swear that the other is giving him a small nod.

“Everything clear?”, Stan asks.

Simon nods. He’s focussing more on his heart racing and the fact that he should stand still and not embarrass himself right now because that wouldn’t just make him look bad but Raphael as well - but he guesses that the others must have nodded along, because Stand then tells Lily to “start with the procedure”. And here Simon thought that Raphael had a knack for being dramatically stoic.

Lily grants them a smile as she steps forward and holds out what looks like an empty goldfish tank. Simon is not surprised that she’d start with Maia first, despite her standing in the middle.

“Don’t open them yet!”, Stan orders when Maia’s taken her paper.

Simon gets to draw after her and takes his time rummaging through the pieces of paper, mixes them up before settling on one. He turns the paper in his hand but follows the order of not opening it.

Once Marco’s drawn his paper, too, Stan finally says, “And now hand your paper to the person on your left. Marco, give yours to Simon.”

Marco shuffles slightly, moving closer to him and Simon can see him roll his eyes as he accepts the paper. He can understand that Marco would think this is exaggerating things - a part of him shares that opinion, of course - but he also gets why they’d do that. After all, who says that you can’t cheat in this draw? So yeah, this is like an insurance for the randomness of the whole thing.

“Now you can open them.”

He opens the piece of paper that Marco’s given him and feels a wave of disappointment flush through him as he sees that it’s not Raphael’s handwriting. He’s certain that whatever song Raphael has chosen would be suitable for him - or rather, he hopes so. But still, the song written on it in a clumsy writing -  _ OneRepublic - Something I Need _ , says the paper - is a good one. Simon’s not really sure if he can sing it properly, but he knows and likes it at least.

Maia doesn’t look too happy about the song she’s gotten, but she doesn’t speak up so he guesses that she knows it at least. And Marco, well, he generally looks like he’d rather spend his afternoon in the hardest algebra class than stand here, so Simon can’t say much about what he thinks.

“No complaints?”, Stan wants to know. “Then you’ll have an hour with the person who’s brought you here to prepare. You’ll get to listen to the song  _ once _ only. When the time is up, you’ll perform one after the other.”

Once he’s finished, the meeting dissolves into chatter and Simon finds himself stumbling towards Raphael. Truth be told, he’s still pretty overwhelmed by the whole situation, especially at the fact that he can’t just sing a song he already knows.

Raphael meets him halfway and gently grabs his elbow, leading him out of the room. “What song did you get?”, he wants to know once they’re out in the hall. 

Simon hands him the paper wordlessly. Before he takes a look at it, Raphael moves for the next door and looks into the room, probably to make sure it’s empty so they could use it. He sighs and steps into it, which Simon takes as a sign to follow.

“Are you  _ very _ familiar with the song?”, Raphael wants to know. He’s wearing a neutral expression as he reads the title, so Simon can’t tell if  _ he _ knows it.

“I’ve listened to it a couple of times.”, Simon says. “I know the melody, and most of the lyrics, I guess.”

“That’s good, then you can just try to directly sing along to the music.”, Raphael says and pulls out his phone.

“Why are we only allowed to listen to it once, though? And why is this so weird in general?”, Simon wants to know, leaning against one of the tables.

“Well, we need to make sure the one we choose can learn fast.”, Raphael explains as he types something. “Nationals are soon enough, after all.”

Simon feels his throat tighten up again at that reminder.  _ If _ he gets into the club  _ now _ , he’ll be thrown right into a competition. There’ll barely be the time to even properly get to know one another - this will be as much business as it can be. He wonders: If he fucks up during Nationals, will he be thrown out again? Will this membership even last till next year?

“Simon.”, Raphael says, “ _ ¿Estás bien? _ ”

Simon blinks at him. Right, before he worries about all that, he should probably focus on the challenge right ahead of him. It’s reassuring to know that, for better or worse, Raphael will be there at least. “Yeah, sure. I just--”

“Hey,  _ mírame _ .”, Raphael orders. Simon hadn’t even been aware that his eyes have been fixed on the ground. Raphael stands next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “If you don’t want to do this now after all, feel free to tell me. I should’ve given you time to think about this. I’m sorry about that. But if you do feel like competing today, just do what we’ve practiced.  _ Eres lo suficientemente bueno; eso es seguro _ .”

Simon takes a deep breath at the words. It’s probably the first time that Raphael has said he’s done good - or in this case  _ will _ do good - without adding some teasing. It’s the first time he says it with all honestly and Simon feels his throat get tight again, but this time not out of fear but because he’s  _ touched _ . He swallows and manages a smile at his mentor, “Well, then I better do those warm-ups, huh?”

Raphael grants him a wide smile at that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glee has only ever said you need 12 people to participate in a competition, but I changed the number to make the Clan look bigger.
> 
>  **Translations:**  
>  _No es sorprendente._ \- That's not surprising.  
>  _No lo digas asi._ \- Don't say it like that.  
>  _¿Estás bien?_ \- Are you okay?  
>  _mírame_ \- look at me  
>  _Eres lo suficientemente bueno; eso es seguro._ \- You are good enough, that's for sure.
> 
> **Referenced songs:**  
> [OneRepublic - Something I Need](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKCGBgOgp08)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! My internet is still gone and I caught a cold, so I'm pretty much non-existent at the moment.

Simon guesses that the Clan’s members are secretly sadistic. Otherwise he wouldn’t be able to explain why they would make him sit through the other people’s auditions. (Okay, fine, the other explanation he could come up with is maybe that they don’t want them to have any more practice than the proposed hour, but right now Simon is more for his first idea.) 

He’s seated amidst the others again, on his spot next to Raphael and while he’s still anxious about what’s to come, at least the tension between the two of them has gotten thinner. Raphael’s still avoiding his eyes, for whatever reason, but studying the song had helped a bit.

For all the rules that they have made, Simon’s quite surprised that Lily is the one who’s allowed to put on Maia’s song - thinking about it, who says that they didn’t just change the choice during the past 30 minutes. He guesses that the Heads trust one another to be honest, even if they don’t necessarily trust the newbies. 

As the guitar starts playing, recognition floods through the club members. 

 

_ You keep saying you got something for me _

_ Something you call love but confess _

_ You've been a'messin' where you shouldn't 've been a'messin' _

_ And now someone else is getting all your best _

 

Maia’s voice is awesome and the movements she makes according to the music are smooth, forming a little performance. Simon gulps when she winks at him first and later Marco while she sings the playful threat of the chorus while the audience laughs.

 

_ These boots are made for walking, _ _   
_ _ And that's just what they'll do _ _   
_ __ One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you

 

When Maia has finished, the whole choir room is quiet for a short moment before erupting into loud applause and cheers. She deserves it, her performance has been magnificent, so Simon claps along happily. 

Marco doesn’t look to happy when he’s up next - Simon’s definitely sure by now that he doesn’t want to be here because his voice is almost monotone as he sings. He does have a good voice, but he’s never heard  _ Another Lonely Night  _ be sung with such little emotions. The performance feels like it lasts an eternity, not just because Simon is so nervous about his own but because Marco doesn’t do anything to make it more appealing. Simon can see him scowl at Stan when the small round of applause is over.

“Okay, your turn.”, Raphael mutters and squeezes his shoulder shortly.

Simon takes another deep breath and gets up from his seat, walking into the centre of the room while Raphael moves over to the stereo. 

Now that he stands here, Simon regrets that he’s gotten this song. He could have just claimed that he didn’t know it and maybe gotten one that doesn’t require him to sing pretty much only A Cappella during the first stanza - sure, there  _ is _ music, but it’s very silent and Simon’s lowkey freaking out about it not being enough.

He’s shooting a look to the side, where Raphael is still standing and earns an encouraging nod as the first words leave his mouth.

 

_ I had a dream the other night _ _   
_ _ About how we only get one life _ _   
_ _ Woke me up right after two _ _   
_ _ Stayed awake and stared at you _ _   
_ __ So I wouldn't lose my mind

 

It gets better when the music gets louder. Simon feels his voice get firmer when the others start nodding along to the music and even starts snapping along himself. 

Truth be told, it gets easier with every note he sings. Soon enough he’s really enjoying himself.

 

_ You got something I need _ _   
_ _ In this world full of people there's one killing need _ _   
_ __ And if we only die once I wanna die with you

 

When he’s finished, Simon feels like the world’s weight has dropped off his shoulders. Everyone is clapping and smiling and Simon closes his eyes for a moment to catch a breath.

“ _ Buen trabajo _ .”, Raphael tells him and touches his arm gently to make him open his eyes again. Then, with a louder voice, he announces. “Thank you all for your performances. We’re going to decide whom we’ll take now while you guys stay outside, alright?”

 

-

 

“Hey, just wondering,” Simon starts and stops wandering up and down the hall, “Why aren’t you guys in the club yet?”

He’s trying to distract himself from the anxiety spreading out in his body. While they stepped outside, a horrible thought came up to him - if he failed this audition, would it doom his chances for the next? Would the club members remember him next semester and just go  _ Oh no, that Simon Lewis, he can’t perform anyway _ ? So yes, he’s doing all he can to distract himself from the worries and make the time go by faster.

“I wouldn’t be here for that stupid thing if I didn’t owe Stan a favour.”, Marco mutters, his arms crossed in front of his chest. 

Well, that’s definitely an explanation for his lack of enthusiasm.

“I’m only here because of Lily, actually.”, Maia says, “I mean, it’s cool and all but I already have enough to do with soccer.”

“You play soccer?”

“Yeah,” she nods. “But we’re already out of the tournament, so I figured I could help out where there’s any need.”

“That’s… nice of you.”, Simon nods softly. It kind of bums him out that she’s done such a good job at performing when, apparently, she isn’t even that much into it. But it’s nice of her to offer her help and not create such a waste of time as Marco’d done.

“You’re the one who’s meant to join for some time already, right? Lily’s mentioned you.”, Maia answers. 

“Yeah, let’s see how that goes.”, Simon answers with a shrug.

When Marco lets out a long, annoyed sigh, he decides to drop the conversation and start walking around again until they’re called back in. He sends a few messages to Clary but doesn’t get an answer - he guesses that she’s probably locked herself into their studio and is working on a new piece. At least he hopes so, because then they’re both busy with something similar.

 

-

 

“The majority of the Clan members has made a decision,” Stan announces in what could be considered a serious voice, “And we have decided that who will go to Nationals with us is… Simon! Congratulations.”

Now, if Simon’s mind hadn’t been filled with absolute joy and laughter, he would’ve compared this scene to that of a casting show. He stands there, all tense, and then his name is called and he just let’s his arms fall down next to his body at first, frozen in shock until he  _ realizes _ . And then he throws them up and grins and  _ hugs Raphael  _ when he comes up to him. He doesn’t even care that the other will probably rip off his head at that but pulls him against himself and wraps his arms around his shoulder blades. 

“ _ ¿Ves? _ I told you you’d do it.”, Raphael says into his ear.

And at that, Simon snaps out of it and registers  _ just what he is doing _ . He softly pushes Raphael away again, but holds onto his upper arms so that it doesn’t look too rude. “Yeah, you did.”

The - probably only polite - applause of the others subsides quickly and Lily takes the word. “Well? See y’all for regular practice on Tuesday!”

Simon feels a short flush of disappointment when he notices that not everyone is as excited about this as he is. Of course, it makes sense because it’s just about who can join the Glee club to help them win something that’s really worth celebrating, so he pushes it away quickly. Lily flashes him a smile before going to take her girlfriend’s hand and Raphael’s pretty much told him he’s proud of him, so the people whom Simon’s talked to more than once have given him their approval, and that’s what matters.

But still, he can’t help but keep holding onto Raphael’s sleeve when he moves to turn away. “Um, can we talk?”

Raphael raises an eyebrow at that but nods eventually. He stills goes for his bag, though, probably to be busy until everyone’s left. He looks calm now, well-collected, and Simon would almost smile at seeing Raphael back to normal.

“You’ve been, uh, ignoring me? Earlier, I mean.”, Simon states when they’re left alone in the room. “Which is almost admirable, considering we went here together.”

“I did, didn’t I?”, Raphael says, looking over to him. “I’m sorry. Like I said earlier, I was feeling bad about not having told you earlier. And you flipping out at me before class-- I mean, you’ve been right--”

“You didn’t mean to belittle me.”, Simon points out. “I’ve overreacted and I’m sorry. I would’ve told you so earlier if the class hadn’t started then.”

“You’ve been right.”, Raphael answers. “I shouldn’t have made the decision for you. Maybe you wouldn’t have been as nervous. Maybe  _ I _ wouldn’t have been as nervous.”

“It’s actually kinda adorable that you were nervous for me.”, Simon says before he can stop himself.

Raphael scoffs. “ _ Please _ , if you’d screwed up, it’d have ruined  _ my _ reputation.”, he says but he’s wearing a soft grin. Simon’s relieved to see he's back to teasing him.

“Well,” Simon sighs, “I suppose you’ll see me even more often now. Wait-- are we continuing our sessions?”

“ _ Dios _ ,  _ yes _ .”, Raphael says quickly. “Now I have to teach you the  _ real _ dance moves.”

Simon chuckles at that. He could definitely do worse than spending his lunch breaks with seeing Raphael move to music and try to copy him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
>  _Buen trabajo._ \- Good job.  
>  _¿Ves?_ \- See?
> 
> **Featured songs:**   
>  [Nancy Sinatra - The Boots are Made for Walking](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SbyAZQ45uww)   
>  [Adam Lambert - Another Lonely Night](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7-BG018LJ4)   
>  [OneRepublic - Something I Need](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKCGBgOgp08)


	20. Chapter 20

Simon can’t stop smiling when they slide into the booth around their table. He’d met up with the others - that is, Clary, Magnus and the Lightwoods - outside, happily chatting up a conversation about how nice it is of them to be there to celebrate with him.

“Well, actually, I'm only here because I was told dinner was free.”, Alec shrugs, “Which is perfect since mum and dad are gone.”

“Oh yes,” Clary says, leaning closer to Simon before he has the chance to react. In a whisper, she says, “We might have told the boys that you pay? But don't worry, Izzy will steal the money from them and pay you back.”

Simon gulps. Still, that'd mean he's got to pay  _ tonight _ . “I don't  _ have _ so much money!”, he answers quietly. 

“Use your credit card.”

“My mum would  _ kill _ me!”

“Oh, come on, it's six menus plus drinks, how much can it cost?”, Clary offers and pulls away again, giving him one of her bright smiles. 

He hates that she knows that he'd do anything when she looks like at that. Beautiful people should not be allowed to know how to change facial expressions, if you ask him. But then again, even pretty people who look grumpy all the time have their effects--

“Fine.”, he sighs. 

The restaurant they've chosen to go to barely deserves that title, but the food is pretty cheap and yet delicious. Luke’s introduced them to it when they were children, claiming it to be one of the best you could find in New York. Simon’s sure that if he had his way, he'd make either him or Clary marry one of the owner’s kids to get discount. 

And yes,  _ Jade Wolf _ offers really good food. That's why they've decided to come here to celebrate him joining the Clan. 

Which means, that was the only decision that Simon got to make about this. Celebrating itself was Isabelle and Magnus’ idea and Clary has invited Jace and Alec because together they all form his closest group of friends (which, seeing how the latter two spend most of their time making fun of him, is rather sad). He hasn't even had to really say that  _ he _ wanted to go here, because Clary knew that anyways. Whenever they've had to celebrate something, Luke would take them here - and who is he to break a tradition? They've been here when Clary’s gotten her first award for an art work (elementary school), after Simon’s Bar Mitzvah, when they finished Middle School - every big thing they've come across so far. Adding this to the list is only mandatory. 

“So, Simon,” Izzy starts when they wait for a waiter to take their orders, “tell us about your audition, will you?”

Simon has actually no doubt that they all know already. He's called Clary on his way home after it, telling her  _ everything _ , and he guesses that she's told Izzy. And Izzy has probably told her brothers, which means Magnus knows all the details, too. But still, this is what they're celebrating, so it'd make sense to recapture it again. 

“Uh, sure.”

And then he tells them about everything - Raphael's mysterious text the evening before (Magnus admits that he's given him Simon's number) and how they've searched for a replacement for Stan. How he's known his song already, thank God, and how good Maia has been. He mentions everything except for this little fight he's had with Raphael. He doesn't think that it's not important but for some reason, he doesn't feel like sharing it with them. It's got not really anything to do with the audition itself, after all. 

“And Raphael's actually vouched for you?”, Alec says, raising an eyebrow. “I've only met him for, like, five minutes but he doesn't seem like the guy to have trust in people.”

“Ah, on the contrary, my dear,” Magnus says and pats his arm. “Raphael trusts a lot of people, they just have to earn it first.”

“You know, you always hint at how well you know him and yet we haven't even got a clue  _ why _ .”, Jace points out. 

“Yeah, Magnus, it's story time!”, Clary adds. 

“It's really not that much of a big deal,” Magnus says, moving his hands in a calming gesture. “We used to go to the same dance studio. With Ragnor and Catarina--?”, he looks at Simon, asking if he knows them. When he nods, Magnus continues, “Before they bought it. And yeah, we got to know each other, I dated the former Head of the Clan, she cheated on me--”

“Wow, stop right there. What?”, Alec says, blinking at him. 

“Yeah, I know right? Why would one cheat on me?”

“You dated the  _ Head _ of the Clan?”, Simon summarises. 

“Oh well, she wasn't the Head back then. It was during Freshman and Sophomore year, so don't worry, Alexander.”, Magnus says and pats his hand again. 

Alec mumbles something about how he hasn't even worried about anything which earns him a smile. 

“But yeah, when Raphael started going to the DuMort, he heard about the Glee club from Camille in first place.”

“Hm.”, Jace makes in a bored tone. Apparently, he'd thought this would be more exciting. 

Simon, however, is eager to hear more about it, even if it seems to be nothing more than gossip. “Raphael's said that they've had problems with their old leader. So that's her?”

“Yeah.”, Magnus nods. 

“Do you know more about that?”

“Not really. See, after we'd ended things I'd, let's say,  _ avoided _ the DuMort.”, Magnus tells him. “Plus, I had other things to worry about. But I could imagine that she's blackmailed people into joining the club or something. That sounds like a Camille-thing to do. You should ask Raph, if you're so desperate to know.”

“Sound like an awful person, if you ask me,” Izzy states. “Why’d you date her?”

“I was young and naive and she's a good actress.”, Magnus answers simply, pouting a little. 

“Well, then I can be glad she isn't there any more, huh?”, Simon says and picks up his glass. “A toast on that?”

“ _ No _ , a toast on you nailing your audition!”, Clary decides and raises her glass, too. 

“ _ Hear, hear _ !”, Jace agrees and then they all follow suit. 

Simon laughs loudly when their glasses clank, glad that his friends are so happy for him. They may be a weird constellation, but they're a group of friends after all and even different schools can't do any harm. And when he sees that there's a smile on  _ Alec’s _ face, too, he decides this is an even better feeling than winning the audition.


	21. Chapter 21

“Simon!”, Raphael hisses while their teacher rambles on at the front of the class. “ _ Do you have anything to do after _ Glee?”

Simon shoots him a puzzled look. His Spanish has gotten even better since he started going to the DuMort, but Raphael’s still speaking pretty fast - especially during class when the people around him could have a chance to understand what he’s saying when he’s speaking slowly. “What?”

“ _ You need extra training, so if you have time, I’d offer it to you after practice. _ ”

“That’s--”

“Simon, Raphael,  _ is there anything you’d like to share with the class _ ?”

“Uh--”, Simon makes, directing his gaze from Raphael to the front.

“Sí _ , I was wondering why we would only read half of a book - I mean, I get that with the niveau of the class, it would be too much to read the whole  _ Sicario _ , but why can’t we read a shorter one? We’re missing half the deeds here. _ ”, Raphael replies, not missing a beat. 

Simon stares at him - it probably doesn’t refer to what the main goal of the lesson is actually about, but as always, Raphael has been listening and talking simultaneously. In contrast to Simon, he’s caught up on the fact that they started talking about their lecture at least. Simon’s not even sure if he himself has ever opened the PDF file.

“Well, while that is a good point, I’d request that you keep your criticism until after the class.”, she says, switching into English for some reason.

Raphael presses his lips together but nods, holding up his chin. For the rest of the lesson, he keeps quiet.

 

-

 

“You’d think that spending extra time with the guy you’ve been crushing on and getting sweaty is fun, but let me tell you, it’s not.”, Simon sighs as he sinks down on the barstool.

“And there we are again with the sex theory.”, Jace grins before turning to prepare his coffee.

As a response, Simon groans and puts his head down on the counter. Clary rubs his back in a way of support.

“And you really want to go through with this?”, Clary asks, “Don’t you have this dancing session tomorrow, too?”

“Yeah, with Catarina.”, Simon nods - that is, rubs his cheek over the counter -, “But I mean, it’s only until the Nationals. I don’t think I have to do extra lessons any more when I’m learning a performance right from the start.”

“Oh man,” Clary sighs. “Are you even keeping up with school work?”

“Barely.”

“Simon, you need to relax.”, Jace offers and clanks the cup down. “And if that comes from me, it’s saying something.”

Simon knows that he’s not just referring to the fact that he rarely ever cares about Simon at all, but to his own restlessness as well. It’s not even that Simon  _ feels _ like that, he’s just doing everything he can to be good. 

“Yeah, I will. In a few weeks.”, Simon picks up the mug. “Thanks for that.”

“So, Nationals are in New York, right?”, Clary wants to know.

“Yeah, thank God. That means I won’t have to stress about travelling, too. Besides, I’m not sure if being huddled together with multiple anxious teenagers is the dream.”

“Understandable.”, Jace agrees with a grimace. “And when exactly are they?”

“Two weeks.”, Simon and Clary answer at the same time. 

“Wow, that’s… soon.”

“Yep,” Simon makes. “I won’t be staying for long, by the way. I need to finish my calculus homework tonight.”

“You have the who--”

“I don’t have the whole weekend, I have two hours of standard dances tomorrow and on Sunday I’ll meet up with Raphael so he can show me how to sing the second voice.”, Simon says quickly.

“Jesus.”

“I mean, only in the afternoon because he’s at church in the morning, but yeah, it’s still half the day.”

“Can’t believe you caught yourself choir boy.”, Jace huffs.

“I did not catch myself anything.”, Simon pouts. “How’s Meliorn?”

“You know, just because that worked once doesn’t mean it’ll do so a second time. He’s fine and  _ yes _ , I’m actually dating him, thank you very much.”

Truth be told, it’s not the answer that Simon has hoped for, but a part of him is glad about it. Even if he isn’t that close to Jace, he’s glad to see that he’s happy. 

“So, when will you ask that Raphael guy out?”, Jace continues.

“I’ve been asking him the same thing for the past month.”, Clary snorts. “Good luck getting an answer.”

Simon decides to ignore them both in favor of drinking his coffee at last. It’s one thing to tease Jace about Meliorn and another to have them make fun of him, simply because Jace’s feelings have been reciprocated. 

Besides, he has more important things to worry about than the twist in his stomach or the blush on his cheeks when Raphael touches his arm during practice - namely, concentrating on  _ what he’s learning _ .

 

-

 

“So, I can organize two tickets and seeing how Clary and Luke are at school during the competition, I was thinking maybe Jocelyn could join you?”, Simon starts when the movie they’re watching is on yet another commercial break. “Unless Becky suddenly has holidays or something.”

His mum had insisted on going to see his performance even though Simon’s told her that there’d be no need (which, actually, had been a well-meant lie of course - he could understand if she wouldn’t come, but it would hurt nonetheless), but luckily she’s never been one to listen to her children. 

“I think your sister will be stuck at college.”, she says, her expression slipping into a sad one for a brief moment. “So yeah, Jocelyn will probably be happy about that.”

Simon beams at her. Jocelyn’s always been like a second mother to him, so he’s glad that she can be there to watch his first performance. Of course, he’d like it more if the other members of his family could come, too, but since the competition is on a regular school day, that won’t be happening.

“You know, I’m excited for this. I think the last time I’ve seen you on a stage was back in elementary school.”, Elaine continues thoughtfully.

“You mean that one time they made me play one of the Wise Men?”

“Uh, yeah, you were Caspar, right?”, she recalls with a cringe.

Simon can’t be mad about that. Back then he’d been really excited about getting to play a part and his mother, despite her irritation, had been supportive. Nowadays, however, he knows why she’d thought so. Not only had he, a Jewish boy, practically been forced to play a big part of a tradition that is not his (they made everyone participate and back then Simon hadn’t even thought about it) but they’ve also painted his face black. It  _ has _ been really cringeworthy in retrospective.

“Well, this time I’m not stepping over any line. I hope.”, Simon tells her with a small grin.

“Good.”, she nods. “And you’re good with the performance?”

“Well, it’s not perfect yet, but it’ll work.”, Simon shrugs. “I mean, I don’t even have to sing or dance any solos - everything that’s been Stan’s has been given to someone with more experience, thank God. I’m just that guy in the background.”

“I think that’s the best for now. If you had to practice any more, I’d tie you down.”, his mum replies seriously. “You better not do as much next semester.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t.”, Simon promises.

“Good. Now get some new chips, you ate almost all of them!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Wise Men are a trippy topic because nothing is ever certain and I just went with what I remembered from this church group I used to go to. If anyone knows better, feel free to correct me!


	22. Chapter 22

“Hey, are you alright?”

Simon jumps slightly, breaking out of his stupor. He'd left the auditorium earlier, in the middle of another club’s performance because he started to feel sick of anxiety. Not that he thinks they're better than The Clan - it's just… they're better than  _ him _ .  

The performance that his Glee club has planned is breathtaking and should amaze the audience and jury. That is, if you actually can keep up with it. Simon’s only had a month of preparation, his dancing is okay at most and his singing is sometimes too high or too low. He's pretty sure that, once again, he'll stand out by fucking up. And then everyone will regret having chosen him as his substitute, Raphael will be annoyed because he's invested so much time into getting Simon into the club. 

“Nervous, huh?”, Raphael adds and steps closer. 

Simon's leaning against the wall, arms pressed against it next to his body, and takes deep breaths. He doesn't see how close Raphael actually is because his eyes are closed in the hopes of keeping his head from spinning. He opens them when he feels the back of Raphael's hand against his cheek. 

“I'm  _ terrified _ .”, he admits, jerking his head to the side a bit. Raphael touching him certainly won't help him calm down. 

“Well, that's normal.”, Raphael nods in agreement. “It's your first competition, after all, right?”

Simon shakes his head. “That's not it. I just… I'm not good enough.”

“ _ Not good enough _ ?”, Raphael repeats. “You think I wouldn't have told you if you'd been bad during practice?”

Actually, he  _ has _ done exactly that. Multiple times. When Simon’s made a wrong step during a dance or when his voice was too loud or too quiet, Raphael's never shied away from calling him out on it. He's offered him ways of improvement right away and it's actually helped. But still, he's had to learn and memorise everything so quickly, it's an additional weight on his shoulder. 

“You wouldn't have had the time to get another replacement, in the end.”, Simon points out. There’s barely been enough time for the other Clan members to even judge Simon’s abilities, so if they had come to the conclusion that he’s not a fit after all, they would’ve been screwed. There wouldn’t have been a way to teach someone the entire performances in only two weeks or even less.

“ _ But _ we would have had the time to give you extra training, if it had been needed.”, Raphael answers. “You’re  _ good _ , Simon. I’m actually curious what it’ll be like when you have more time to prepare.”

“You’re just saying that to stop me from panicking.”

“Well,” Raphael gives him a small smile. “Yeah, that’s the reason why I’m actually  _ saying _ it, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true.”

At that the corners of Simon’s lips tuck into a smile as well. It’s a good thing that Raphael’s always so bluntly honest to him - it’s helping him feel better.

“I suppose I should finally calm down.”, Simon mumbles.

“We’re only on in 30 minutes,” Raphael informs him. “Means, you can stay out here for at least 15 more. Do you want me to leave?”

“I, uh--”

“If I were offended by that, I wouldn’t have asked. I know what it's like.”, Raphael says. “I will check up on you in ten minutes?”

Simon nods slowly and watches him walk over to the door. “Raphael!”, he calls before he opens it, “Just… thank you.”

“Any time.”, Raphael offers and the next moment, he’s gone.

Weirdly enough, as short as this exchange has been, it’s helped Simon to calm down at least somewhat. There’s still a feeling of anxiety, of course, seeing how he’s still facing a big performance and still feels utterly unprepared, but Raphael’s reassurance of him having done good before felt so genuine that Simon believes it. 

And yet, he leans back again, taking deep breaths as various pictures of what could happen next flood his mind. But he has to note, they’re a lot more positively ending than before.

 

-

 

It’s both a curse and a blessing that The Clan has decided to stay away from extravagant costumes - instead they all dress in the same blood red blazer paired with the black jeans and white button-down that they’ve all already put on before. In short: Simon’s dressed properly within a few minutes. And therefore, he is only distracted for a short time before having to swallow hardly every few seconds - he feels like he’s about to faint any moment.

Raphael’s occupied with hurrying from one person to another, either giving pep talks or checking up on them - a small part of Simon can’t help but feel a wave of disappointment at that. It means that Raphael worrying about him is nothing special because he does it with everyone. Logically, Simon should know that and yet there he is, glaring after the other with a mixture of hurt and anger.

Raphael’s wearing an honest expression of concern when he sees someone look awfully pale and he’s able to chat loosely with those who seem not as nervous. When he leaves someone, they’d always wear a relieved smile. Raphael seems to have quite a way of dealing with people - Simon understands why  _ he _ is the First Head of The Clan.

It’s only when Lily calls that it’s time to go up behind the stage that he notices how intently he’s been staring at Raphael - it’s completely robbed him off any sense for something else. He hasn’t even paid attention to the knot in his stomach any more. 

Raphael comes over to him as the others move towards the door. “You feeling better?”

Simon tries his best to hide the feeling of satisfaction he feels at that (apparently, being the newest member of The Clan has the perk of the Head worrying about you in particular. Simon can’t complain.) and nods. “Yeah, still nervous, though.”

“That’s normal.”, Raphael says. “Let’s go after the others,  _ bebé _ .”

They leave the changing room and Simon can feel his heartbeat going up - naively, he could think it’d be because he’s still nervous about the performance (which he still is, of course), but actually it’s because Raphael’s again grabbed his arm by the wrist, pulling him after him. It’s different to holding hands and yet he can’t help but think of this as strangely intimate. Simon could have easily made his way up the few stairs without getting lost but Raphael’s holding onto him, guiding the way. 

“Why was I even wondering where you went off to,” Lily sighs when they meet the group.

Everyone’s gathered in a circle, avoiding the red curtain parting them from the stage as if it were poisonous. The auditorium is quiet apart from chatter, seeing how there’s a break scheduled before their performance, but they are all still whispering as they discuss how they performance’s gonna go.

“You should probably give a pep talk,” Lily continues, looking at Raphael. “I know you’ve pretty much just done this but, like, as a whole--”

“Yeah, sure,” Raphael shrugs. He gives Simon a long look as if checking if  _ he’s _ okay with him talking to the others.

In response, Simon wiggles his wrist free - or well, he  _ tries _ but Raphael’s grip is strong. He seems to get the message, though, because in the next moment, he lets go. Simon’s almost scared of not having Raphael be a literal support in some way, but to his relief the other keeps standing as close as he’s done before.

“So, this is nothing that I haven’t said before,” Raphael starts, a bit louder than the others to gain their attention, “ _ but _ you’re all brilliant. This performance is gonna be great and even if something goes wrong, it’ll just be bad luck. We’ve all done good during practice, we sounded and looked amazing and that’s what counts, alright?”

Elliott actually  _ hollers _ at that - a sound that’s way too loud and makes everyone on the other side of the curtain shut up. Raphael rolls his eyes playfully but shoots a grin at him when a few of the others laugh.

“Now, let’s do something that won’t make Stan yell at us in anger.”, he adds with a nod.

He gains a small applause in return and Simon claps along. He actually gets a smile for that, too. 

And Raphael’s right - they’ve all done good and even Simon’s managed to go through the performances without any mistakes a lot of times. They’re well prepared, their routines are awesome and if anything goes wrong, it’s a coincidence. 

It’s time to shine, after all.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, but it made sense to stop it there, sorry.  
> Also, this was the very last thing I wrote for this fic because I just couldn't settle for a performance - I went with two songs that I absolutely love and that are simply fun.

So, thinking about it logically, it makes no sense to be panicking for several hours about something that lasts 10 minutes. But it’s as if you’re frightened because of a really important exam. You keep thinking about worst-case scenarios and then you deliver your best, and it’s done. There’s nothing you can do about it then any more.

Simon is still completely terrified when they make their way onto the stage, the bright lights blinding him and his heart beating so fast and loudly that he thinks everyone in the auditorium must be able to hear it. And even though he’s literally at the back of the rows, probably barely visible to anyone, he’s sure that if he sings off-key once or if he steps a bit more towards the left than he should, everyone will be able to see it.

And yet, when the music starts, he sings along when he needs to.

There are a few people in the audience who groan audible upon recognizing the melody of the song they start, and honestly? Simon can’t blame them -  _ Uptown Funk _ is that song that’s been everywhere for pretty much a whole year, so of course they’re annoyed. That is, for now. They have no idea what’s to come.

 

_ I got this feeling inside my bones _ _   
_ _ It goes electric, wavey when I turn it on _ _   
_ _ All through my city, all through my home _ _   
_ __ We're flying up, no ceiling, when we in our zone

 

Simon can’t see the reaction of the people watching them, but he hopes that they look confused or impressed or even amused - he’s certainly felt all of that when Raphael’s told them what they’d be performing. 

It’s actually the perfect idea for a competition like that. It’s two upbeat songs that have everyone go along and enjoy themselves, knitted into one while showing off their voices and moves. Elliott can belt out his loud notes, Josh (the best dancer of the group) can have the floor to himself at times and Raphael and Lily can hit the high notes of the bridge.

 

_ Under the lights when everything goes _

_ Nowhere to hide when I'm getting you close _

_ When we move, well, you already know _

_ So just imagine, just imagine, just imagine _

 

There’s actually a loud cheer coming from the audience when they finally dive into the lyrics of  _ Uptown Funk _ as well and Simon starts grinning as he moves to the music.

 

_ Don’t believe me just watch!  _

_ Can’t stop the feeling! _

_ Don’t believe me just watch! _

_ So just dance, dance, dance _

_ Don’t believe me just watch! _

_ Can’t stop the feeling! _

_ Hey, hey, hey _

 

The feeling of uncertainty doesn’t vanish completely, of course, after all it’s still a competition, but Simon feels himself relax and enjoy the whole thing more and more with every note that’s sung and every move he dances. The audience is clapping along and seemingly enjoying the show, so there’s not much to fear there. Of course, they’re not the ones who decide what place they get, but it’s exactly what Simon’s always wanted: To do what he loves in front of people and have them feel the same excitement that he does.

It’s a great time he’s having on stage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Referenced Songs:**   
>  [Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars - Uptown Funk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPf0YbXqDm0)   
>  [Justin Timberlake - Can't Stop the Feeling](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru0K8uYEZWw)
> 
> [Here's](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEwurbcxwn4) the mash-up I used as a reference - the tuning is not perfect, but it _could_ sound good.


	24. Chapter 24

Simon’s first encounter with Raphael’s mother is way different from what he had imagined. Not that he’s particularly fantasized about that - and actually, the base of the meeting is pretty much the same. He’d thought he’d get to meet her after a performance, yes, but then they’d all be in a celebratory mood and he’d be handed from one overjoyed hug to the other without even realizing who the people are who embrace him. 

Now, Simon’s been hugged by his own mum, Clary, Luke and Jocelyn tightly, more of a reassuring kind rather than a joyful - after all, they haven’t won. He hadn’t even spotted them during their performance, which is actually no surprise considering that multiple sources of light are aimed at your face and the mass of people in front of you is in the dark. Wherever that myth of finding a specific person in a crowd comes from, Simon wants to sue it. But they’ve come rushing up to him when everything was over and the Clan’s members have spread out in the hall in front of the auditorium. Simon hasn’t even had the time to be surprised that Luke and Clary have been there, too, when they basically ran him over.

“Fourth place out of 50 is an amazing score, Simon.”, Luke announces with a pat on his back when Clary lets go off him.

Technically, Simon knows that, but he can’t help but feel sad nonetheless. After all, you participate in a competition to win.

“You really were amazing, honey.”, his mum says and Jocelyn nods vehemently. “You all were.”

Simon tries to ignore the tightness in his throat and does his best to smile at them. He’s glad that they’re here - it’s been a surprise, really - because if he were to stand here on his own, he might’ve started bawling. 

He finds Raphael somewhere (not that he’s been actively looking for him, of course), talking to a woman who’s slightly taller than him. She’s wearing a serious expression as she talks to him, holding up his chin so that he looks at her. Raphael looks kind of sad, actually, and it makes Simon feel even worse. 

The group around Simon keeps chatting about how good they’ve been and that the jury should’ve placed them on a higher rank and while Simon feels grateful for that, he can’t stop watching Raphael interact with his mother. He guesses that she is his mother because she looks like she’s somewhere in her 40s and has the same honey-coloured skin - that and the fact that he can’t imagine that Raphael would let any other person touch him in so much affection.

At one point Raphael looks past his mother and finds Simon’s eyes. It’s probably just an accident because once he sees Simon look at him, he tries his best to hide his sadness and presses his lips together firmly. 

Raphael’s mum must have noticed that change in his expression because she turns to look into the same direction as her son. Simon doesn’t know how to react when she looks at him, so he quickly averts his eyes, trying to focus on his own family again. It’s difficult, though, because he’s zoned out when they’ve found a topic and he’s hearing Raphael’s voice as if it was closer and louder than before.

“¡ _ No, mamá, dejale tener un momento con su familia _ !”

Looking up, Simon sees that Raphael has, in fact, stepped closer. He’s hurrying after his mother who’s making his way towards Simon. Well, this could turn out to be interesting, considering the annoyed face Raphael makes.

“Excuse me, do you mind if I barge in?”, Raphael’s mother asks in the thick accent that Simon's heard before, tapping her finger at Jocelyn’s shoulder. “I’d just like to steal Simon--?”, she looks at him for confirmation. “--for a moment.”

Everyone looks at Simon and he can’t do anything but shrug. He doesn’t think it would be appreciated if he send Raphael’s mother off. Not that he’d want to, but this is pretty random, to be honest.

“Sorry for that.”, she smiles softly as they step a bit to the side. Over her shoulder, Simon can see that Raphael seems not particularly happy about the situation. “It’s just-- I know everyone in the club except for you and Raphael’s talked a lot about you--”

“ _ Mamá _ !”, Raphael groans in a pained tone, which confuses Simon a bit.

“Anyway, I’ve been meaning to tell you that you’ve done good,  _ cariño _ . It’s been your first competition,  _ no _ ? Amazing.”, she shoots a short look at her son before reaching for Simon’s shoulder. “I’m sure they’ll let you have solos next year.”

“Uh,  _ gracias _ .”, Simon says, blushing a little. “But, er, it’s all been thanks to Raphael, really.”

“Not all of it.”, Raphael mumbles.

Simon smiles at him.

“But really, you’ve done good,  _ bebé _ .” Simon guesses that Raphael’s mum chooses the nickname due to his newbie status only, and yet he can’t help but think of it in a weird way. For some reason, he’d just considered it to be  _ Raphael’s _ nickname for him. “Now, sorry again. You should continue talking to your family.”

“Thank you.”, Simon smiles at her and then again at Raphael. 

She winks at him shortly before shoving Raphael back to where they’d come from. Simon can hear them bickering, but it’s too quiet and fast for him to catch up. For now, he’s just confused as to how Raphael’s mum can be so nice without having to hide it behind a layer of sarcasm. With Raphael’s brother he’s been able to understand, because he’s young and everything, but he’d figured that any older member of his family must be the same. Actually, Simon’s quite glad that Raphael’s not as directly friendly because he’d probably have been overwhelmed by that. Plus, the way he wraps every praise into a new advice has proven to be fruitful.

“Was that Raphael’s  _ mother _ ?”, Clary wants to know when he re-enters their group.

“Wait, that was  _ Raphael _ ?”, Luke asks, his eyes wide. Apparently, he’s expected him to be different - Simon can guess that he’s thought of a scarier looking guy being the Head of the Clan.

Meanwhile, his mum whistles through her teeth. “Well,  _ okay _ , I see.”, she says in a suggestive voice and Simon shushes her, trying not to blush furiously. 

Okay, so fine, it doesn’t take long to get that the crush he’d mentioned to her is on Raphael - after all, he’s the one Simon’s spent most his time with recently. But that doesn’t mean he’s okay with her bringing it up  _ while he is present _ or with her  _ judging _ him. 

“What did she want?”, Jocelyn asks, either oblivious to the whole thing or friendly enough to change the topic at least somewhat.

“Uh, wanted to meet me. Because I’m new and all.”, Simon shrugs. “Apparently, she knows the whole club.”

“Nice of her.”, Jocelyn decides. As she looks over the crowd, he can imagine what she’s thinking. She knows all of the Institute’s club’s members, too, but they’re only a small group in contrast to the Clan.

“Anyway, do you guys know what this day screams for?”, Luke offers, smiling brightly.

“ _ Jade Wolf _ ?”, Clary and Simon ask at the same time, looking up at him. They’ve already been there in the past month, but you can never eat at the restaurant too often.

“Definitely.”

Their mums shake their heads in laughter, but follow as Luke moves them all towards the door. Simon wonders if he should say goodbye to his fellow club members, but they’re all talking to their own loved ones and shouting it into the room would probably not be noticed by anyone. Instead, he just follows along - after all, he’ll see them all on Tuesday again, if not before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
>  _¡No, mamá, dejale tener un momento con su familia!_ \- No, mum, let him have a moment with his family!  
>  _cariño_ \- darling


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter... is my baby. It's the first one I wrote for this fic <3

In retrospective, Simon's not even sure what he's expected from the first practice after Nationals. A part of him had guessed that, with how ambitious the club is, they would immediately think about next year's competitions - Simon has learned by now that his membership is final. On the other hand, though, he's gotten to know by now that not every student of the DuMort is as stuck up as the school would like you to believe, so maybe they'd just chill around. 

That's actually exactly what they do for a while, just sitting there, spread out in the room, and discussing their own and other clubs’ performances. Their conversations come to a halt when Raphael, who'd been sitting in the midst of it all in silence, makes a slow movement. 

He'd actually barely said a word since Nationals - to Simon, at least, that is. When he's unsuccessfully waited for their usual banter during Spanish class, Simon had figured that maybe Raphael was still mourning that they haven't won. He's always seemed to take music seriously - not just like a hobby but as something beautiful that needs to be honoured and cherished - so it's not just a bad assumption, probably. 

Everyone, including Simon, goes silent when Raphael raises his hand, directing their gazes at him. He's sitting completely straight, with his back pressed against that of the chair and his notebook on his lap, and looks completely business like. From what Simon knows, he's always made quite a business out of the club, which also explains why he's raising his hand instead of just shouting louder than the others. 

“Thank you,” Raphael says with a smug smile and puts down his hand. “I wanted to propose a song. And if you allow, I'd like to perform it, too.”

At that, some minor murmur starts going around. Simon can't blame them, he’s surprised as well. Of course, he’s heard Raphael sing quite often - either during their training sessions during lunch or even just under his breath when they’ve been somewhere together, and he even has had his fair share of solos at Nationals. But him volunteering to sing an entire song during practice? It’s unusual.

Naturally, they don’t have to do a vote about whether they agree or not. The muttering sounds positively enough and Raphael gets up, leaving the seat next to Simon empty as he walks over to the piano.

Simon’s come to think of it as  _ Raphael’s piano _ because he’s never even seen anyone else sitting there. Nowadays, it could almost be considered a part of him, that’s how used he is to that view.

His first instinct is to close his eyes and just listen to Raphael play and sing, but then his mind supplies that the others might think of that as weird, so he keeps looking at Raphael throughout the whole song.

As always, Raphael’s fingers are soft on the keys, showing the amount of skill that he has and that Simon’s envied since he’s first learnt that he plays.

Of course, he - and probably everyone else - recognizes the song almost immediately. Especially with the cover that Twenty One Pilots has made not too long ago, it’s risen to some renewed popularity again. Not that Simon hasn’t known it before, but he likes the version of Tyler Joseph nonetheless.

But  _ Raphael’s _ version is something entirely different. It doesn’t really surprise him that Raphael appreciates Elvis (or at least one of his songs) - for some reason it fits to his whole aesthetic.

Raphael’s voice is soft as ever as he starts singing.

 

_ Wise men say _

_ Only fools rush in _

_ But I can't help falling in love with you _

 

_ Shall I stay? _

_ Would it be a sin? _

_ If I can't help falling in love with you _

 

_ Like a river flows, surely to the sea _

_ Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be _

 

Raphael actually looks up as he’s singing, his hands not missing a single key as he plays on, and locks eyes with Simon. Simon can feel his cheeks warm up and notices how other members of the club look from him to Raphael and back again and tries to tell himself that it means nothing.

Sure, he’s grown quite close to Raphael and he knows that Raphael likes him, too. They share inside jokes and they kind of flirt sometimes but this… This is a  _ confession _ .

 

_ Take my hand _

_ Take my whole life too _

_ For I can't help falling in love with you _

 

A freaking  _ public _ confession. 

 

_ Like a river flows, surely to the sea _

_ Darling so it goes, some things are meant to be _

 

_ Take my hand _

_ Take my whole life too _

_ For I can't help falling in love with you _

_ For I can't help falling in love with you _

 

As always, Raphael looks down at the keys when he’s finished singing. Simon’s learnt by now that Raphael’s not sure himself why he does it, maybe to think about whether it’s been good, maybe to collect himself before seeing people’s reactions - he just does it. Today, though, he does it for a little longer than usually and only looks up when someone, Simon doesn’t know who because he can’t take his eyes off Raphael’s figure, starts talking.

“That was… beautiful.”, she says carefully.

It’s awkward to just be sitting there when he’s pretty much been  _ serenaded _ and Simon hates movies and shows for making it seem like a wonderful thing. Not that he doesn’t appreciate the fuzzy feeling in his stomach, but it is weird because everyone’s eyes are either on him or Raphael and he’s  _ embarrassed _ . 

Luckily, Lily comes to their rescue. “Practice is over,” she orders and nobody even  _ argues _ .

Simon stays where he is and so does Raphael, who is avoiding his eyes as everyone leaves the room. Simon can see how Lily pats his shoulder when she walks past him and he nods curtly, but that’s about his reactions.

Of course, they have to talk about this. But at the same time, Simon thinks, they don’t have to because everything’s been said. Well, from Raphael’s side at least. He guesses that now it’s his part to… admit things.

“Raphael,” he says softly and gets up from his seat at last. He doesn’t walk over to him right away, but hovers only inches away from his chair.

Raphael does look up at him, much to his surprise, and in his face there's-- nothing. It's an honest, raw expression about which Simon’s not quite sure how to take it. He's used to Raphael wearing his expressions on his face, at least those you'd title ‘negative’, so this is something he can't really respond to. 

So what he says next is dumb. 

“This song… you like Elvis?”

For a split second, he can see a change in Raphael's face. He slips into looking irritated and annoyed by Simon’s words and, honestly, he could deal better with that, so he tries again. 

“You know how there's actually also a Spanish version of this song?”

That breaks the spell, making Raphael roll his eyes. “Yeah, I  _ know _ . But I don't like it, it robs the song its sincerity, if you ask me.”, he shoots. 

Simon can't help but grin at this display of annoyance. At the same time he's a bit confused because he's pretty sure the song’s been produced for the  _ Lilo & Stitch _ soundtrack. 

“So… are you just going to ignore the elephant in the room?”, Raphael asks, and  _ thank God _ , his voice has not gone all back to being soft and shaky again. 

“You actually meant it?”

“ _ Dios _ , yes, Simon, I meant it. I wish I didn't but here we are.”

“I don't have a song prepared to respond appropriately.”, Simon starts and finally moves again, stepping closer to Raphael. 

“You're making fun of me.”, Raphael states, his voice hollow. He looks up again when Simon sits down next to him, but doesn't make any more space for him. 

Simon sighs and puts a hand on the lid of the keys, his palm showing to the ceiling. It's an invitation for Raphael and he hopes he gets it. “No, I mean it because then I wouldn't have to try my way with my own words. Look, being sung to during practice is pretty stressful…? I'm a bit overwhelmed, but that doesn't mean that I-- that I don't--”

Raphael’s eyes are still fixed on where his hands are on his lap and Simon can now see that his cheeks are slightly red. 

“I like you, too, Raph. Actually done for a while already but I-- I guess I didn't think I had a chance.”, Simon laughs. 

Now he finally looks up, surprise showing on his face when he looks at Simon. “Are you kidding me? I've heard nothing but teasing about this for weeks. My  _ mum _ knew.”

“We're both oblivious, apparently, because it's been the same in my case.”

“You--  _ ¿Estás colgado por mi? _ ”

“Yes,” Simon breathes and starts smiling. “Is that so surprising?”

“I'm awful.”, Raphael states. “I'm bad with people and have the emotional range of a penny.”

“Nah,” Simon makes, “You're difficult, that's all. And my comic subscriptions will tell you that I do love difficulties.”

At that remark, Raphael rolls his eyes. But there's a smile on his lips, too, and finally he raises a hand and moves it towards Simon’s in a slow pace. Simon’s own smile grows into a grin when he closes his hand around Raphael’s, enjoying the feeling. 

“How about we go get a coffee?”, he offers, still grinning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
>  _¿Estás colgado por mi?_ \- You have a crush on me?
> 
>  
> 
> **Featured songs:**  
> [Elvis Presley - Can't Help Falling in Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGJTaP6anOU)
> 
>  
> 
>  **Referenced songs:**  
> [Twenty One Pilots - Can't Help Falling in Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ThQkrXHdh4)  
> [Bandana - Muero de Amor por Ti](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEtfnHsVgpU) (This version is featured on _Latin American_ versions of Lilo  & Stitch.)


	26. Chapter 26

Simon frowns at the shirts that Izzy is holding up. They're both dark, one of them actually black and the other blue, and probably a slim fit. Simon had been irritated when Izzy brought him something out of Jace’s wardrobe, but she's claimed that it'd fit because Simon’s started ‘to fill out since he started dancing’, apparently. He has no idea how she'd want to know about that (also, only his legs have gotten stronger from what he can tell but okay) but if there's one thing you don't want to do in your life it's arguing with Isabelle Lightwood.

It's actually a pretty weird situation for him to be in considering that Clary and Izzy, two girls he'd wanted to date once upon a time, are helping him get ready for his first real date. He's glad that they're here, of course, because he'd go crazy trying it on his own - he has no idea what kind of diner they're going to, so he wouldn't know whether to wear something casual or not and at least Izzy seems to know how to wear  _ one _ outfit that fits to  _ every _ occasion. 

Because, see, he's quickly figured that going into the cinema with Raphael could be disastrous. He has no idea what kind of movie Raphael would even like and somehow, there's this association one has with movies… Not that Simon wouldn't like kissing Raphael - on the contrary - but at this point he's not sure that would even happen. He doesn't want to run head first into something and he has the feeling that Raphael’s not the person to make out with someone on their first date, no matter how long they've known each other before. In the end they'd just be bored and not enjoy the evening at all. 

They've agreed on going out for dinner and since Simon barely knows anything about where to go in Harlem, he's left it to Raphael to decide where to go. Raphael's even told him the name of the restaurant, but it doesn't seem to be traceable online, so he has no clue what kind of ambiente it is. 

“You should go with the blue one,” Clary suggests, “Knowing Raphael, he will wear black and you guys don't want to look like you're going to a funeral, do you?”

Simon has to give her that, despite only having seen Raphael twice, she seems to know him pretty well already - or at least his dressing habits. 

“Yeah, come on, give it to me.”, he sighs and reaches out for the shirt. 

Isabelle hands it to him with a smile and then he leaves for the bathroom. 

It's a simple outfit, actually, and if he had a bigger mirror, he could probably give up a better statement, but as far as he can tell, it could look good. He's wearing dark skinny jeans - pretty much the only pair he has - and Jace’s shirt fits way better than he'd suspected. It's a bit too long, yes, but that's caused more by the fact that Jace is taller than him than anything else. The shirt’s colour looks good against his skin. 

Truth be told, he could imagine better things than wearing a shirt from someone who doesn't particularly like him to his first date, but this will have to do. Somehow it’s weird, actually, how he’s dressing up now when Raphael’s been seeing him in his usual clothes all the time and still decided to ask him out. 

That being said, Simon still can’t believe what is happening. Not only seems Raphael way out of his league - Simon supposes that he’s not ugly but  _ Raphael _ , Raphael looks like an  _ angel _ in every aspect, so there is a difference. Raphael is the definition of discipline, he always knows what to say, he is freaking  _ talented _ . He’s pretty much the opposite of Simon, the only thing connecting them is their love to music. And, Simon guesses, that they can both speak Spanish.

And yet, Raphael has confessed to  _ liking _ him. Like, if he meant the words of the song  _ literally _ … Simon’s heart starts pounding faster. 

“Wow, you look sharp.”, Clary says when he finally comes back into the room, an appreciating look on her face as she looks him up and down.

“Not yet,” Izzy speaks up and jumps up from where she’s sitting next to her. The next moment, she’s standing in front of Simon and running her hands through his hair.

“Uh, what are you  _ doing _ ?” Simon’s voice is a bit alarmed. After all, he’d been careful not to mess up his hair while putting on this outfit! Does she even know how much time it takes to tame his hair?

“Don’t worry, I won’t pull all of it out.”, Izzy shushes him. He does hope ‘it’ means the product and not his hair. “Your curls would be a mess without gel, yes, but they’re still cute enough to be shown.”

Simon scrunches up his nose at that but leaves be. After all, he wouldn’t be able to fix it now anyways.

When she’s finished, she pats his cheek softly. “There you go. If I weren’t with Clary…”, she says, winking at him.

Simon would’ve laughed even without Clary’s offended shout, but it’s even funnier with it. “Thank you, Iz.”

“Any time.”, she smiles. “So, are you ready?”

Simon gulps at that. It’s dumb, really, considering how it’s obviously not the first time he’s met Raphael. Okay, fine, it’s only the fourth time outside of school and now there are expectations and everything, but it shouldn’t be such a big deal, right? But then again, if this  _ date _ turns out to be a mess, things will be awkward. He doesn’t think there could be a way how it’d ever go back to normal between them again and that wouldn’t be just weird because they see each other several times a day, it would also be  _ sad _ . Because, obviously, Simon  _ likes _ Raphael. Like, character-wise. As a friend. (And as more, too, of course.)

“Si, it’ll be great.”, Clary snaps him out of his thoughts. “Just be yourself, that seems to do the trick.”

“Right.”, he nods, not really believing it. 

“Okay, let’s get you out of here,” she continues. “You don’t want to be late, right?”

Simon wants to speak up and say how he’ll probably be at the meeting point later than Raphael because Raphael is freakishly punctual, but before he can open his mouth, both girls grabs one of his arms and drag him out of the room. 

It’s good that he doesn’t have to take the next steps himself.

 

-

 

Simon’s deadly tired on Monday. Not only has he barely been able to sleep for the past nights (first because of anxiety, then because of post-good-date feelings and then because of excitement to see Raphael again), no, he also feels like he’s missing a day. He kind of  _ is _ missing one, actually, because he’s spent his whole Saturday with panicking and getting ready so he’s had to do all his homework yesterday - and usually, Sundays are for chilling.

Not that he regrets it, but he almost falls asleep during Geography. That’s nothing new since it’s the first lesson on a Monday, but today it’s even worse than usually.

The silver lining? Spanish class. 

His date with Raphael hadn’t actually been  _ that _ spectacular. They’ve gone out for dinner (the restaurant they’ve been to actually wore the name  _ Taki’s Diner _ and yet Raphael insisted it was a restaurant), mostly talking, and both of them paying their own share before going out to take a walk. And yet, Raphael’s been smiling more often and after some time outside Simon’s found the courage to take his hand and it’s been  _ good _ . 

There’s been initial tension on both their sides but it’s wavered quickly when Raphael couldn’t hold back a sarcastic comment about something really random - Simon’s just lost it at that, laughing whole-heartedly and then everything was pretty normal again. 

And since Simon  _ still _ doesn’t know his way around the neighbourhood, Raphael’s insisted on walking him home. It’s been sweet and as a goodbye, Simon’s kissed him shortly before speeding up the stairs to hide from his reaction (according to Raphael’s SMS when he got home, it’s been very  _ fine _ ).

So, when Simon walks into Spanish class and sees that for once in his life Raphael does not only look up when he greets him but actually  _ smiles _ , Simon is not only fully awake at once but filled with a buzzy feeling.

Okay, so maybe Simon’s also been lying awake because he’d been thinking how to say how much he’s enjoyed their date - meaning, he’s been thinking and thinking about which song to sing for Raphael. It’s only fair considering that Raphael has sung for him.

And suddenly he knows just which song to sing. 

“Hey, can you come to the choir room during lunch?”, Simon asks as he sits down.

Raphael raises an eyebrow. “I was meaning to be there anyway.”

“Nice.”

 

-

 

**To Clary:** If I haven’t texted you until tonight, I’m dead.

**From Clary:** ???

**To Clary:** I may be about to do something stupid.

**To Clary:** No drugs or anything - it’s Raphael-related.

**From Clary** : You’re not asking him to marry you, are you? One good date is not exactly that much of a seal.

**To Clary:** Don’t be stupid. Just… I’ll tell you about this afterwards.

**From Clary:** If you survive.

**To Clary:** If I survive.

**From Clary:**  Good luck!

 

-

 

As always, Raphael is in the choir room before Simon. He’s learnt by now that the other has a class in the same building before, in contrast to Simon who has to walk from one building to the other. Still, it bothers Simon because that means Raphael is already sitting at his piano and waiting for him. Which would be nice and all, if it didn’t mean Simon would have to get ready in front of him rather than just start playing when Raphael enters.

However, Raphael is not  _ sitting _ but rather picking up the instruments that are shattered on the ground. He turns when he hears Simon enter and stops.

“Okay, no, you need to sit down before I lose my courage.”, Simon tells him quickly, motioning for Raphael to sit down somewhere.

Raphael raises an eyebrow but walks over to the piano nonetheless. He crosses his arms when he sinks down, leaning against it.

“Hang on.”, Simon says, turning to the cupboard. He picks out a guitar and starts strumming, trying if he manages the melody. It works. 

He smiles at Raphael when he sees his expression - it shows surprise, curiosity and something that Simon can’t quite place, but it seems to be a positive feeling so maybe he’ll not be killed today.

 

_ Oh well in five years time we could be walking round a zoo _ _   
_ _ With the sun shining down over me and you _ _   
_ _ And there'll be love in the bodies of the elephants too _ _   
_ __ And I'll put my hands over your eyes, but you'll peep through

 

It doesn’t sound exactly like the original, considering that the most prominent instrument there is an ukulele and Simon’s playing the guitar and that the singer has a British accent which Simon just can’t pull off, but he’s learnt the song a while ago - and never has he meant it as sincerely as now.

He does hope that whatever he and Raphael may have lasts for as long as possible without being forced. It should be just as easy as this song, in full honesty.

Raphael looks at him. Simon’s gotta say, by now he really has learnt to read his expressions. At the beginning of the semester he would’ve guessed that Raphael is disinterested but now he can see the tug at the corner of his lips and the sparkle in his eyes. Simon gives him a wide smile in return.

 

_ Although maybe all these moments are just in my head _ _   
_ _ I'll be thinking ‘bout them as I'm lying in bed _ _   
_ _ And all that I believe, it might not even come true _ _   
_ __ But in my mind I'm havin' a pretty good time with you

 

He ends the song and breathes a tiny bit heavier (not because of the singing, mind you, he’s actually learnt those breathing techniques, thank you very much) because he’s both excited and anxious to see Raphael’s reaction.

It doesn’t come right away, so Simon fumbles with the strap of the guitar as he walks over to the rows of chairs.

Simon's barely got the time to put the guitar down because Raphael basically flings himself at him. He steps closer, pushing him backwards with his whole weight until they've made all the way to the wall. 

It's the first time that he's making out against a wall, but honestly? Simon understands why people like it so much. 

Raphael's kiss is fierce, pressing him against the wall, and as if they weren't close enough, Simon holds onto his hips and pulls them towards himself. He's so gone in that moment, he has no other choice than to  _ moan _ against Raphael's upper lip when he bites into his while gripping into his hair. 

It's actually their first real kiss - unless you count the small peck they've shared on Saturday - and it's no surprise that Raphael takes the lead, seeing how it's been like that ever since they met. Simon doesn't mind as long as they keep pushing against each other. 

That's why he almost whimpers when Raphael stops kissing him. His hands are still dug into Raphael's hips and Raphael's are still in his hair, they're both panting heavily but  _ they've stopped kissing _ . That's not good. 

Raphael chuckles at the noises he's made. “You need air, Simon.”

“Nah, I really don't. Here I thought my endless talking would show that.”

“You're ridiculous,” Raphael laughs and kisses him again, shortly. “I, uh, I wanted to point out that-- I'm asexual. It seems only fair.”

“Well,” Simon shrugs as much as is possible in his position, “I wasn't planning on having my first time at school anyway.”

“You're… okay with it?”

“Of course! Unless you'd only just forgotten yourself and it actually does mean that you don't like making out, because that'd be a bummer.”

“I've actually never even thought about  _ doing _ this before.”, Raphael says, biting his lip shortly.  _ Oh _ , does Simon hate him for it. “I like it.”

“Great.”, Simon smiles and turns them around so that Raphael's back is against the wall. 

That is, that was his plan. 

Instead, he's sent Raphael stumbling over a small drum that lay on the floor, kicking them into a pile of tambourines. He's barely able to keep Raphael from falling and flinching at the loud noise it's produced. Turns out, he should've let Raphael tidy up after all. 

“ _¿_ _ Cuánto tiempo hasta alguien viene a comprobar? _ ”, Simon asks, slipping into Spanish when he sees Raphael’s half-way shocked, half-way furious expression. He's still holding on to Raphael, his hands having slipped to his back while catching him, and Raphael's closed his arms behind his neck to support that act. 

“30 seconds?”, he offers. 

“Do we care?”

“ _ Of course _ we care!  _ Dios _ , Simon.”, Raphael hisses and finally puts his feet down on the ground properly. 

“It was worth a try.”, Simon sighs and lets go off him eventually. 

Raphael stands up straight then, trying to fix the mess that Simon made of his shirt. “You better put those away,” he motions towards the instruments, “after all, it's your fault they're still lying around.”

Simon makes a noise between regret and whining but does start to bring some order back into that mess, carrying some of the tambourines to the cupboard. Since it's apparent that Raphael doesn't want to carry on what they'd be doing, he's only got to choose between tidying up and having Raphael stare at him angrily (which probably wouldn't be in his favour in the long run). So yeah, once again, he's following Raphael’s orders. 

Someone actually sticks their head inside to ask if everything's alright, but Raphael’s quickly told them how they'd just stumbled during dance practice. They were already gone again before Simon has looked towards the door. 

He shoots a glance at Raphael next but earns a pointed look in return, telling him to continue. Raphael's walked back to his bag and is looking for something right now. Simon sighs. If Raphael's starting to do homework, their make-up session really is over. 

By the time that Simon managed to put the tambourines into the cupboard, neatly into several small piles so that they wouldn't fall out the next time someone opens the cupboard, their lunch break is close to its end, much to Simon’s dismay. Not that he's that fixed on making out with Raphael - no, he likes just hanging out with him as much, of course - but it's been the first time they've done that and it's been  _ good _ . And, after all, he's a very pansexual teenage boy who has his first proper… boyfriend? He has no idea if he and Raphael are officially together or not. 

Once he's put the few drums that have been lying on the floor as well into the cupboard, he closes the door and lets out a noise of relief. He sinks down on the chair next to Raphael in what he hopes is a graceful way, smiling at him. “ _ Tada _ .”

Raphael glances up shortly and huffs at the closed door before he continues reading.

“Are you  _ mad _ at me?”, Simon wants to know. “Come on, you can’t just ignore me!”

“I’m not ignoring you.”, Raphael states. “I actually need to read this paper for my Eco class. I’d planned to do  _ that  _ during break instead of making out.”

For some reason, hearing Raphael say the words  _ making out _ causes Simon to giggle. “You liked my performance that much, huh?”

“It was cute.”, Raphael mumbles. “Will you stop staring at me?”

“One more kiss?”, Simon offers.

Raphael sighs and turns his head towards Simon’s, lifting his chin with his free hand. The kiss is short and not as fiery as those before, but Simon’s still sad when it’s over. Raphael smiles before leaning back again and giving him a pointed look.

“Fine,” Simon says quickly, “I will, uh, do homework, too? Like, for  _ tomorrow _ in contrast to people who have to do things for  _ today _ still.”

“Good idea.”, Raphael says with a small chuckle when Simon gets up to gather his bag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
>  _¿Cuánto tiempo hasta alguien viene a comprobar?_ \- How much time until someone comes to check?
> 
> **Featured songs:**   
>  [Noah and the Whale - 5 Years Time](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8YCSJpF4g4)


	27. Chapter 27

“Okay, we need to leave now if we want to get to Magnus’ without having to switch subways.”, Raphael sighs and pats Simon’s knee. He shoots an apologetic smile at Elaine.

Truth be told, when Simon had first taken Raphael home to introduce him to his mother, he’d been freaking out. He’d been fully convinced that his mum would love Raphael, but that would mean that she’d have to exchange more than five sentences with him. Because Raphael’s polite, yes, but he’s also incredibly closed off when you don’t know him - and that’s something his mum could understand the wrong way.

But it’s been fine and Raphael’s come over almost every week after his shift at the library and had dinner with Simon and his mum. And they get along, much to Simon’s relief. Sometimes he thinks that she’d even like to invite him to stay, but then her strictness comes up again. 

Right now, they’re seated in the living room and Simon’s mum has decided to tell Raphael about the beginnings of his musical career, completely ignoring his corrections when it gets too embarrassing. Raphael’s chuckling at the right times (much to Simon’s dismay) and seems to enjoy the conversation (much to Simon’s delight).

“Ugh, I hate when you have to do that.”, Simon agrees and gets up. Living in New York means that waiting for another line for ten minutes is ten minutes too much - something that he likes to bring up every time. Raphael is very much annoyed by that.

His mum rolls her eyes softly at that but smiles at them when she tells them to have a good night. Simon reminds her to not wait up for him because they’d be spending at Magnus’ place so that they wouldn’t have to get back to Harlem in the middle of the night.

“I  _ know _ , I’ve gotten that the first five times you mentioned that.”, she says and pushes them towards the door. “See you soon, Raphael. And don’t drink so much, Simon!”

“I’ll take care of that.”, Raphael promises with a wink and Simon fakes offense at that.

And then they finally go because he  _ really _ doesn’t want to sit around at a subway station.

“I think you’ll like Jace.”, Simon says as they walk down the street. They’ve started holding hands almost as soon as the building’s door closed behind them - Simon wouldn’t have been able to tell you why, but they do that whenever they can.

“From what I’ve heard  _ you _ don’t even really like him.”, Raphael comments.

“Nah, I do. He’s just... even more of a sarcastic asshole than you.”, Simon tells him with a grin. “But that’s something you could bond over.”

“A month into this relationship and  _ you _ are the one who insults  _ me _ .”, Raphael mumbles. “ _ Pensé que estuvimos de acuerdo hacerlo al revés _ .”

“ _ The past is in the past _ .”, Simon sings softly. At Raphael’s raised eyebrow, he explains, “That’s from  _ Frozen _ .”

“Oh,” Raphael makes. “I’ve only seen it in Spanish.”

Simon’s actually not that surprised that he’s seen it at all - knowing Raphael, he’s probably watched it multiple times with his brothers. Simon’s still amazed just how much Raphael manages to do: school, Glee, work, his family and now, on top of it all, a boyfriend. Sometimes he feels like he’s probably a cause of additional stress to him, but the way that Raphael freely smiles around him tells him the opposite, thankfully.

Simon would be too egoistic to give this up anyway.

 

-

 

They arrive at Magnus’ place only a little later than planned because Raphael’s insisted they bring some snacks, too, despite Magnus explicitly saying that they shouldn’t. They’re meeting up for what he’s called a “Traditional Semester Closing Party”, although Simon thinks it’s hardly traditional when it’s only happened once before. Also, it isn’t really a party but rather just… their group hanging out.

Initially, at the end of the last semester, Magnus had just wanted to invited Alec and his siblings (probably to get even more on their good side) but Isabelle had insisted on bringing Clary and Clary had insisted on bringing Simon, because she’s a sweetheart like that. And now that both he and Jace have boyfriends, too, they’re allowed to tag along. 

“Ah, if that isn’t the most disgusting evidence of mutual pining alive.”, Magnus greets them with a bright grin. “Why did you bring that?”, he adds, pointing at the bag of chips in Raphael’s hand.

“It’s called being a good guest, Bane.”, Raphael mumbles and rolls his eyes when Magnus hugs him. He’s smiling, though, Simon can see it.

“Great, now I have a bag too much.”

“Well, I guess Diego wouldn’t say no to it, right?”, Simon asks Raphael. “Raph could still bring it home.”

Magnus looks at him like he’s seeing him for the first time, blinking a few times.

“You alright?”, Simon asks, waving a hand in front of his face. They’re still standing in the doorway of his apartment, which is quite weird.

“Yeah, sure.”, Magnus says quickly. “Just needed some time to actually realise that you’re together now. I need all the details about that, by the way.”

“Magnus, you may be a teenager but you’re no teenage girl.”, Raphael reminds him dryly. 

“Excuse me?”, Magnus says, clutching his chest. “Gossip is not limited to any gender! Plus, that was pretty sexist.”

“Don’t you dare slap my head.”, Raphael says in a serious voice and Magnus backs off at last.

“Is that Simon?”, Clary calls from the living room, her voice full of excitement. “Simon!”

Simon shoots Magnus a questioning look and makes a drinking gesture at which he only gets a shy smile and shrug as an answer. Apparently, they’ve started early here.

“Well, I think we better say hello.”, Simon offers and grabs Raphael’s sleeve, pulling him into the living room.

They’re greeted by joyful cheers of Clary and (to Simon’s surprise) Meliorn. They’re huddled together on the floor, leaning against one of the couches. It seems like Clary’s found a new drinking buddy.

“Hello,” Isabelle waves and even Alec and Jace nod at them. 

When Simon goes to hug Clary, she pulls him down to sit on the ground next to her. He glances up at Raphael and earns a snort. But then Raphael climbs to sit  _ on _ the couch behind him. 

Simon hears how Raphael and Alec exchange introductions but it’s hard to focus on that when Clary starts babbling about how he should try that cocktail Magnus makes and how nice Meliorn is. Simon’s actually talked to Meliorn a couple of times before because he’s been in the same Math class, so he knows that he’s nice, but he doesn’t say so because he doesn’t want to dim Clary’s excitement. 

It’s actually comfortable to just hang out with his friends and do nothing. They’re talking and laughing, drinking a few drinks and enjoying themselves. Soon enough, Simon’s involved in an argument with Magnus about whether the Avengers are better or the X-Men (they both agree that the X-Men have way better chances but they still argue about the reasons). Weirdly enough, Alec throws in the best points despite only listening in every now and then because he’s discussing something with his siblings.

Raphael seems to have a similar skill because as it seems, he’s participating in every conversation at once. He’s discussing  _ art _ with Clary, offering the Lightwood siblings ideas for their mother’s birthday and mentions to Simon how,  _ yes _ , the X-Men are way better than the Avengers, but are they also better than the Justice League? 

Simon wonders if that should be counted as their first fight, but then Raphael drops it and starts correcting Meliorn when he messes up the lyrics to the song he’s singing. Simon can’t even tell which one it is, but Raphael seems to  _ really _ be on top of his game today.

It’s no surprise that much later, when everyone but Alec, Magnus and the two of them have left, Raphael lets out a long sigh and looks like he’s gonna fall asleep any second. 

“Hey,” Simon makes and nudges his shoulder, “Let me pull out the couch first.”

Magnus and Alec have already gone to bed, trusting that Simon knows how to work with a couch that he’s helped carrying up the stairs. 

“Yeah, hang on, I’ll help.”, Raphael says and gets up to collect the pillows. He looks tired, but he manages. 

It’s not the first time that they share a bed - Mamá Santiago has been proven to be more open when it comes to that - but it’s still different because they’re not in the close privateness of Raphael’s room this time. Not that anything’s happened between them except kisses, but still it’s weird.

“You didn’t have to join  _ every _ conversation,” Simon says softly when he lies down next to Raphael who’s already curled up but waiting for him.

“ _ Fue agradable. _ ”, Raphael mumbles, putting an arm over Simon’s stomach and pulling him closer.

“Really?”

“Really.”, Raphael nods against his side. “I’m tired.”

“Yeah, I can imagine.”, Simon chuckles and presses a kiss into his hair. Even if Raphael claims he hasn’t meant it that way, Simon knows that he’s really  _ worked _ to get along with his friends. Seeing how he’s smoothly fit into every part, he wouldn’t have had to try so hard, but Raphael wouldn’t be Raphael if he didn’t do his best. “Goodnight,  _ ángel _ .”

Raphael seems to be halfway asleep when Simon nestles even closer to him, but he responds nonetheless. It’s very quiet and muffled against Simon’s shirt, so it’s probably just his mind that decides to hear “ _ Te quiero _ ”, but he blushes anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**  
>  _Pensé que estuvimos de acuerdo hacerlo al revés._ \- I thought we agreed to do it the other way around.  
>  _Fue agradable._ \- It was nice.  
>  _ángel_ \- angel  
>  _Te quiero._ \- I love you.
> 
> **Referenced songs:**  
> [Frozen Soundtrack - Let It Go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moSFlvxnbgk)
> 
>  
> 
> So! That's all, folks! Thanks so much for the amount of support and love I got.  
> All the comments were so lovely and helpful and made me smile for _days._ You may have noticed that I've started to delete some of my answers to comments (when they've been nothing more but a quick thanks), but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate them! It's just that I figured I don't wanna make this fic look like it got even more love than it did, in case people sort their fic searches by how many comments something got. So yeah, I've definitely read every single comment and reacted and been glad and happy and thankful.  
>  Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> If you want, you can reblog this fic [on tumblr](http://joanthangroff.tumblr.com/post/154558379658/livin-just-to-find-emotion) (or come talk to me).
> 
> Please leave a comment! :) Thank you for reading!


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